congratulations to me

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#1 May 13 - 2PM
red
red's picture

congratulations to me

I'm feeling stronger today.
Usually the weekends are the hardest, I continually find myself feeling sad, lonely,wondering what happened, thinking about what he might be doing, where he might be and who he might be with.

Today, I kept myself busy, tried not to give myself too much time to let my mind wonder. I did it.
I think I had a 'light bulb moment'.
How dare he treat me as if I didn't matter. I matter. We all matter.
I have seen him for who he really is, I know that he is unhealthy for me, I know I felt less and less happy when I was waiting for him to call, message, answer my calls etc...
I feel calmer now 3 weeks NC. I'm not anxiously waiting for him to get in touch. I haven't sent a message and am now waiting for a reply, wondering why he isn't replying.
I know now that he played me. I'm not ok with that, but at least the shitty feelings are subsiding.
I have remembered who I am, I have remembered that I'm a good person who deserves more,..deserves much better.

So, tomorrow I'm going to splash out, go a little crazy myself. I'm going to buy myself a fabulous bag that I've had my eye on for longer than I can remember.
I'm going to start being good to myself, I deserve it.
It's a present to myself for staying NC and realising that I'm better of without that toxic piece of shit in my life. Congratulations to me for finally seeing/getting it.

It was a close call, he had the ability to pull me down fast, well, I'm not drowning for that sucker, I'm coming up for air, and It's starting to feel good.

May 14 - 1AM
eyeswideopen35
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Wow red, that awesome you ate

May 13 - 3PM
Emmy
Emmy's picture

Bravo, Red!

May 13 - 3PM
fallingfoward
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You go girl!!!!

May 13 - 3PM (Reply to #9)
red
red's picture

Dear ff, Think of how he's

May 13 - 3PM (Reply to #10)
fallingfoward
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hahahaha.....

May 13 - 3PM
tootsgee
tootsgee's picture

good for you....!!!

May 13 - 3PM (Reply to #3)
red
red's picture

Ohhh, lovely. Time to start

May 13 - 3PM (Reply to #4)
tootsgee
tootsgee's picture

you really do sound to be

May 13 - 4PM (Reply to #5)
red
red's picture

Yeah, feeling positive today.

May 14 - 8AM (Reply to #7)
Janie53
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Red

May 13 - 4PM (Reply to #6)
tootsgee
tootsgee's picture

ha ha Red... funny!!!! I went

May 13 - 3PM
BtrflyGrl
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Good for you. You do deserve