Coming back..............

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#1 Feb 9 - 7PM
rache
rache's picture

Coming back..............

Well,as you all know i went NC and in a weak moment answered the cell.Where,he proceeded to try to lure me in to phone sex,coming back to him,then,when i told him no to the phone sex(i also told him i should get a 1-800# at least i'd freaking get money for it!)he demanded his go-phone back,cut it off to where i couldn't call him to say hey! i ain't using MY money to mail the damn thing,so,i got pissed,broke it with my hands,drowned the battery in the toilet...((snickers)),well.....that was last Wednesday.I have bdeen NC evder since.Kids dad had refused to change his cell or kids.I did have house phone changed.Well,kids dad had been getting calls and hangups from restricted #.Today,my teenage daughter gets a call from .........you guessed it! The N.she told him mom mailed back your phone(lol)-per your request,and,we are not your answering service,then hangs up.He called 3-4 more times and she did not answer.He left a message that went-Rache,i love you more than any other woman,that,i thought i loved,and,i will NOT let go of you!!!!!!!!!!This is from a guy that gets on dating sites and even let a woman answer the phone when i called him.So,yeah,they crawl back........

Feb 9 - 7PM
cynthia (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

L O V E

They are empty words, now watch his actions back up what he says, LOL ya right, now go on porn, cheat, lie, and tell me again how much you love me. Funny how they talk so much about love when they are unable to isnt it? Lets see L is for Lie O is for Others I screw V is for their Victims E is for how Easy they can act They should just get on stage and sing the following: "[L] is for the way you look at me, [O] is for the only one I see, [V] is very, very extraordinary [E] is even more than anyone that you adore. Love is all That I can give to you Love is more Than just a game for two Two in love can make it Take my heart And please don't break it Love was made For me and you"
Feb 10 - 7PM (Reply to #14)
lili124
lili124's picture

So true Cynthia. Narcs only

So true Cynthia. Narcs only love themselves and I believe cannot be in any healthy relationship because of their disorder. I have been NC for almost six weeks and I feel like I am getting my life back on track. Thanks for everyone who posts here.
Feb 10 - 7PM (Reply to #15)
cynthia (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

yes

They can fake a healthy relationship with the partner and what it appears to others as, but behind the scenes they are doing abuse and damage. But they always frustrate their partners and they are never happy, the partners always want more because they are with an empty person who cant feel emotions. I am glad you feel better with NC, you didnt walk away from love, always remember that
Feb 10 - 10PM (Reply to #16)
Amy T
Amy T's picture

Going No Contact

That's great going NC, it's got to bring so much peace! I know I could do that if I didn't have kids, if I never saw him again it wouldn't bother me. How do you minimize contact when you have teenagers?
Feb 10 - 11PM (Reply to #18)
itreallyisabouthim
itreallyisabouthim's picture

Seems like it would be

Seems like it would be easier with teenagers. Someone say it's easier with teenagers! (whimper) Ours are young and I need to know it gets easier.
Feb 10 - 11PM (Reply to #17)
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Amy T.

keep it BUSINESS ONLY NO EMOTIONAL CONTENT NO TAKING THE BAIT you act "as if he was dead" and ask him for nothing... my kids are tweens and they have their dad all figured out... ~~~~~~~~~ The truth will set you free... but first it will piss you off - Gloria Steinem Visit My Abuse Website
Feb 10 - 7PM (Reply to #13)
lili124
lili124's picture

So true Cynthia. Narcs only

So true Cynthia. Narcs only love themselves and I believe cannot be in any healthy relationship because of their disorder. I have been NC for almost six weeks and I feel like I am getting my life back on track. Thanks for everyone who posts here.
Feb 9 - 8PM (Reply to #10)
rache
rache's picture

cynthia

The costume they could wear is a cupid((valentines day)with a mirror for a microphone then sing....everyone look at me i'm as pretty as can be,noone else pleases me,no not one,two or three...i'm so much thzan you bargained for,thats why i need a madonna, and, a whore-you two alone are such a bore,for it is i that i truely adore! Shall i sing it to you once more? LMAO
Feb 10 - 7PM (Reply to #11)
itreallyisabouthim
itreallyisabouthim's picture

LOL at the vision of the

LOL at the vision of the cupid karaoke!
Feb 11 - 8AM (Reply to #12)
rache
rache's picture

