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attempting to change!

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#1 Aug 25 - 9PM
dazedandcnonfused
dazedandcnonfused's picture

attempting to change!

Thursdays are my night out with my friends. We usually go to dinner and get drinks. Tonight I am staying home. Trying to change so bad patterns I have picked up mostly with drinking and breaking NC. So tonight I am staying home and cleaning out my closet. Feels good to change the energy and direction of my life:)

I had accupuncunture today again. She put the needle in my arm that is the pericardium site that protects my heart. I nearly jumped off the table. It hurt throughout my body. She had to take the point out. Also she left some other heart strengthening points. The entire time I laid there it felt like I was wearing an extremely tight bra. And flashes of my ex kept going by in my head. I then pictured his white house and I could see the numbers on his read 1666. I have no idea what his house address really is. But I took the 666 out of it to possibly recognize the evil of it all.

Aug 26 - 12AM
no more
no more's picture

Dazed and confused

maybe you could pick another night or another venue. Maybe it is too early to see N with the OW. I had an event to go to on the weekend and found out he and the OW would be there,,,paid for the ticket,,,but no way was I going,,,still too early and still too vulnerable. I am also not ready for those triggers yet. I went to my DOC'S today,,,,and an EXN(from 10 yearsago) was there in the waiting room. We have not even come across each other in the past 10 years,,,,and we live in a small community. SOOO I had to walk past him to use the washroom,,,,he was staring at me so I just said a nice polite HI.(although I looked like shit,,,suffering from serious vertigo,,, (just started with it this week) Had to LOL to myself because he was just going to ignore me,,,,and all he could muster out of his putrid self was hi,DO you think that there is a little bit of guilt there,,,,because he literally dropped off planet earth in a period of 24 hours,I am soo over him,,, SEE EVERYONE,,,it does happen,,,you DO get over these A@@holes. I would have chatted him up big time with no after effects on me. Just finding it coincidental though,,,because I had the same prob 20 years ago when I was dating this N,,,and he came everyday after work to help out. This time I am on my own,,,and I will manage just fine. HUGS

I just got involved with the same N for the second time.
What was I thinking? Because I have put myself back to the same point where I am blaming myself again. And for what?
I want to get rid of these feelings again.

Aug 25 - 11PM
Sparrow
Sparrow's picture

CONTINUE YOUR THURSDAY NIGHT

CONTINUE YOUR THURSDAY NIGHT OUTINGS IF THATS WHAT YOU ENJOY. WORK ON YOUR CLOSET WHEN ITS RAINING AND YOU DONT FEEL LIKE GOING OUT! GOOD FOR YOU THOUGH, YOUR HEART AND MIND WERE IN THE RIGHT PLACE! YOUR DOING GOOD! VERY PROUD OF YOU! BUT DONT GIVE UP YOUR THURSDAY NIGHT WITH THE GIRLS!
Aug 25 - 9PM
juliamarie
juliamarie's picture

So cool!

Okay...so if you're into accupunture, you might benefit from something I tried recently. It's a little on the weird side, but I think I'm seeing some benefit. I went to a Reiki specialist in my area, and she was amazing. They work with your energy to remove blockages and negative energy that keeps you from moving forward. Without knowing a thing about me, she said, "yeah....you just came out of a very negative relationship. I removed some of the residual damage" I'm doing a lot of things to help myself so this is just one of half a dozen things I've tried, but I really felt lighter after my session. I felt electrical impulses during the session that were more interesting than anything. Can't really describe it. But, if I think it worked, then that's all that mattered.
Aug 25 - 10PM (Reply to #6)
dazedandcnonfused
dazedandcnonfused's picture

At this point I have been

At this point I have been trying it all:) I have a friend that does energy work. She aligned my chakras and that was amazing. I felt her hands on my chest and they were heavy. I never felt her lift them off and then she spoke to me from across the room I realized that her hands werent even on my chest. Kind of crazy but cool. She kept telling me she saw two paths that I could take one with a steep cliff that I could fall off at any moment. or the one with my husband that was safe. She also said that she could see my ex crunched down in a corner by himself crying. Kind of sad really:( Any how, yes I also had my tarot cards read, 10 sessions of counseling, chinese herbal remedies, Yoga, affirmations,massage and this forum. It is costing me a lot of money but not only is it helping with my addiction of my ex. But I am finding my own energy and self in this entire process. I think the last 16 yrs have been all about having 3 kids, college and establishing a career etc. I finally am focusing on my true self again and where I want to be. I honestly think I lost myself to some extent in this process. ANd having my ex find me he reminded me of who I was. I guess I can thank him to some extent:/
Aug 25 - 10PM (Reply to #7)
dazedandcnonfused
dazedandcnonfused's picture

Oh and I forgot my friend

Oh and I forgot my friend that aligned my chakras has a ritual that she has been asking to do with me since February which is cutting the cord that you have tied to someone. I keep telling her I am not ready. She had a similiar experience with an ex person and she had this done and she said it really helps. That it stops the thinking about them. If you do think about them it is easily dismissed as you would think of anyone else in your life that doesnt live close to your heart. Like your mailman or grocery clerk whatever. I think I may need to finally take her up on this offer and sever this tie for ever!!!
Aug 25 - 9PM
Hunter
Hunter's picture

Dazed

When your done with your closet, I have one here that needs help!! Good job!! You rock!! Pin that list on the door of your closet. Or you could just post a big sign that says "Asshole". Both work :) Hunter
Aug 25 - 10PM (Reply to #3)
dazedandcnonfused
dazedandcnonfused's picture

hunter you are awesome!!! I

hunter you are awesome!!! I wish we lived closer, I know you and I would have some fun:) And you'd kick my ass if I got drunk and texted!
Aug 25 - 10PM (Reply to #4)
Hunter
Hunter's picture

Oh for sure, I do like to

Oh for sure, I do like to Party like a rock star! :) Hunter
Aug 25 - 9PM
foreverfun1
foreverfun1's picture

wow pretty cool about how the

wow pretty cool about how the heart points effected you. it's weird how u saw 666, and the extra "1" probably meant even worse than 666 like worse than satan. i keep dreaming of my N and waking up in a bad mood lol