Breaking contact

I'm in the same boat as you. I wanted to see if I would just get a response and I did. But being the stubborn person I am I didn't stop there- so stupid!!! I just had a massive breaking point, I'm throwing myself an AMAZING PITY PARTY right now- it's almost over though, as I don't have tears left. But I'm sure it's a mixture of life, not just this jackass. But no matter what the reason for breaking NC, it's not worth it- it'll make you feel like crap, even if you get your validation, even if he called you right now and said "I'm sorry for past 12 years of your life, I wish I could fix it and turn back time" it wouldn't make you feel better, it would somehow make you feel like shit and blame yourself- it's what they do, somehow, even if they're just saying "hi" It's hard- but you have to keep at it- I know I do- Its only been day 1 because I started and broke it because of something stupid he said- I know I let him win- but we have to not allow ourselves to fall into their traps :) GOOD LUCK and BE STRONG!!!

You've already answered your own question. Learn to trust your inner wisdom. You will be successful in staying NC because you realize how very pointless it is to go back. In time, you will have the validation you seek...just know that you will be providing it to yourself, and that it will never come from him, as you already realize. In the meantine, stay strong, and stay here on this forum! Ramble as much as you need to...I know all of us here can understand that...and come here when you are having a rough moment and feel you have no where else to turn. These Ns mess with our minds so much that we cannot explain what we've endured, to someone that has not been through what we've experienced. To attempt to explain it to someone who has not had a run in with an N, is confusing and anxiety-provoking at best, because we realize none of what we've been through really makes sense, and attempting to "explain" it, only makes it seem more crazy. The N relies on that guilty secret you keep on their behalf, they rely on that lack of support, that lack of perspective and insight into their abuse of us. This is a safe place to work it out, until you find yourself at the point where you can trust and validate your own feelings and will no longer feel so attached to the N. Stay the course...stay NC! It will get increasingly easier over time. You've wasted a lot of time on this predator, so be patient with yourself that you have not healed overnight. It will happen for you though, if you just stay the course. Acknowledge and appreciate yourself for every step you take that you know if in the right direction, and most of all, forgive yourself for your past. The past is exactly that, the past. You are in control of your future, and your future is this moment and every single moment going forward. (((hugs)))

It sounds to me like you're trying to use no contact to force him to behave - in which case it won't work. No contact is basically about protecting yourself. You stop him from contacting you so he can suck you back in, and you stop yourself from contacting him if you get emotionally sucked in yourself.

the reason to break contact is to break free of them...it's not for their reaction, it's for us to get out from under their control he's not going to apologize (except as a weapon against you) because he's NOT SORRY...they don't feel the same way us humans do, they are aliens! He doesn't care that he hurt you, that he used you as NS...just like he is using this other woman. It's not about LOVE, it's never about LOVE with them. Love is a weapon they use against us, to get NS