Cognitive Dissonance on steroids:)

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#1 May 1 - 2PM
BlueMist
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Cognitive Dissonance on steroids:)

Ok guys,this is some funny sh** I found on a site about soulmates (aham :)) .
I think this describes pretty accurately what you feel when going through cognitive-dissonance.Enjoy :)

So you see, your Narc brought you not only pain :)))

1 You will find yourself, feeling like you have gone insane one day ( you might as well be communing, with pixies at the bottom of the garden and playing bass guitar with them, probably to a cheesy love ballad because signs are like everywhere) and searching Google, obsessively for explanations of what the # is happening to you

2 As a result of point 1, you will find, 9000 sites discussing this in great detail including irritating/ maddening/ and damn right alienating references to "our mission for god" "the work"(can't we just have the hallmark version like it was for like a short while) " the growth required" and holier than thou types, talking about the importance, of learning, unconditional love, like they invented the term personally, you will also notice a disturbing amount of images of pink hearts(beware they bite and are extremely dangerous if fraternised with) and on occasion a couple in a white karate outfit embracing to a setting sun, this particular image may make you feel a tad sick, given you feel like you have now entered into the realm of the certifiably insane, don't worry, you will feel like a complete loon, the following week and it gets better, trust me, the following week, you will feel like you are flying with the angels but not sure who is who, weren't their 4 in the original Saturday morning TV show, they wore spandex right ??

3 Every song, that talks of love, will suddenly make you cry like an acid loaded opera singer, on his final note (except the Carpenters and maybe a few other criminally naff, pieces, of music, these will just incense you to rage at the banality of the songs, but then again, I have an unnatural fear of Sade- Love is King and a certain curly blonde in a blue dresses and white shoes)
play me that song and it's so Justin Timberlake all over again

This song is evil, although I can go like Justin to it, and still feel like I am getting nowhere

4 You won't know who you are anymore, one minute, I feel fine, the next minute, I am crying but where did it come from( #ed if I know) is it her, is it him, is it me, what the # is it

It could be

A being awed with the tender profundity of your love and touching the god bliss of your beautiful/peachy soul, it's really awesome honestly, destiny organised this, so, knuckle down and pay attention, cuz the universe loves you and wants you to lose your job, take tablets and binge drink, start smoking again/etc because hey, you dope, you chose it (when you was in the stratosphere and we were cuddly balls of light, who had done this, 56 times previously and still didn't quite grasp it), be superhuman, that is the point of all this, to become like Clark Kent in a meditation garment(preferably white or maybe grey if the stores don't sell white)

B all the pain, man the pain, some were in nam, some had soul connections, I know nam was worse, but man, can I go to nam, now, at least that way I can run ( I must apologise to all who went to nam, of course nam was worse but hey, this is kinda bizarre anyway, though I don't see helicopters or smell napalm but I feel strange explosions of electricity and energy within, does that count ?)

C the overwhelming love of your inner Christmas tree, that is all lit up with light and feeling like you just got moved by your beloved except she is now as terrified of you as you are of her, despite the fact her soul cuddles you before you go to sleep (it also kisses your lips and holds your hand, but when you see, her, it's like a mixture of, a rom com and a psychological horror movie) but you want logic and scientific rigour, go to Stephen Hawking, you want the truth of what is really going on, go to Steve Gunn, you may not like it, but he is real(he won't tell you what you want to hear, but may confirm what you already sensed, but concluded you imagined it), and he is wise in the ways of the force, you will feel like Luke in empire, lost and in the cave, remembering your failure, no god awful child actor Anakin in sight)

5 The karma, is how, do you say, like queuing up in a supermarket and constantly waiting to be served, and it never happens, because the checkout girl is too doped on Valium, to notice, she like you is like going round in circles, kinda fixated

6 Alcohol, tobacco, big pharma, chocolate, ice cream are all suddenly really sexy and you can't get enough of at least 2-3 of them

7 Despite knowing joy and peace on off throughout your life( hot air ballons, line dancing, singing Take That on Karaoke) you will suddenly find a profound dissatisfaction with your job ( is that difficult if you work anywhere full of zombies who have no understanding of you, cuz we all live in our own little world ) and your life in general as your soul connection highlights the complete absurd lack of meaning up until this point (yes, you have been seeking it all along but it just ended in lonely joy at how awesome it is to be like a big shiny black hole in your own company), suddenly tending to those who hear voices loses any vestige of meaning it ever had(clue: it felt pretty #ing meaningless anyways but now it is on super charged turbo bass and they suddenly irritate the hell out of you with their suffering, help, I am tired off feeding everyone else, like Tinkerbell, I am a tired fairy) you will find yourself popping off to certain locations in the profound hope you could simply bump into this person so you could discuss knitwear, kettles and the highlights of teletext listings

8 You will discover the profound importance of hitting your head repeatedly against a brick wall of reinforced concrete, as you go round and round in circles in your head and the energies spin you around like a pretty carousel on a fairground, I don't care, I do care, I don't know, oh I care again, look, a radio, run, it's playing a love song, my god, it's Sade, give me a flamethrower, oh look a blonde, is that her, is that her, is she wearing Blue, man, no , not again, I am done, no I am not, yes I am, no I am not, man, I love her, but I can't be with her, because I haven't done the work( hint: it was set by this madam destiny cow, who loves you and wants you to be happy, but it's gonna take 20 years of the above before you truly get there, so man, you better be patient)

