Barbara

Hi Barbara,

I have tried to find out your role on this site. You are not on the contact page, but it would appear obvious that you are a co-creator or 'moderator' . I would really appreciate it if you could please confirm your status on the boards.

Thank you!

cupcake's picture

Barbara is our leading light!! Really saved me and helped me through the worst time of my life. She was strong and harsh when I needed and loving and understanding when I needed it! When I first came on here I couldnt believe what she was telling me. No contact! I felt I could never do that and didn't believe her when she said it was the ONLY thing that could heal me. I was thinking "what? no contact? Is she crazy? NO WAY!" Well, she was right. No contact is the only way to heal yourself. Since this website, medication and therapy I am in a much better place then I was a few months ago. There is still a journey to go but the love and support of Lisa and Barbara and the others here is overwhelming. Therapy is good but you also need to talk to people that have been through it. Barbara has seen it ALL!!!!!!!!!! You need to listen to her and trust her with what she says - everything she has told me has been completely accurate to the minute. I think what I am trying to sink in is that my Weak-N is not happier with her out there. I still struggle, but keep coming back to the posts and re-reading them to udnerstand it is a pattern and he will treat her the same as me and any other woman. An object, a piece of trash, plumbing parts to be used for sex nothing more. No feeling, no love, no affection, no empathy, no remorse, no guilt. Only rage. Thank you so much Barabara! One day we should all do an international get together!!!
Barbara's picture

I am the moderator and Lisa's helper. I am trying to save money up to get my counseling certification and I do relationship coaching for victims of Narcissists & Psychopaths. I am a survivor of a NarcMother, numerous Narc friends & bosses, two Psychopath boyfriends, 4 Narc boyfriends and an exNarcHusband I have 2 children with exNH I am permanently disabled since 1995 and have permanent PTSD I have my own blog on abuse: http://abusesanctuary.blogspot.com http://www.lisaescott.com/forum/2009/07/22/barbaras-story is there a reason you need to know this? (thanks perutoo) ~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Pathologicals only discard the best, most precious of gems of people... not the worst. They despise the strong, principled, decent & honest. Their discarding of you is then their highest commendation of your worth!" - A.V.
Liberty's picture

Thank you for the information. Yes there was a reason. Since joining, I have found you to be a very necessary containing element to the obvious success of this site, not just in terms of how you have contained and held my personal anxieties through your responsive stance, but how you are consistent throughout, with everyone. I figured you had to be an integral part of why this works and in the absence of seeing you being 'lauded' for your effort, I had to ask. In short, You Rock. Liberty
cynthia's picture

yes she does rock, an EXPERT in the deformity of this personality disorder and illness, I have almost come full circle because of her PERSONAL understanding and knowledge. Barbara you are going to make an outstanding counselor in this field
Scoop's picture

Our Barbara status on this board is one of of complete dedication in helping women and men educate themselves aginst the horror of narcissism .For many of us she is the voice of reason in some very dark hours . Peru x
neveragain's picture

Barbara's advice and wisdom is priceless. She always knows exactly what to say and what needs to be done in every circumstance. She provides links to other sites for information and support. Barbara also provides input for the radio shows and her experience in dealing with N's (all kinds)is very extensive. I trust her instincts implicitly. She also provides compassion for us and a no-nonsense boundary line agains the N's. She's a Guiding Light. neveragain
dolce's picture

I don't know where I'd be today without Barbara. Barbara...you surely do rock, sister! Thank you so much for all you do. And Lisa, you are wonderful for putting this site up for all of us. You rock too sista friend! ~Free to Be~
Lisa E. Scott's picture

Barbara is the reason this messageboard is so successful. I had a vision, but Barbara and all of you have made it a reality. I'm not on the board as much as I'd like to be, but I rest easy knowing Barbara is on top of it. She is the official moderator of this board. She does all the hard work while I work my day job in order to fund the site. I certainly wish I could pay her more than I do so please contribute if you can as she is working on getting certified and will make the best coach/counselor anyone could ask for. Someday I know I will be able to pay her what she deserves. I'm working on it, trust me. Barbara, you are a guiding light and I hope you know how many lives you touch. I know how blessed I am to have you in my life and I am truly grateful for you and all you do. xoxo, Lisa
GhostBuster's picture

Barbara is the glue that holds all of us, and this site, together.
Barbara's picture

Today is the 6 year "Blogiversary" of my abuse site: Sanctuary for the Abused: http://abusesanctuary.blogspot.com/ It was Psycho-Boy who encouraged me to start that site... though he said he though blogging was "stupid" Now he has a right wing politics site... and gets more outrageous in his claims all the time. And I am here - helping all of you. And getting a whole lot more in return than I ever got from him. Thank GOD! ~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Pathologicals only discard the best, most precious of gems of people... not the worst. They despise the strong, principled, decent & honest. Their discarding of you is then their highest commendation of your worth!" - A.V.
dolce's picture

Happy blogoversary Barbara. I used to have a little cooking blog which I enjoyed. I had lots of readers who appreciated it too. But when the N left he kept checking my site and I didnt want him to have ANY access to any part of me. So I shut it down. My readers still write hoping I will do it again, but he will never stop stalking and If i do open another site it will be brand new and anonymous. I blame him for taking even that away from me even though I know it was my personal decision. Keep up the good work. ~Free to Be~
Barbara's picture

"humbled I am...." - Yoda you know, over the years I have gotten mail (and sometimes it was sent to exNH) by people who knew me saying that I was "a narcissist myself" or that I thought I "am Mother Teresa." An ex-client of mine even found and TEAMED UP with Psycho-Boy to smear me all over the net to the point I had to call the FBI. Another site owner also started to smear me when I pointed out that she was contributing to the games and nastiness on her site and it was hurting people who were already hurting. I was booted from that and no less than THREE other sites for: - being "too negative" - being "bitter" - questioning Sam V. and his sycophants - not putting up with an alcoholic member who abused me online; I was told to be "more understanding" - accused of "MAKING THINGS UP" about the Ns and Ps in my life because it couldn't "possibly be that bad" I continue to remember the negative blowback to my efforts to try to help people. And I forget the good stuff far too easily. Thank you for all of this... truly. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Pathologicals only discard the best, most precious of gems of people... not the worst. They despise the strong, principled, decent & honest. Their discarding of you is then their highest commendation of your worth!" - A.V.
GhostBuster's picture

WHO CARES WHAT THEY THINK! (in this case, THEY being the Devils' disciples). :) You know who you are and what your mission is.
Liberty's picture

XX
Rose-Marie's picture

Barbara, Many thanks from me too. Rosy xx
tasha's picture

Yes you have touched my life too. Today I am happy and my road to healing has been made easier. I just wanted say thanks too-to a most precious gem!!! Tasha x
grossot's picture

Now whenever N rages even my mom will say "Can you ask Barbara?" I am very grateful for you Barbara. Without you I would never have limited N's contact with me to emails only. It makes me feel so empowered and free. I can breathe again! And for that, Barbara, I am grateful! I am even grateful for your tough love! And Lisa, without your vision - I'd be lost- I would think I was the only one which would have led me to continue to believe I deserved the D&D. Thank you! ~Give a Narc an inch and they become the ruler~ nolongercontrolled