Attachment

This attachment is about something that is not good for you. this man offered you a lot and then tortured you when you took the bait. Not all abusers are narcissists and the ones who attack when you get too close often had a serious child abuse history. Trying to unravel the whys, whens, and hows of this man will keep you in a suffering place. No contact with him and his family will help you heal and look for the future in a positive way. There is a book called 'Weight Loss for the Mind" written by Stuart Wilde. It is a tiny book with a huge impact. He shows how much of the suffering and anguish that we suffer comes from our opiniions about things, our internal reality, and our perceptions of life. We preceive what we believe. You can release anguish and strss by changing your idea about the conflict that you just ended. what he had to offer was toxic, trouble and problems and you might think of yourself as lucky that you got away instead of suffering that you are alone: re-act differently think 'thank god I got away before something really terrible happened. If you don't re-act you can't experience negative emotion or anguish. How do you know what is coming around the corner? this guy just pretended he was the right one for you and when it came to actually being the right guy he pushed you away. What you think about you bring about. start planning a new plan and make your thinking self stay focused on other things. New Year is a great time to make a plan and work your plan. One of the best teachers of positive thinking is the Mary Kay cosmetics company. the highest paid women in the world work for that company and Harvard business school says their sales training is the best! Go to some meetings in your area, get a book on The Law Of Attraction, go to a Unity Church if there is one in your area, and look in their bookstore. A book will jump out at you. You have to train yourself how to win emotionally and then you will draw other emotional winners to you. Once you get out of the mindset that this family is all you want and can't have them-you can go out and find other people who won't hurt you. his mother might not be the angel you think she is. you don't know what goes on behind closed doors. Your ex might act like the family nut but in many cases the nut is the sane one and being driven nuts by the other crazy family members. You are free physically, now get free mentally, get free emotionally and remember the rest of your life is right around the corner. You deserve much better than this and you will get it. Make a list of what you have to be greatful for and concentrate on those things for the holiday season. you are a winner who is wasting tears on a loser.

iznjho: I know how you feel. I was crazy about my mother-in-law. And she was crazy about me. We were really good friends. Managed to communicate somehow even though we do not speak the same language & do not live in the same country. I left my N very suddenly. I lost his mother in the bargain. His parents came to the house this summer to support him for 6 weeks. My mother-in-law was just 3 miles away from me. But, my N prohibited me from going to the house I own with him. He didn't want me speaking to his parents about his behavior. Also, they are HIS PARENTS, not mine. And, I was too afraid to go there & make contact myself. & the language is such an issue. I still dream about my mother-in-law. I miss her very much. I am so sad that she thinks I treated her son badly. Actually, I really tried to make him happy & to make the marriage work. I tried very hard to be a good wife. I know he has "projected" a lot of his own issues on to me. I know he blames me. And, I know he is the "victim" because I so cruelly abandoned him after only 2 1/2 years of marriage. Nobody knows how cruel he was to me while I lived in that house. No. I must let his mother go. It is hard. I miss her more than I miss him. We would go to her house every year for 4-6 weeks. Stay with her. His parents would come & stay at our house for a month at a time. These were some of the happiest moments in my marriage. I lost everything good. But the price of the good was tolerating unspeakable cruelty, emotional sadism. She could never believe how cruel her son is in private with me. And her husband is a narcissist as well. She would never believe me. She will be as tigress to protect her cub & her mate. She must or her entire life will have been in vain, caught in the wb of the narcissist. Anyhow, she is his mother. Her duty is to support him. Not me. So sorry for your loss. You are not alone.

I've had times like this. This too shall pass. It will. You will be happy again. Just hang on. Oh I wish I had a magic wand for our members. I wish I could make the pain go away. Together, we can all get through. We need the support of each other to move forward. Keep posting.