confronting the Narcisisst

Hi I am new here. I just joined officially today. I have been watching this site for a while and it has really helped me get through my breakup with exN. We officially split in the middle of October.

I will not get into details about my exN. Everything I read on here validates everything I felt during our entire relationship and I am 100% sure that he is a full fledged N.

I confronted my exN about his issues before leaving. I never actually used the term narcissist, but I told him he was emotionally abusive, controlling, manipulative, etc. I was very respectful and naïve when I confronted him. I told him that I still loved him and if he could acknowledge, admit, and hold himself accountable and work on his issues that I would stay by his side. Of course he projected all of those issues and problems on to me and told me I was psychotic.

I was very close with his family. Luckily, they all know he has issues too and I didn't feel like I was trying to convince an army. I had a very long talk with his dad one day (the only person he actually respects) and his dad was understanding. His closest friends are also aware something isn't right. His best friend who introduced us told me (in so many words-trying to be respectful of both parties b/c my ex N is really like his brother) that he was sorry for introducing us because I deserved better.

But now I have this fear. and I know on some level this fear is irrational. and it is also selfish. I have a fear that he will take what I have said and truly change for someone else. I know he has too much pride to admit he was wrong to me. But I have this fear he would start on a clean slate and be really really good to someone else.

I know this is irrational because as deep as his issues go (he is without a doubt a N), this is unlikely. He might make the façade last longer with the next woman he is with, but I know it will be temporary.

And I also feel this is selfish of me to feel this way. I don't hate him and I do want him to be happy. He had a rough childhood (excuses, yes, I know)and I just understand what caused him to act the way he did. But explanations are not excuses. So if he does learn from his mistakes why couldn't I just be happy for him?

I hope everyone is having a great Thanksgiving. I am very grateful to have found this site to help me get through this tough time.

Any comments or advice would be much appreciated.