BPD

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#1 Feb 4 - 12PM
brinamarie
brinamarie's picture

BPD

this topic comes up a lot on the board, just wondering if anyone in recovery has been diagnosed with this and how you're coping, what tools you're using, any success stories? hits a little close to home..

Feb 4 - 6PM
darkspark
darkspark's picture

BPD

I haven't posted here in a long time, and I don't read very often but I happened by and saw this. I was diagnosed as BPD last summer, well actually that I have strong borderline traits and that my actions in the past are indicative that I was strongly BPD in my 20s and 30s. My significant narc relationship (the one that led me here) was a few years ago, but I just couldn't get past it. I wasn't hung up on him anymore, but I was hung up on something that I couldn't identify and I couldn't move on. My diagnosis is the best thing that has ever happened to me. People talk about how the N experience opens doors to understanding themselves and feeling like a fully functioning member of the human race. For me I felt like I had learned something significant but that I was missing a key bit of information. I finally put the pieces together and my life has changed completely. If you are capable of self awareness and interested in change, you can get hold of your darker side. I spend a lot of time having inner dialogues with myself about what I am feeling and why I might be feeling it. My inner bossy boots can slap myself back into sense, or know when to pull back and let the feelings ride before I pull the trigger on anything I might regret later. I think it all depends on your level of self awareness and your willingness to change your life. But then I'm not fully blown - when I read about some of the things that other BPD people go through it is unfamiliar to me, and I feel grateful that I'm not dealing with the same level of desperation. I worry about telling people, that their perception of me will be that I am bound to be unpredictable. At first the idea of the BPD diagnosis was unimaginable, mostly because what I read about was the serious scary stuff. Just like everything there are shades, and personally I'd rather know the truth than just continue bumping through my life reacting to stimuli in ways I don't understand. I've only told the people who need to know, everyone else can just know the me that is striving to be measured and consistent. I've become much calmer, much wiser, and much more mature. Not everyone is in the same boat and I am, it is painful to watch people struggle with this disorder, but my diagnosis was the lighthouse that guided me home. I don't want this to be a testimony to the general group, that when you feel 'is it me' that you should grab a diagnosis and blame yourself. It is completely natural to identify with antisocial traits when you have been exposed to antisocial personalities, that doesn't make it your problem or your fault. But if you do the work and find you still don't have the answers, or if you have serious questions about your own mental health status- get to a professional to see if you can get some answers. Don't just diagnose yourself, because you will probably do yourself more harm than good.
Feb 4 - 4PM
Hunter
Hunter's picture

http://www.sharischreiber.com

http://www.sharischreiber.com/anatomy.html
Feb 5 - 2AM (Reply to #2)
WorthMore
WorthMore's picture

Thank you, Hunter. I am

Thank you, Hunter. I am becoming a major Shari fan...