Big Step for me - Facing My Fears

My 90 days of not going to my regular Saturday meeting is not up yet, but after working with my therapist and talking with my friend who was at the lake retreat and goes to this meeting, I have decided to TRY to face my fear and go to that meeting.

I have a plan. My friend will meet me and my kids at the door. My friend, whether right or wrong, has told me xN hasn't been at that meeting in a really long time. So that time I was there and "saw his car and lost my cookies" in the parking lot, appears to not have been HIS car.

I can sort of wrap my brain around that, as in the last almost 3 months I am not kidding, I have seen about 40 billion of those stupid Nissan Altimas....

I have my RBT sheets, I've been practicing my retrain my brain statements and I pray regularly and I'm going to try to go.

I also have a plan B, and if I am not able to get past any emotion that comes out without looking like a dingbat, or God forbid, crapping my pants, puking or shaking, I will just take my kids and leave.

I feel OK. I really do. I'm not freaked out like I used to get weeks in advance thinking about stuff like this. Currently I do not have any "what if" thinking going on. I am focused on me and THE PLAN.

I feel oddly OK. I haven't felt this feeling that I recall so I don't know if it means I have slipped in to insanity or what, but I feel oddly like, OK, we are gonna try this.

pray for me! My meeting is at 10AM cst.
round3