A Bad Case of the Dangles

A Bad Case of the Dangles
By Alexandra Nouri

If you’ve been with a Narcissist, chances are you’ve got the Dangles. This is standard, common-grade narcissism: The guy comes back after pulling away, far away, only to dangle shiny words, promises, and other attention-grabbers in front of you looking for a response.

Waiting for ol’ narcissist-boy to stop with the constant post-breakup contact, sucking you back into his mind-maul world and trashing your soul and ego even more than before? (And who knew that was even possible?) Wondering when he’ll finally leave you alone and quit with the Dangles, so you can heal?

Got that answer for you right here. Now, where did I put it?… I just had it… Ah, here it is:

NEVER!

As long as the toad thinks he can pull you close enough to suck more of your energy, as long as he thinks you’ll give him the time of day, as long as he thinks you’ll play along and be a good little victim (seriously, this is how he thinks), he’s going to come back for more. 100% guaranteed. More energy, good vibes, attention, and drama for him; more misery, disappointment and frustration for you. 100% guaranteed. Ah, the luxury of certainty! The comfort and security of a sure thing!

Not.

To get rid of this albatross around your neck and his stupid Dangles, you need to take matters into your own hands. YOU need to end it. YOU need to derail his train of destruction and soul-stomping that’s barreling through your life.

Fortunately, this isn’t hard. As soon as you cut off the free, unrequited love and attention, as soon as he realizes you’re not giving out emotional SWAG anymore, the Mooch will go away. He’ll come back later, just to check; tell him he’s a bore and then ignore him, and he’ll check in with decreasing frequency. Once he gets it that you see him for what he is and that he’ll get nothing more from you, he’ll give up and go away.

The truth of this hurts. But you’ll get over the pain of moving forward; you’d never get over the pain of trying to work with him.

So, when Narcy-Pants comes along and dangles sweet words or promises in front of you looking for your willingness to play along, see it for the Dangles infection that it is, hit the delete button, and get rid of the problem once and for all.

Alexandra Nouri
http://alexandranouri.wordpress.com/2011/04/07/a-bad-case-of-the-dangles/