Closure

So lots N's lots of thoughts have been going thru my head and I need to clear them on here so I don't contact him.

When we were first together everything was perfect at the start ... U know the whole fairy tale. Then he found out I was still in contact with my ex ( who lives in another country and we are mates) .... So the exN asks me I tell him when we are in contact. I did the wrong thing and didn't tell him and he found out. ( I actually don't think it was any of his business who I was friends with and he had no right to tell me what to do...... Red flag .... I know now)
So from then on he didn't trust me And no matter what I did he always always brought it back Up the fact I lied and he couldn't get over it.
I ended up telling my ex who was a good friend at the time that he couldn't ever contact me again because it was causing me problems in my current relationship ... Which I now regret enormously.
Anyway this still wasn't enough for the n who always blamed me for everything in the relationship and justified all his actions all the bad ones on one incident early on in our relationship. We were together for another 2 years after this.

What I want to know is.... Would things have been different with him if I hadn't of gotten on his bad side? Or is this something they do? Just find anything to start placing the blame on?

I mean in a normal relationship if the trust is broken don't u work on it together And if u can't get over it you end the relationship?? Not carry on then use it as leverage in any argument? That's not normal is it?
Part of me feels like I was to blame for the relationship going bad cause he's made me feel like that..... But I it wasn't this it would of been something else wouldn't it??