Boundaries

Learning about boundaries since the departure of the freak has been amazing. At first , my goal was just to get through the day, then it was to learn and heal. Once the healing was well underway and I started to look at reasons as to why I put up with his behaviour and allowed him to treat me the way he did, it really got me thinking about my boundaries. I have always been quite quiet and agreeable, agreed to things that I didn't want to do just to keep people happy, tolerated awful people just because I wanted to be liked by everyone, constantly needed to be told that I was ok in people's eyes. My narc knew exactly what I was like and took complete advantage of that. I couldn't see what was happening as I loved the love bombing if I'm honest cos it made me feel good that someone loved me so much, I was blinded by him.
Anyway back to boundaries. I have mine firmly in place now. I'm quite amazed at myself really . I always thought that if I asserted myself , did what I wanted, said what I thought , that people would be aggressive and dislike me. The truth is that people aren't like that at all, they kind of respect you for your honesty. Yes, I have lost a few people in the last year that don't seem to like the new me but so what? They weren't meant to be there in the first place then,
I am at the start of a new relationship now, with a guy I have known for a while. He takes me for dinner, we go for walks, cinema etc and I know his family which is great . I have put my boundaries in place with him and he is a good man and understands why. He lives away and that works for me even better because I actually love my own space now.
I'm not saying that I am a loud mouthed opinionated person but quietly and calmly I let people know what I will put up with and I actually do what I want to do .
I have changed so much from the person I was even before I met the narc. This is a great thing that came out of my break up with him. I actually can't believe that I am who I am today . I wish I had always been this way .
Big hugs, set up your boundaries and keep moving forward xxxxx