To confront or not Confront

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#1 Oct 17 - 9AM
chickon2
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To confront or not Confront

I received a doozy of an email yday.. Forwarded from someone the narc knows..

THE LIES..................OMG ..

I mean I know, I have read that they do this..

BUT, I figured all was quiet it has been 2 months of NC WHY is he still talking about me...

I want to copy and paste it and put it here..

BUT some of it is in spanish..so I translated it in the parenthesis)

WHO THE FRIG IS LYING HERE? Him or his mom?

If my mom gets wind of these crazy people calling her some type of witch doctor she would flip her lid??

Do I just leave it?

confront?

B/c lord have mercy if I confront it won't be pretty..

I have never heard of such a thing, and this LIE is OUTRAGEOUS.......

amiga- te escribo para contarte algo... (friend I am writing you to tell you something)
sabes, que desde que el fiasco que hubo aqui en la casa con mami sobre chickon2(remember since the fiasco with my mom regarding chickon2?) las cosas han sido tensas,(things at home with mom have been tense) y mami me habia dicho que habia algo que ella no me habia contado todavia.(mom kept telling me there was something, that she had not told me yet)..hasta anoche(until last night)...sabes, me conto que cuendo regresamos del cruzero(she told me, that when we came back from the cruise), cuando ella fue a lavar toda la ropa sucia que yo traje de regreso.(when she went to wash my dirty clothes from the trip)..ella encontro un pantie amarrado enchumpado de un perfume fuerte (she found a lady underwear tied and drenched in perfume)! she immediately jumped back, and threw it behind the washer, and called my dad's cousin in fla. who's our spiritual guidance counselor...la familia de mi papa siempre ha practicado espiritismo limio(my fahter family's has always practiced spiritual type things). o 'de mesa' se le dice.("on the table" is how you describe it) anyhow, she told her what to do, without touchng it, to dispose of it outside the house, not sure if she had to go where there was water or somehting...whatever. she got rid of it...and since then she's been having this thorn inside she never told me, and last night she spilled it. i didn't utter a word. but i am so taken aback. it must of happened ( obviously ) when i was in the shower on the cruise, and she was getting ready. tu puedes creer eso ?!(do you believe that) i am so appauled. also, my mom had caught word that her mom wa sa santera, of whcih i never saw anything in that house, pero tu sabes que la gente tienen esas cosas ocultas en la casa.(but you never know those type of things are usually well hidden)..whatever. so, i have all these thoughts now, justfuying my break up, and thinking its for the better. wow. que shock mi hermana,(what a shock my sister) y yo que la defendia tanto de mi mama.(and to think that I always defended her to my mom) and my dad, who only told me ' get otu of that relationship' when i asked him for his opinion or view on it... damn...que vueltas da la vida.(damn what a turn life makes) dime, hermana, que te parece eso ?(tell me sister what do you think of all of this?) and me, who i haven't even given my mom a good night kiss since the break up 8/12. i have been distant. now i know why she was so extremely upset and unaccepting. moreso after we came back from the crusie 7/26. wow...
i await to read your response. you know i'll be better on email. i am going to 6p mass and maybe dancing tonight. maybe...

love,

EXN

Oct 19 - 6PM
chickon2
chickon2's picture

IT has a name!!!!!!!!!!

The smear Campaign.. YES I know you all know it.. I am getting there.. haha.. I feel like Christmas at this moment, because this making up lies and stuff is just another thing these jokers do.. This lets me take it not to heart as much.. I just need to get more info under my belt.. Then The NC is easier... (I hope)
Oct 18 - 8AM
chickon2
chickon2's picture

I re read

all of your comments. Thank you for taking the time.. You guys are all right.. I feel like a silent victim... I want to blow his ass out of the water... i hate this
Oct 18 - 2PM (Reply to #16)
Briseis
Briseis's picture

