The Cake Trap

Imagine sitting at the table with two plates of food. One is a beautiful chocolate cake, covered in a delicious chocolate fudge frosting; the other is a plate of steamed broccoli. Your job is to pick one plate to eat. Chocolate cake is awesome. It tastes great, gives you a rush of sugary goodness and can almost make you feel loved. There is nothing better than chocolate cake....for the ten minutes you're eating it. After that, especially if you're trying to eat healthily, the chocolate cake that you loved so much turns on you. You feel depressed as the sugar leaves your system. Crawling under your desk and taking a nap sounds nice. You realized that you and chocolate cake have no long-term future together because the cake will increase your weight and give you cavities. The cake might even cheat on you by getting eaten by someone else. You feel vaguely guilty and confused about why you still want chocolate cake even though and know it's bad for you.
On the other hand, had you eaten the broccoli, it would have been a much different story. You wouldn't have gotten the big rush a the beginning, but you would have been OK - broccoli isn't tht bad. Twenty minutes later, you would have felt good, healthy, positive about your eating choices, and there would have been no sugar crash. The bottom line is the better choice.... and the next time you are given the choice you will still eat the chocolate cake.

Quoted from: The Narcissism Epidemin written by Jean M. Twenge and W. Keith Campbell.

This same pattern holds true in many relationships with narcissists. In the beginning with a narcissist, there is a rush of excitement,charm,and plenty of attention(this is chocolate cake). On the other hand, we think the normal, steady, consistent, and dependable non-narcissist (brocoli)is just a bit too boring. So we keep choosing chocolate cake. NO MORE CHOCOLATE CAKE FOR ME!