broken

I am in need of support again. I am so lonely. I don't miss exn but I miss the distraction from my own mess. It's like there are two of me. One full of hope and promise and one full of anger and defeat. How do I keep on fighting? I'm really exhausted. I try to fill my time with purposeful things then all of a sudden, it's why bother. If I pretend everything is ok I feel like I'm causing more harm than good. I am not looking for a pity party. I just need away over what I hope is a hump. Thanks for listening. Xoxo BtrflyGrl