I know that feeling. I hate

I know that feeling. I hate it as much as you do. It is awful. The good thing is, time and NC takes care of it, all on it's own. When you got that FW email from your friend, it was like breaking NC. It threw you into a tailspin. It brought back all those feelings, thoughts and emotions. Do you see that now? Imagine your life in the next year where you hear NOTHING about the exN. Nothing whatsoever. You know he's alive because SOMEONE would have told you he died, but that's it. You know how "time heals". Your brain focuses on what's in front of it, that's how we work. Important day to day stuff comes to the front, pushes the N and his bullshit back a few places. The emotions and feelings get a bit dimmer. Then a few more days or weeks go by and those painful thoughts and feelings are even further back. The emotions are even dimmer. You find youself realizing you haven't thought about him all morning, not once!! Imagine going a whole DAY. Besides this, when you DO think of him, the emotions/impressions/pains are dimmer. They don't wrack you so much. They are weaker, and seem to pass away more easily as you focus on something else. You are no such THING as a silent victim. You are no longer his victim at all. What other people think about you because of what he says about you will someday make you LAUGH out loud. It will be that absurd. If I were you, I'd go around to friends who know him and ask them to PLEASE not send you emails or talk to you about him at all. That is called taking care of yourself. It's like washing your hands and avoiding sick people, so you don't catch a bug. When you break NC, even if someone else breaks it FOR you, it's like getting injected with viruses. Then you have to spend a few days being sick and then getting over it. That is SO unnecessary!! God knows you've been through enough.
Oct 18 - 4PM (Reply to #17)
chickon2
chickon2's picture

Don't want to catch a bug

I may have to print this out and keep it on my keyboard, and in the car.. For every time I want to email him or go to his job and take one of my panties and really do what he said I did, and put it on his desk, in front of everyone... I want to get to the point that I laugh out loud at his stupid lies.. I didn't even think reading that email from that person was breaking NC.. But as you have so wonderfully posted.. It was breaking it.. UGH.. I thought I was good with NC for 2 months...Yes it feels like getting injected with a virus.. It's an awful nightmare.. AND I really thought, that I was lucky thinking, I escaped the NWRC wrath.. I thought it ended in a "good note" His mom hated us together.. So we broke up.. after 3 "blissful" months. Guess he couldn't leave it at that, he had to make stuff ugly.. Is that b/c of self hatred? B/c I was so good to him, I guess he didn't think so.. Satuday night, thoughts of him in my head and that weird feeling in my gut were on overdrive.. Not loving thoughts just ick.. AND when I came home I read this voodoo email.. In a weird way I feel so drawn to him, I always feel like I may see him soon.. I hope I didn't will all that bad NARC energy on myself. So printing this out.. AND reading and re reading it.. Thank God Zumba classes tonight... Release some energy.. Thank you sooo much
Oct 18 - 9AM (Reply to #13)
michele115 (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Oye Chica...

Do no blow his ass out of the water...that could get you serious time. I'll tell you what to do... Slash ONLY THREE tires. If all four are slashed, Insurance will pay. Only three? He's SOL. LOL ;) (((((Hugs))))))
Oct 18 - 9AM (Reply to #14)
michele115 (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

By the way...

I'm joking on the tires...
Oct 18 - 11AM (Reply to #15)
chickon2
chickon2's picture

Michele115

Oh I laughed out loud.. With the insurance would pay.. DANG IT... I would have to take the pissed offness out on Working out then... total BS
Oct 17 - 6PM
chickon2
chickon2's picture

