Are all narcs basically romantically involved with their mothers or is it just my husband?

My moral imbecile has a thing for older women, claimed he had "mother issues" himself. His partner is older and an overt standard issue narcissist; weird but relatively benign. He is covert, malignant and the most goddawful messed up sob you could hope to meet. He is pretty much estranged from both his parents, or so it seems. Don't think he's got romantic notions about mommy, just trying to find unconditional love with a partner, as in: partner has to toe the line. He gets to do whatever the hell he wants.

The ex-Psych prof looks like an exception. He hardly talked about his mother, she remained anonymous over all 4 years (for those with knowledge of Greco-Roman mythology, she has the same name as Odysseus' faithful wife, as well as a lady of Mantineia who bore the god Pan to Hermes) His mother wasn't a major fixation. However, he worshipped his father. He'd call his father by his first name-one of the few people he ever did that for-and spoke of him reverently. I think he wanted me to be a father surrogate, far more challenging than a mother surrogate(!) Frankly, I'm not surprised he married a woman who was rather butch&into science. It's a reverse of the male scientist/female artsy type, with my father being an oceanographer&my mother into art, or my brother in-law being an immunologist&my sister being an English major, or the famous Dan Brown (author of DA VINCI CODE),whose mother is a music expert&whose father is a scientist. It's rare to see a male philosopher/female scientist pairing. The ex-P saw me, as a fellow philosopher/writer... as competition. His girlfriend restores artifacts;she works with objects. Very dry&scientific. Not something he could really "mirror." After the final D&D, he spends A LOT of time with his Daddy. He'd tell me that one of his favorite scenes in "War and Peace" is when Prince Andrei kisses his pregnant wife Lisa's hand like a stranger, but then kisses his father Nicholas affectionately. Andrei makes Oedipus look NORMAL!

Mine sure is, I can tell. This is probably one of the strong reasons why they have this constant anger, that they don`t express towards "mommy" but towards girlfriends, meaning us :| freaks..

Xnh is obsessed with his narc mommy. He talks about her constantly, and to hear him, you'd think she was Mother Theresa (she's not - lol). She hasn't liked ANYONE that xnh was with (well, maybe this last OW that SHE picked out herself - we'll see how long THAT lasts. lol). Xnmil did not like me, she did not like xnh's first wife, and she has not liked any of his girlfriends either. To quote one of my friends about xnh, "He's not quite titty broke yet, is he?" Nope, not even close. He's married to his mommy. There is no room emotionally left for a real wife. Xnh and his mommy interact with each other more like lovers than mother/son. It's really sick. Another really gross aspect of xnh is that he is equally obsessed with his oldest hideous P daughter. The way they behave is almost incestuous, along with his fixation with his mommy. Xnh's daughter is 21 years old. She's still living with him on welfare, and recently had a baby by her gang boyfriend. Xnh ran the boyfriend out of the picture the second she got pregnant, and seemed to take up the "lover" place (at least emotionally, and I truly don't want to know about anything else). Xnh acts more like her lover than her father. Xnh went so far as to bring in his daughter's sonogram pictures to work, and pass them around in a work meeting with all of our co-workers to see just like a disgusting slide show presentation. I seriously do NOT want to know if he went into the delivery room with her (but it wouldn't really surprise me if he did). Uck. I found his behavior truly revolting. So did a lot of the co-workers. Incidentally, his hideous P daughter hated me in much the same way as his mother did, and xnh has even managed to sour her on her own mother (his first wife). So between xnh's mommy and his oldest P daughter, xnh may as well forget about ever meeting ANY woman that is "good enough"...not that he's really any great prize. rofl.