Bittersweet Day

Hi Everyone,

I know i haven't been around lately but i've had you all on my mind, i've just been busy and snowed under with a lot of feelings - not all pleasant by the way.

First of all, my sister got angry with me out of the blue because she thinks I should come home and take care of my elderly parents because of the MESS i CAUSED by bringing the narc into the family, who ended up ripping them off. We have since talked and she admits she has just been under a lot of stress, and all is well there.

Now, the worser part LOL: My ex narc got released yesterday. I can't believe it - but then again, now seeing how the justice system doesn't always work in the victim's favor, i'm not surprised.

I felt bad as when i went to clean out the rest of our stuff from the garage a couple of weeks ago, i found that one of our neighbors had probably found "the key i misplaced" after that crazy day with the cops, and cleaned out ALL his tools. On the one hand, I hurt for him but on the other, I need to remember that he put himself in that predicament by screwing over fuck ups who are just like himself and hold no love or loyalty for him.

Secondly, I heard from the girl in the county in where i left his truck (which i transferred the title back into his name again a week ago) that he was "there" at the moment gettiing his stuff. I never heard back from her so i assumed he "hung" around with them for awhile. On the one hand, I feel relieved that he hasn't tried to contact me anymore.

But on the other, confusing point, i have to say i am a little hurt --- does this make sense? LOL...Although if he is true to form, and i think he is, i believe there will come a day down the road when he starts obsessing about ME again, and i know i won't like it, but right now for some reason i am feeling the sting of knowing i never meant anything to him at all.

I have to remember that HE is the empty shell with nothing substantial to fill the void, and I'm not. but i would appreciate your good thoughts my way...