sorry

tried to put the translation to the spanish he wrote in parenthesis His mom told him that I drenched a pair of my undies in perfume and tied them in a ribbon and stuffed them into his pack of dirty clothes. When she took out his close to wash them (after we were on a 8 day cruise) she saw my underwear.. AND had to call a guy that un does spells.. SO that whatever spell I was trying to put on the EX N could be broken.. FIRST of all I would not waste my perfume on that.. 2nd of all what I didn't pack any ribbon and if I did this when he was in the shower... Wouldn't of he smelled the perfume? I didn't even pack or unpack his bag? didn't he see what he packed.. AND during the time of the cruise, I knew things were a bit rocky with his mom and I wouldn't shoot myself in the foot by doing anything weird like that.. AND most imortantly I never even heard of a spell, or any spell that has anything to do with soaking your underwear in perfume? what? and my mom is not a witch doctor, like his mom claimed ..Or maybe he just made the entire thing up.. I was ready to go to his job, and set him straight but 8 hours later.. I am going to leave it at that.. I found out tonight that he is flirting with one of my dance students that is married.. what? My stomach hurts, and I hate all of this.. AND I just wish i never met the scum
Oct 17 - 7PM (Reply to #11)
gettinbetter
gettinbetter's picture

oh this reminds me

of when the Narcs mom found some of my pantyhose at the Narcs and put them nicely in a brown paper bag for me. Who does that really who does that? and who does what your Narcs mother did. Well Ill tell ya! A Narc mother thats who. Im convinced my Narcs mother was a Narc. I always felt some kind of hateful undertone fromt he Narcs mother though I couldnt put my finger on it. So really he never had a chance. He was adopted (abandoned by the birth mother) and adopted by a Narc.
Oct 17 - 3PM
Briseis
Briseis's picture

Can you just translate it?

And I agree with the others. Don't go there, don't bother. Besides, he didn't write it to YOU. In a way . . . it's none of your business. I say that without judgment, BTW. But really. The letter was intended for someone else, not you, so . . . You are just seeing for yourself that Narcs never quit spinning their webs. And like I've said a hundred times, a Narc gets supply from you even when you tell him to go to Hell :) He'll eat up your confrontation no matter how scathing it is. He'll "enjoy" it, he'll love the attention. It debases you to confront him, knowing what he'll DO with it, you know?
Oct 17 - 3PM (Reply to #8)
Briseis
Briseis's picture

Oh and BTW

Your friend is not helping you by FW his emails to you. She probably doesn't realize that it is a form of breaking NC for you, that it causes you to become preoccupied with him and take steps backward away from focusing on yourself. Maybe a little explanation to your friend will clear this matter up :)
Oct 17 - 4PM (Reply to #9)
gettinbetter
gettinbetter's picture

I just wanna know about the

I just wanna know about the underwear drenched in perfume LOL!
Oct 17 - 12PM
ewa
ewa's picture

Do not confront him. From my

Do not confront him. From my experience it never helped.
Oct 17 - 11AM
gettinbetter
gettinbetter's picture

Ok Im lost

Can you summarize for me? Maybe all the spanish mixed in has confused me
Oct 17 - 4PM (Reply to #5)
blueeyes
blueeyes's picture

Senorita- ?

Translate the spanish or maybe delete it cuz, I got nuthin. :) Sounds to me that ur N is living w his mom and she is religious, found some smelly girlie panties and possibly you were on a cruise w him? Whew. Plus, wth is ur friend feeding you his emails?
Oct 17 - 12PM (Reply to #2)
MsVulcan500
MsVulcan500's picture

Thanks, Sick of it

I was lost too! I read it 3 times and still didn't understand what the lie was. I was starting to think I was losing reading comprehension skills. :) But regardless, I say DO NOT CONFRONT!! Let it go, you don't care what he thinks of you or what he is saying about you. The truth always comes out in the end.
Oct 17 - 12PM (Reply to #3)
Used
Used's picture

didnt understand

it was too difficult to read, but even so why bother confronting him nothing can be gained..
Oct 17 - 1PM (Reply to #4)
Alive
Alive's picture

but

as i already know ladies it's SO HARD not to. I think i would have to say, LEAVE IT ALONE, let it be, there will be an answer (as Paul Mcartney sang). WHen your answer appears you might feel so much better that you never responded to this smear campaign of his. Leave him to himself.