bit of a set back today

no reason for it-just out of the blue, feeling blue....

Was doing well over the week-end, today I long for my dream back....

My head keeps telling me that pretend guy is dead and I accept it most of the time without much complaint....

I think it's the weather, or something.....hormones? PMS? something like that.....

This time last year I had a marvellous future being faked for me....

Happy1's picture

I'm so sorry! We're both having a down day. Today is my narc's birthday and I think I have PMS. We will survive the pain though and get through it. Big Hugs to you today!
exhausted's picture

I had days like this too. It's been about a month since I've really missed him. I am still scared that one day i will wake up and have a sad day. I think this is all part of the healing process. The fact that you are having good days is a good sign though. On the bad days you need to tell yourself that it is ok to feel what you are feeling and that it will pass. Just hang in there. It always helped me to come here when I had those days.
dudette's picture

You have been really helpful x I have becomes o used to put a front on this and look like everything is fine, I get really rattled when my feelings overtake my resolve like this... Thank you x x x
victimnomore's picture

T agree with TLSM. The xnarc is 46 and you can't teach an old dog a new trick. I also think about being with him again and how would I feel being with him and the answer is SICK! dudette you will be ok. Just hang in there these feelings will pass. last time this year I was in denial about my marriage and trying to convince myself that I was happy, NOT! Now I am totally living in reality and it is not bad at all, sure it hurt that my fantasy has ended but god i can't believe that I was able to even function in that mess of a marriage. This too shall pass! peace!


TLSM's picture

It will pass! I promise! I was feeling REALLY crappy this past weekend. I was missing him and jealous of "her". Today I am grateful I am out of that hell. What helps me is this... Imagine yourself back together again after all the crap he did, said, went through with the bastard. How would you feel being back with him? Would your stomach hurt? Anxiety because you can't trust him and have to know where he is every second of the day? Was he REALLY nice to you, I mean GENUINELY nice to you? Think of the nasty things he has said. You think that would change? Hell no. My ex N is 48 years old. Can't teach a dog new tricks. He is set in his ways, narc or not. THINK OF THE BAD ONLY. ENVISION YOURSELF BACK THIS RABID ANIMAL. He is a liar and a piece of crap. You are better than him! TOTALLY. They ALWAYS put their needs FIRST and ALWAYS put their needs ON US. Our needs didn't matter. Screw that! We have more integrity than they will ever have. We DESERVE MORE!
Hunter's picture

Just one of those days! PMS kills me! Do what happy did, get the phone out of sight! Be Strong Tommorrow is another day! Idealk
dudette's picture

Turns out that someone from my Church has died this morning. Just got the news.....
spinning's picture

It's me here, still spinning a bit. I posted something just like this last week and you came to remind me that it will pass. I'm here to do the same. Today is a new day. I'm still a little blue, but the reasons have more to do with me than him. I think we're allowed to feel a little bit sorry for ourselves for being so royally DUPED. It's not nice when an open heart gets spit on and it hurts. I hope you're pain will not last long and I send you a hug and the good vibes for a better day ahead. sincerely (still trying to stop) spinning


kgirl's picture

Hugs for you Dudette...... hang in there and it will pass. There is such a draw to that illusion..... I'm struggling with that as well. But it's such an illusion and isn't it better to have our feet planted more firmly on the ground? :) ~KG
dudette's picture

what would we do without one another.....