Can't stop crying

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#1 Jun 25 - 5PM
malloryforest
malloryforest's picture

Can't stop crying

I don't understand why I am reacting this way, but I can't stop crying. I am crying because now that STBXNH lost his job, he lost everything. He lost our house, it is up for sale, his wife, his kids, his job....everything!!! The part of me that loves him is just overwhelmed with sadness for him. I mean, maybe he doesn't see any of this as a loss because he still has his GF, but if I were in his shoes, I would be so lost.

It is funny, I think back over the last couple of years, and the moment he kissed this other woman, his life has completely unraveled. I guess it is considered a loss if you put importance on wife, kids, house, friends, job. All they have now is eachother!

It is like the alcoholic who can't stop drinking. He looses his wife, his kids, his job, his house, and he still keeps drinking. He still can't see that it is the alcohol that has caused him to loose everything. He clings to his alcohol like it is the support instead of realizing that it is his demise.

STBXNH and GF have lost so much for their "true love." It just feels so pathetic and sick. I just am astonished at the destruction the two of these sick people have caused, and the two of them have both lost the most.

Jun 26 - 2AM
Lisa E. Scott
Lisa E. Scott's picture

Mallory

I'm sorry you are feeling so overwhelmed and scared right now. It's understandable. Let your feelings out. I believe crying can be cathartic. More importantly, I couldn't agree more with Mariline's post. Print that out and keep it near you so you never forget it!
Jun 26 - 2AM
Lisa E. Scott
Lisa E. Scott's picture

Mallory

I'm sorry you are feeling so overwhelmed and scared right now. It's understandable. Let your feelings out. I believe crying can be cathartic. More importantly, I couldn't agree more with Mariline's post. Print that out and keep it near you so you never forget it!
Jun 25 - 8PM
quietude (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

mallory

Aww, I'm hope you're feeling better hon! You are so much better than those pathetic losers who will wind up in the gutter for sure!
Jun 25 - 6PM
neveragain
neveragain's picture

Crying Releases Endorphins!

((((((Mallory)))))! Hugs to you and here's a cyber-tissue....well, maybe you'll need more than one. I always need several when I let the flood gates go. But, it can be a healing-crying and a way of releasing your hurt, disappointment and anger. You are going through a LOT and it's okay to feel so upset. That being said, it's also important to not allow what HE's done to spin YOU out of control. Do NOT give him that power. You are going to cope with this and you are going to come out of it okay....HE isn't. You have a good head on your shoulders and a whole network of support and resources. HE doesn't. Hang in there and cry if you need to. The endorphins in your brain that get released from crying will actually help you feel better.
Jun 25 - 5PM
RenewD
RenewD's picture

Mallory

Do you think he shed one REAL tear over you and losing his kids? He may have done it as a way to manipulate but...his actions haven't followed through with any kind of admission of his making a mistake. Don't shed another tear over him!! He's not worth your energy. If HE doesn't even see how screwed up his life is, why should YOU worry. And...GF is not his one true love. She just is for now. As soon as his guard is down and he starts being himself, she'll wake up...and leave him or be stuck dealing with him. Not your problem, you have better things to do...like love your kids, and yourself. THEY subscribed to this karma...don't YOU carry the burden for them! ~Denise~
Jun 25 - 6PM (Reply to #2)
Mariline
Mariline's picture

