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Consequences

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#1 May 16 - 2PM
wacaet
wacaet's picture

Consequences

I leased an apartment when I left my husband. It was close to N's house...was going to be our love getaway. hahahaha
He never once came over (in spite of many promises) and I moved out 10 days after moving in, the night I found out the truth about him, I went home.
The consequences are rough, I have to pay until it releases. The manager just called, it leased...but not until 07/01...3 months rent, total for 10 days of living there (not to mention the pet deposit I paid so my cats could live there for 4 days)
When I was deciding to move out, an alanon friend said "we don't like to make rash decisions" and I was like "oh, why not? I think this is the best possible thing to do"
I wish someone had locked me in a room until I came to my senses. 3 months rent and possible exposure to herpes, hurting my entire family...well, I guess it could have been a lot worse. At least I'm free of HIM!

May 16 - 5PM
victimnomore
victimnomore's picture

wacaet

Give yourself a break. I know that it is a lot of money to pay for something that you are not using but something you said struck a cord with me. Your husband is being really, really good about the situation. I was/am married to a narc/psycho for 25 years and am currently divorcing (thank GOD!) And all i ever wanted was a husband like the one you have (capable of caring and being there for you when you need him). Yes, It could have been a lot worse. You could have married him and spent the next part of your life in hell! Hang in there it will get better. Peace!

victimnomore

May 16 - 4PM
SoaperGirl
SoaperGirl's picture

Yeah, I feel pretty foolish myself

Could be worse. I was reminded on another site by someone who knows my situation that it was obvious my narc was forcing me to move from my home, quit my job, leave my family all to move in isolation with the narc in his crappy, horrible little house. It really hurt my family. Only thing that saved me from ending up in an emotionally abusive relationship was CANCER! So, here I sit retired, living on a limited income, and feeling like I need to start all over again...I feel alone, lonely, broke, disgusted with myself for believing all the lies...narc boy meanwhile, it feels like he's living it up with a new financially secure OW in a fancy, expensive house,without a care in the world. Not true...but I'm really sitting on the pity pot today. I feel so stupid and gullible! Crap! How do I pull myself out of this funk? I will survive, it will get better! (My mantra!)
May 16 - 3PM
Caligirl
Caligirl's picture

wacaet

Please do not be so hard on yourself. I know it's hard. On consequences, yes they are hard to deal with. If only we had a crystal ball, we could have been spared. For me, it was that I spent thousands of dollars to move, TWICE. I even bought his plane ticket and got no appreciation. My exN made a big deal that he came to get me and then said he saved up and paid for it (A complete lie. He bought SOME gas and one night's hotel. Like I said, I bought his plane ticket and the rest of the trip). Now, I could really use the money. What is really pathetic is that he would use emotional blackmail for any money he spent. Anyway, at least you found out who he is. It is good to be free of the N, but it is so hard! Hugs!!
May 16 - 3PM (Reply to #2)
wacaet
wacaet's picture

I'm just really disappointed

I'm just really disappointed that it didn't lease with a June 1st move in. $850 is a lot of money. Fortunately we can scrape it together and my husband is being a saint about the whole thing. (He really, really is, in spite of our troubles, he has shown me what true love is really like)