HARHARHAR

My ex N in a tootoo....lol
Feb 9 - 8PM (Reply to #2)
Amazed
Amazed's picture

What makes me sick

What makes me sick is how readily some woman take back an N relationship. They are given all the facts. You give the pictures.. Texts they have sent other woman, it registers they are no good guy at all, in fact, they are criminal, and will destroy you. Yet, woman take them back. The "informed"woman, after learning and exposing them, takes them back, because of the illusion. So sad. You just feel for a criminal. You want xyz, go get it!! You will not find it in the N. Love is the real attraction. If you are not attracted to love, examine yourself. There could be something in yourself that is making you a victim, and you will never be free of it.
Feb 9 - 9PM (Reply to #4)
cynthia (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Interesting

Love is the real attraction. If you are not attracted to love, examine yourself. There could be something in yourself that is making you a victim, and you will never be free of it. WOW WOW WOW, I want to respond to that post on physical attraction thinking its love. I have felt this way a long time Amazed I need to examine myself if I think what I had with my sociopath was love on my part, we know he cant love. Sometimes It feels like I am having a battle with myself in letting go of the illusion vs letting go of this man. I think there is something within myself that keeps me a victim. We have the power to remove ourselves from that position and if I felt right about myself it should be a no brainer, I wont say it wont hurt because of the level of betrayal done to us but as you said we have the facts, we see the behavior we see how they destroy people yet we go back and find it hard to extract ourselves from someone who is nothing but a criminal. There is the RED FLAG for me, that should tell me something within myself that I need to get rid of in order to be free of, when I am free of it then I can extract myself from disordered individuals without any questions or doubts. Of course there is brainwashing and deprogramming with these individuals but even after the fact knowing I was manipulated and brainwashed and took steps to deprogram still that temptation to get sucked back in again so easily. Very good comments you brought up, the answers and breaking free is within myself
Feb 9 - 10PM (Reply to #8)
Kelly
Kelly's picture

I have this posted up near my computer

"You must accept yourself as you are, instead of you as you would like to be, which means giving up self-deception and wishful thinking." I'm pretty sure every single narc/psycho/abuser I have dated did a good job of playing to my desires, learning my insecurities and playing as though he appreciated me even more for the things I was insecure about. Pretending to absolutely adore me. Oh, and they do select stories to tell to make you think they are being vulnerable with you, but if you ask them a question, they are evasive. Sucks, because I'm pretty sure the good guys do the same thing, except they aren't pretending. I've read everything about manipulation tactics and I think I can make better choices because of what I'm learning, but it seriously kills the "romance." I don't think I'll ever be capable of falling that hard again.
Feb 9 - 10PM (Reply to #9)
rache
rache's picture

well,i'm

not to happy that i am on ssi due to what i now know is severe ptsd which started in childhood because of emotional/mental/physical abuse=was told it was not unlike a soldier who could not trust his own platoon.And,being 53 i do not feel at all marketable,as,what good man would accept me like this....sheesh,lol,and,i know i had ocd as a young girl=use to sit and wring my hands constantly,then,washed them a lot! i think i out growed it though.
Feb 9 - 9PM (Reply to #5)
rache
rache's picture

YES,BuT.................

HOW do we do it?How do we recognize what it is?I have no freaking idea or i'd be doin it asap,as in ,years ago!
Feb 10 - 12AM (Reply to #6)
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Spotting a Dangerous Man

a great place to start is HOW TO SPOT A DANGEROUS MAN by Sandra Brown, MA you can get it here: https://www.e-junkie.com/ecom/gb.php?ii=136236&c=cart&aff=21165&ejc=2 ~~~~~~~~~ The truth will set you free... but first it will piss you off - Gloria Steinem Visit My Abuse Website
Feb 10 - 7AM (Reply to #7)
rache
rache's picture

i've been able to spot them,but

I keep falling for them.i had him pegged the first week after we got married and evenn before,but,i kept excusing his behavior.I hate/hated myself for this-second guessing myself.Its as though i have taught to ignore MY FEELINGS/wants/hopes and dreams and maybe THIS is where i need to look-why do i keep thinking i need to do this.
Feb 9 - 8PM (Reply to #3)
rache
rache's picture

thats true

an N doesn't ever love anyone but themselves,and,my ex sociopath /narcissist is just coming back because evidently he see's its harder for an almost 67 year old pathological to fool /and groom, another supply source.I had already been groomed by the best-my mother.And a socio/psychopath dad.BUT,i also loathed serving them without any gratitude=not even feeding me when i was hungry.....grrrrrrrrrrrowls.