I do not know if you have

I do not know if you have already read this....but I put it here the same. http://knittingattheguillotine.blogspot.com/ You've Joined the Adulterers Club! Married means married, you moron It‘s getting to the point where I can‘t even read those stupid personal ads anymore, not even for fun. They‘re loaded with married people, bitching about their spouses, and looking for something "better". I‘ve got a few things to tell you: 1. "She" is not the reason your marriage sucks. YOU are. If you spent half as much time paying attention to her as you do trolling for sluts, your marriage would be a whole hell of a lot better. 2. Yeah, yeah, we‘ve all heard it a thousand times. You‘re in a sexless marriage. First of all, that‘s probably a lie, because most cheaters are liars too. I‘m going to let you in on a little secret, pal- if your wife isn‘t interested in sex, it‘s because you‘re not offering sex that‘s interesting. Married guys get awfully boring after a while. They do the same boring thing the same boring way every fucking time and they expect you to scream like a porn star. Seriously, you come home from work, totally ignore her while she chases the kids around for 4 hours, makes dinner, does the laundry, blah blah blah, and then you expect her to roll over with her legs open for another session of same-old same-old? When are you idiots going to learn that the best foreplay in the world for a woman is watching you take care of the kids, vacuum the floor, pick up the dog poo in the backyard. Or how about just listening when she talks? You know, it‘s not that fucking hard to stop thinking about yourself for five minutes and hear what she has to say. Think about it- way back when, when you were getting your brains fucked out on a regular basis- what were YOU doing differently than you‘re doing now? Planning dates, telling her she looked nice, acting like you‘re happy to be with her? A thousand dollars says if you do that stuff again you‘ll get the same result. 3. Your kids are NOT the reason you‘re staying married. If you were THAT miserable, you‘d leave whether you had kids or not. If you‘re not getting a divorce it‘s because YOU DON‘T WANT TO. For whatever reason. At least be honest and don‘t try to feed people that tired bullshit line about staying married for the kids. Contrary to what you think, it doesn‘t make you look like a poor suffering but honourable victim. You obviously don‘t care enough about your kids to treat their mother with enough respect not to cheat on her, and you don‘t care about them enough to spend time with THEM instead of some cheap whore, so cut it out with that crap. There is absolutely nothing honourable about putting your dick ahead of your kids. If you really really cared about them, you would put ALL your time and effort and money into saving the one thing that means most to them in the whole world- your marriage and their family. Otherwise you‘re full of shit. 4. We all know how bored you are. Poor you, someone should really come along to entertain you. What are you, fucking twelve years old? If you‘re bored with your marriage, it‘s because YOU‘RE BORING, and have you ever stopped to think that if you‘re bored, she probably is too. But instead of throwing a temper tantrum like a 2 year old, she‘s at home cleaning out the lint trap on the dryer and washing kool-aid off the kitchen floor. Yeah, she‘s having a fucking riot washing your underwear and cleaning up cat puke. Marriage is hard work. Hell, life is hard work. Grow the fuck up and take some responsibility for yourself. You have a brain, USE it. Put some thought into your marriage and some effort into your life and stop blaming her and being a baby because life isn‘t fun. 5. You‘re looking for someone "younger". Sure you are. Dickhead. You think you look the same as you did when you got married? I‘d bet not. Even if you do, you haven‘t spent the last 10 years having babies (the ones YOU wanted) and sacrificing your body for them. The next time you have to have someone stitch your asshole together because you just pushed a watermelon out of your butt, then you can squawk. If you ever spend 9 months with your belly stretched to obscene proportions, and manage to look exactly the same as you used to 6 weeks later, then you can bitch about how she‘s not attractive anymore. Until then, shut the fuck up. You have no concept of what she has sacrificed to give you the children you claim to love. You really think she wants varicose veins and stretch marks and saggy boobs? Get real. What she wants is a man who understands and values WHY she has varicose veins and stretch marks and saggy boobs. She wants a man who loves her because she was willing to make those sacrifices with her own body because she loves HIM. Instead, you criticize and go running off with the first perky 25 year old who gives you the time of day. Asshole. 6. And finally, if you‘re cheating on your wife, there‘s something wrong with YOU. If you‘re not happy with your marriage, exactly how do you think fucking some slut is going to fix that? Exactly how is that going to make anyone happy? Have you ever actually heard of adultery working out really well for everyone involved? Are you actually stupid enough to think that you‘re going to be the exception to that rule? If so, you are delusional and you need professional help. Affairs are disasters- not some of the time, not most of the time, ALL OF THE TIME. You guilt will drive you crazy. Someone WILL find out. You will NOT be able to keep up the lies and the deception. And it will all lead up to a disaster of epic proportions, which leads me to Lucky #7. 7. Here‘s what you can expect in the wake of your little fuck-fest: Divorce - this is where you lose everything- your wife, your house, half your income and possessions, possibly your job if you‘re stupid enough to be fucking around with a co-worker, your kids- EVERYTHING. You will LOSE IT ALL. Exposure - this is where everyone finds out what a scumbag you are. And they WILL find out. Your boss, your co-workers, your friends, your family, HER family, your neighbours, the parents of your kids‘ friends, everyone at your church. They WILL find out. Why? Because your now ex-wife will tell them. She will probably tell everyone she knows, and everyone you know and she will feel good doing it. Consider yourself lucky if she doesn‘t rent a billboard. Otherwise, all bets are off. Be prepared. Your Kids - this is where you totally lose the respect of your kids, and you deserve to lose it. They will realize in pretty short order that you didn‘t care enough about them to keep your fucking pants on. They will see their mother cry and they will hate you for it. They will end up shuttling back and forth between their home and your apartment, and they will hate you for it. Every time they have to tell someone that their parents are divorced, they will hate you for it. And God forbid you decide to "introduce" them to your shiny new soulmate/fuckbuddy, they will REALLY hate you for that. If your kids are really young, you have a little time before all this shit hits the fan, but be warned, it‘s coming. They will forever see you as the moron who broke up their family. They will know that you can‘t be trusted, that you are weak and immoral and selfish. And they‘ll figure it out all by themselves, even if you never talk to them about it. Because your kids are smarter than you are at this point. So, go ahead and whine your pathetic bullshit about how you‘re a victim and your wife is a horrible shrew. Do your best to convince yourself that you didn‘t have any choice and your wife "drove you to it." Start with the rationalizations and justifications now, you‘re going to need a lot of them. Remember that the best defence is a good offence and start a mental list of all the ways your wife is deficient. Make sure to re-write the history of your marriage so that you can say that you were miserable from the first day. Be sure to tell your wife that you love her, you‘re just not "in love" with her anymore. Deal with your guilt by lashing out at everyone around you. Above all, take no responsibility for any problems YOU may have that caused you to be such a spineless bastard in the first place. Congratulations, you‘ve just joined the Adulterers Club. Remember: Safe People are people who draw you closer to who you were meant to be spiritually, emotionally, mentally and physically. They encourage you to be your most loving, growing self. (Emotional Abusers- Heartless Bitches International)
Jun 25 - 7PM (Reply to #5)
malloryforest
malloryforest's picture

mariline

This article was priceless. Thank you. No longer crying for his sorry ass.
Jun 25 - 7PM (Reply to #3)
grossot
grossot's picture

Mariline

Oh my! This is awesome! Everything I want to say to him but can't b/c I'd be bitter and jeolous and crazy! Oh wait! He already says that about me and I've not done anything wrong! Be kinder than necessary to everyone you meet; for everyone is fighting some kind of battle - anonymous- :o) nolongercontrolled
Jun 25 - 8PM (Reply to #4)
quietude (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

telling off

grossot - I know what you mean...I would LOVE to tell mine off, but haven't. It's much more interesting thinking about him sitting there scratching his head wondering why I'm ignoring him. I'm sure he's made a story up in his twisted little mind. And I'm sure I'm the wicked ungrateful witch in the story!