9 If your boss, mentions love, your inner opera singer, has a field day, if someone says love on the telly, it's Niagra falls all over again, movies to avoid in the next 20 years include any film starring, Julia Roberts, Jenifer Aniston, Jenifer Garner, Meg Ryan, ( she retired from this since she her soul connection did a runner) and Love and other drugs: do not watch this movie, under any circumstances: it will finish you off. Apart from being the most vivid, recreation of a sinking ship, you have ever seen, you now understand that the love story in Titanic, was not as trite as it originally appeared: why: because the reason, Jack and Rose fell in love, did some painting (Monet's use of colour not included) and made love in 3 days flat was because they had, a soul connection and neither had the chance to run, because that ship was like sinking, If Jack had lived, he would have run away from Rose, after they docked in New York and Rose, would have been looking for a 19th century Steve Gunn to understand why she was flipping and the cords, were going nuts: that is why the title song, was called My Heart Will Go On: she was singing about the heart tug (hey, she saw him in dreams too)

10 When you are not walking around in a daze, you are walking round, feeling, like you are cloaked by the warmth of someone else’s, soul, except when they're angry( it's like the Hulk on steroids, man do you feel it). you notice a strange sensation of having 3 miniature locomotive invisible trains going back and forth, to your gut, your heart and your third eye and they sometimes travel very fast and in a panic (if you have cut off contact to protect your self) towards you and away from you, sometimes you get very excited at this, and repeat point 8, switch on the pc and post 100 times in 2 hours about, how it all means something, and how you are now closer to something that has never been further away

1 Radios at work, must be destroyed, for they are dangerous things. In 20 seconds flat, you have to keep, turning around and not facing your colleagues while the latest, love song, losen that waterfall

12 When you're not being haunted by killer radios from planet Love, madam destiny cunning disregard does not relent, you compose yourself and say, I don't love her, I don't care and then turn your head to find her name on a magazine cover and it's tiny tears time once more, you come home from work, wondering why Madona singing about, two strangers, coming together as one, happens to be playing on the cab drivers radio( hey, she referenced strangers, making the most of the dark, hint: a dance floor is dark) you walk into your parents front room, to find the TV show, your Father is watching, is talking about Alison and to add insult to injury, he says it 3 times, it all feels like some strange coincidence, or barmy conspiracy, that you keep on intersecting with magazine covers, TV shows and even old men on the bus who mention her name, what the # is going on here

13 Pizza, Chicken, Wings and Chips tempt you at every turn and the will to cook, is suddenly overtaken with a zealous desire to sate your soul with more junk food than the contents of a food court

14 As you ride the awesome wave of soul connection chaos, be prepared for the profound (really profound, Einstein has got nothing on this) comprehension deficit in those around you(you will feel like ET in ET, feeling like no one quite understands and that even Elliot does not understand(despite being connected to E.T in, like a similar way, man) when you talk of the cords, before you use speak and spell again to contact your soul connection ( you may go white and feel sick too, just like ET did and don't even get me started on John Williams Soul Connection theme)

no wonder, it took ET so long to make contact, they were like in total runner mode and you now understand why they took, off without him at the beginning, all those issues of trauma from battles on Zog brought to the surface by their connections love of innocent plants) They will look at you, like you escaped a ward of some kind ( hint: not for broken legs)

They will search their glowing internal life dictionary for similar and ascribe your experiences as something, they can identify with, despite having no blank clue what the blank you are talking about. They will regard you with a kind reassuring expression and say it is

A unrequited love (why does she keep on staring at me, then dude, like she feels something but can't say it, anymore than I can)

B your imagination (I am just not that bright, trust me, I no longer consume washing up powder for breakfast, so don't get the creative surge I use to)

C none of the above (ok , it's anomalous, I agree, could we get Unsolved Mysteries to do, a reconstruction, and CGI the cords, tugs and soul kisses and have a man with beard,stroke it thoughtfully and conclude he has it solved)

and advise you to

A move on ( like, wow, that easy, man wish I had thought of that all by myself, like a year ago, thanks, Sherlock, you solved my dilemma, I can rest easy now)

B take up a new hobby like, white water rafting to let go( just get an oar and go for broke and it's like over)

In the meantime, you will discuss, it with a doc as you resort to big pharma to keep a job, you now loathe more than ever, and with all the imagination, typical of NHS doctors and their capacity for understanding the complex and majestic, maddening beauty of the universe, they will look at you like a drugged up carrier pigeon, with a poor sense of direction

whatever you do, don't speak to a local NHS councillor and attempt to make them understand: they will just regurgitate banal, bland,101 middle class counselling rot about

A finding a new hobby (like white water rafting, but different)
B moving forward
C working for a charity shop in your spare time to feel more worthwhile

they may appear like a smug bleeding heart liberal who just solved another existential crisis in 45 minutes, but with added, " you are totally barking" expression

15 At times you will feel like you are in X men, as your soul connection (Narc - my note) blasts you with beams, hooks and shape shifts in front of you (she even glowed once, like Dark Phoenix), suddenly it dawns on you that Professor Charles Xavier, runs a school for soul connections, separated from their beloved and understands the heart tug better than anybody (except Steve Gunn) ( that's why Cyclops was good with his third eye, he like totally knew man and had the skinny on what was going down)

Blue :)