Being Friends

When someone has intellectual intelligence it is hard to sort out that they have very low emotional intelligence. For you friendship and love come with accompanying actions, attitudes, and behaviors. Positive attention, loyalty, dependability, honesty, etc. to him a friend is just someone who he knows and knows their phone number. He has no clue what you are talking about. Change your number if you can and move on.

Don't fall for this friends crap. I did in the very beginning when he gutted me and stomped my heart into the ground. After He pulled the last D&D didn't hear from him for a month. He tried to come back around as if nothing happened I gave him the boot. He still tried to say that neither of us are in a good place to have any kind of relationship. Gee, I think that's what I had told him from the very beginning that I wasn't looking to get involved in anything with anyone. He began calling me everyday playing up the friend angle. It was was so painful, one conversation I remember screaming at him to leave me alone and go off with Michele but stay the fuck out of my life. This didn't phase him he just kept calling everyday. Then during a conversation the friends with benefits line came out. He was talking about our relationship and what we could have now. That he even thought maybe we could be friends with benefits but that would be unfair to me. It's a good thing he said that on the phone I would have slapped his face or kneed him in the groin. Unfair to me? Because I loved him but he never loved me. The whole relationship was unfair to me because it was all a lie. Just like his offer of friends was a lie. I told him right then and there I didn't want to be friends either, that I wanted him out of my life. You should do the same it's just a lie. You want to know how much we are friends now. He never calls or emails, a blessing. He always makes sure to apologize for calling on the house line because he's lost my work number for some reason. He shut his cell and gave me a number to reach him in case of emergency but never answers it. He blocked his Facebook and screen name to me. Oh and right before he shut his cell he mentioned a dozen times how he finally learned how to get rid of the photos on his phone. Meaning he's deleting me from his phone altogether. He always acts so friendly if I'm unfortunate enough to run into him but have learned these are not accidental meetings. His mom is on her deathbed and he's tried to get me to sit with her while he goes out. Ha! So I've figured out when he stops by to see how I'm doing, then I run into him here and there it all leads up to that phone call. "Hey can you..." I'm back to screening calls and hiding until she passes. Not obligated to call you are right but they may still need the attention. They hang on with hopes they can use you as soon as they figure out they can't they slink away like the slime they are. He went from calling everyday, to twice a week, to once a week, once every other week, until not at all. He's asked me to breakfast, lunch, coffee or said he'd stop by when we got hit with a storm. He never follows through and I never call him on it. It will be good when his mom passes, he'll have to move hopefully far away. Don't fall for the friend crap it's a lie.

My ex Narc boyfriend wanted to be friends (with benifits) reckoned he was still attracted to me. I told him I found someone I was interested in and I could'nt trust him,because as soon as he had a few drinks-he'd turn into an octopus!!and could'nt keep his hands to himself!!!He promised he would try...anyway I don't believe they can maintain any kind of friendship!! especially with women!

Guess the best way to look at this question is this way: How can you emotionally and psychologically manipulate someone if that person isn’t in someway in your life? How can you use a person in the future if that person is no longer a part of your life? How could you ever reconnect and worm your way back into someone’s life if you refuse all contact with that person? How can a pathological person keep tabs on you if you have refused all types of contact? By remaining friends with a pathological person both parties leave a door open and not shut and seal as it should be... So for that pathological person being friends is for them a win win situation but for the other party in question it's entrapment waiting to happen.... http://james-personalitydisorder.blogspot.com/

I never could figure this out either the first time he D&D me he called all the time two after taking a brief two week break. We got along pretty well as just friends...bc i didnt care what the heck he was up to. I did wonder though why he called daily and said he missed me but wasnt with me. Emotionally, it was the worst time of my life. If you can please look out for yourself and go NC. I found out back in Dec he had an online OW...and again in Feb when he D&D me again...he had OW... I think they do keep in touch with us so we wont expose them. To keep tabs on us to make sure we arent talking to their new woman. This final D&D...everyone pretty much already knew what he was about, so I guess he is just busy making me out to be the stalker...havent heard from him.

they don't have friends - they have patsys or prey. they try to keep you in the loop so you don't expose them, that's why. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Pathologicals only discard the best, most precious of gems of people... not the worst. They despise the strong, principled, decent & honest. Their discarding of you is then their highest commendation of your worth!" - A.V.