Bargaining

Because he has blocked me on Facebook and his phone, I am forced into No Contact. He told his friend that it was only for a while, though, until I got over him (i.e. until I'm not angry at him anymore).

Closed down my fake Facebook account I used to stalk his public profile, and it's now Day 2 of really, truly No Contact.

I find myself thinking, if only I was much thinner, more sociable, more talkative, more accomplished in my photography and film making, then he'd find me acceptable. Whereas I was only good enough for a fling in my current state. Even though I know he is not the right guy for me, he is lacking the empathy chip, too old, his habits are so unhealthy...... my mind goes forward into the future, where we meet up again, I am beautiful and successful, and finally we make a go of it properly......

Even though he has flatly said, "You are not the right person for me"....

Going through some hipstamatic photos I took last year, which I shared on Facebook, many of which he liked, I am getting nostalgic for the laughs we had.

Bloody hell! When will my brain stop thinking of him all the time?