Anyone have good things happen in their life after they unloaded the Narc?

For some it does not change this quickly so this is great news for you. Sometimes the recovery period towards the good stuff is a bit longer. You are on a wonderful roll here, so happy for you. Congrats on the new job! God bless, Goldie

I was just thinking this today... how good things seems to happen when he's out of my life. I'm more 'present' around others and aware to new opportunities. It's as though having a narc in your sacred inner circle throws out the balance of the universe and interrupts the 'flow of life'. Good things happen when we block them from our lives. Bad things happen when we allow them back in. 8 weeks NC and feeling strong, positive and ALIVE. Great post, isn't it beautiful to get yourself back and start living again! Peace. Pearl.

Yes, my stomach ulcer that I had acquired from the daily soap opera/rollercoaster that was my friendship with my N, immediately stopped acting up. I was literally throwing up everyday for the last year of our friendship (we were roommates for the last 8 months) & then when she left so did my symptoms.

It has been almost 10 months since I dumped the ex N and yes, so many good things have happened to me since. I got my own apartment, I go out more and socialize more and now have more friends than before and my art career has taken off also. I also sleep much better and have less black shadows lurking around in my mind. Oh, I don't know if this counts but my adult acne has stopped also. Maybe it's not related to my life post ex N. I used to be stressed out but no more :)

right on! I'm at almost 10 months out and here are a few observations. I do not get sick. I haven't been sick since the D & D (and my father died after that even). When I was in the disordered relationship I was constantly ill, every three months or so physically ill. People comment on how I look! People actually say "wow, you look great!" and it amazes me. These are unsolicited comments from business acquaintances and people I only randomly see. I laugh a lot and find humor in a lot of things. When I was with the disordered one I was constantly stressed out, oppressed, worried, tied up in knots. Maybe since I'm none of those things my looks have improved, I don't know? I have met some interesting, funny, non-disordered, HOT men and have gone out and had fun. Nothing heavy. No 'soulmate' attached at the hip thing, just respect, laughter, connection, good humor and lightness of being. I absolutely love it. I can handle the stresses of my bills, my aging home and its problems, flat tire, car getting rear ended, etc. much better than I ever did in the six years of hell I endured. I allowed the disordered one to be so all consuming that when something else happened on top of that I could barely handle it. I no longer obsess about the disordered one nearly as much (hardly at all) and I no longer find even one good thing to say about him (except for the bizarre the fact that the D & D turns out to be the BEST thing that has happened to me in SIX PLUS years!) I now understand why he didn't want me to have friends, associate with my family or anything that would make me strong. As it turns out, people like me and he knew it and was intimidated! HE SHOULD BE! Turns out I have the full, happy, challenging, fun life that attracted him in the first place AND HE'LL NEVER GET ANYWHERE NEAR IT AGAIN. I love it! Most sincerely, (not) spinning. AND IT FEELS GREAT!

1. Health. I've focused in my health and I feel great! I'm getting stronger and have lost quite a few pounds. It's wonderful. 2. My children are happier. I can actually SEE them. Before I was so overburdened with the N's needs that I really couldn't focus on them. It's like the glasses have been removed and they are beautiful! 3. I'm going back to school! After years of N complaining that it's not what I should be doing I'm DOING it! Yay! 4. I'm cleaning house so to speak. All of the people that I had allowed into my life were people who had lies and secrets like I did. I faked the good life with N for so long. Now I'm finding that healthy people are showing up in my life. They are 'normal' and happy and successful. It's so nice! 5. I think of me. What do I want to do? What do I want to eat? Do I want to do the dishes? Do I want to drive? These are not normal questions for me. N made most of the decisions. And not directly. He controlled with his moods, his silence, his anger, by withdrawling, by looking a certain look, by walking a certain way. It got so bad that the kids and I would hear his truck and cring! Even decisions that I made alone I made thinking about what N would think about it. He didn't drink but really had an alcoholics personality. I could go on and on. Thank you for getting all of us thinking positive!

Yes, life is good! Went out for dinner tonight - not a 'date' yet, but 2nd time, and will go again next week. No phone calls inbetween, just short where & when's. No e-mail or text. No illusions, but hours of great conversations, no touch or hug so far, yet kind of romantic with real snail-mail thank-you notes . . . Totally different from any of my previous online dating experiences - just one step at a time. May become a friendship 'only', who knows. We met through our kids being friends. He is a single granddad, raising the two 10 and 12-year old daughters of his late wife's irresponsible son who they had taken in about 10 years ago. Will have to think hard if that would be something I would want to join in . . . quite a responsibility all over again. YES, paying attention to my needs for a change!

LIFE IS GOOD! A MESSAGE I AM FOREVER SENDING HERE AND IN MY PERSONAL WORLD. WE CAN'T LET THESE MORONIC MEN (AND WOMEN) CONTROL OUR DESTINY. YES, BE HUNG UP ON THEM, BUT ONLY FOR A LITTLE WHILE........LIFE IS SHORT, AND THE OLDER WE GET, THE SHORTER IT GETS............I KNOW ONE THING FOR SURE, I DONT WANT TO BE SITTING IN A ROCKING CHAIR ON MY FRONT PORCH YEARS FROM NOW FULL OF REGRET. I AM GOING TO GET THE MOST OUT OF EACH AND EVERY STINKING DAY THAT I AM ON THIS PLANET!

I came home from work and I had literally nothing to do. At first I thought to myself I am so bored and lonely but then I sat down and just relaxed and listened to the silence and it ocurred to me maybe this is what peace feels like. I hadn't had peace in my life for so long I forgot what it sounded like and I forgot what it felt like. I was mistaking it for bordom and loneliness. So peace has been my big reward. My relationship with my kids has gotten much better, still need to work on the one with my son. I guess since he was older he understood things better and he saw me putting up with things I shouldn't have. I think he started to lose respect for me. But we are getting there. Joy2me

I loved reading what positive things have occured in your life. That's awesome news! For me: * I healed from my childhood pains of needing validation * My relationship with God has grown * I have developed new friendships * I don't allow negative, toxic people in my life anymore * I stand up for myself now, and if people don't like it, then they can leave my life * I'm more emotionally and mentally ''present'' for my kids I could name a lot more things, I'm sure I'll come up with more. lol Great idea for a thread! :=)

There are those anti-suicide "It gets better" vids for LGBT people who've suffered bullying. And when it comes to narcissistic abuse, it can ONLY get better once they're out of your life! When I was out of the Narc workplace of 5 years, I was energized and happy in my job search! At first, it was brutal&I was in shock. But I realized how happy I was once I left. The ex-Psych prof married his girlfriend instead of me a decade ago... and I'm THANKFUL!!!! He was a TOTAL NEGATIVE BORE. Marrying him would've been a loss. He can obsess on "War and Peace" to his heart's content, and I have a LIFE of my own!

Great post!! Keep this Buzz alive! I never lacked anything, with or without him! I do know the longer I'd tolerate his BS the lower I would have become! I've traveled all summer long. Far more interesting than walking a dog around the block! I like my life, who needs the Dog Whisperer in it! Hunter

Well apart from no longer feeling anxious or walking on eggshells, and constantly trying to please a man who could never be pleased, I am still struggling by myself with loneliness and trying to find work...it is tough. You seem to be doing better and I am happy for you, I have no support system where I am which doesn't help.