Blessing and a curse

So I blocked the N on FB, washed my hands of any FB drama, right? Then I was reading another post on here about how do you avoid checking your N's FB profile and thought, "Well, that's easy...just block them." Then, it was like a sick lightbulb went off in my head. I keep a separate account for work (I do marketing) and it suddenly dawned on me that I never blocked him from that account. Omg, in a quick minute before I even thought about what I was doing I logged in under that account and was checking it out. And here's what happened...

First, I found the wife's account. She changed her profile pic to one of just her (she'd had it set to a pic of the two of them). Oddly, in this photo she resembles me. (Please don't take that as any kind of N statement...just really, for whatever reason with the lighting and the way her hair was, I could see where we kinda look alike.) It's a little creepy. She had pretty much everything else locked down.

THEN, I went to his account. New profile pic, taken from when he took her on an anniversary trip last fall. Sick F*** was just starting to see me at the time. He was texting me all day long throughout that weekend. Later told me how horrible the trip was, how they'd fought a lot, and how he'd managed to avoid sleeping with her during it. Why the hell did he make that his profile pic??!! I'm assuming to appease the wife; I'm guessing it was a better trip than he'd lead me to believe. That also tells me she doesn't know the full extent of his cheating. If she knew he was seeing me back then, I doubt she'd be so happy about him posting a pic from then.

He'd ALSO posted a couple photos of a family trip to an amusement park. One of which had him and her looking very cozy. Not sure when this would have been, guessing it was before he and I started seeing each other. It might have been an oversight, but these photos were the ONLY things visible from his wall.

UGGGGHHHH! Hate that I did this b/c now I have those images seared in my brain. BUT, it also jogged me out of my nostalgic fog. Even though I have him blocked, it somehow feels "aggressive" to me, like maybe he left them public in case I decided to unblock him or check him out through a friend's account. I don't know. BUT what really came through is that he is moving on in his reconciliation. And here I am, STUCK, pining over his sorry a$$??

Feeling right now like such a fool. And feeling so ashamed of myself and frustrated with myself. From the photos you'd think they have this great life together. I know differently and yet...it's hard not to look at that and not want it, to not want to be her.

I NEED to get really angry about all this so I can stop obsessing. Any tips? I think I needed to see that today because I was "this close" to contacting him. That would've only made me feel "less than," which I already feel looking at those photos. Like I'm not worthy of him loving me b/c he D&D'd me, and ran back to her. Please, can somebody help me to get my head on straight!

UGH!