Anticipating the Property Settlement - Adjusting my attitude and perspective.

Anticipating the Property Settlement

I have been advised to stop anticipating his actions -- and I agree.

However, I feel like I do need advice regarding how to proceed with property settlement. Many of you, I feel, know me quite well - so I really take your advice to heart.

Here's what I know/believe:

1) He will try to drag this out in order to punish me. Even though he is getting remarried soon -- before the mediation date -- he will try to drag it out. To waste my time. To waste my money. Money matters to him in that he wants all of it and more of it, but he also feels like he is a money machine, and that he can always make more, so it's no big deal to punish Abreva.

2) He in NO WAY wants to go to court. That is to my advantage. He doesn't want to be scrutinized financially -- he doesn't want to be exposed -- I have a lot to say to a judge that could be a real problem for EXNH-Psychopath if it became a FACT in court. I could run with it in a civil lawsuit and cause problems for him professionally. What I have to say in court could also get me a whole lot more money.

3) He will lie and cheat as much as possible to give me as little as possible -- and to confound the process.

Mediation is coming up. I have a great lawyer. The EXNH-Pscyhopath has a great lawyer (who I think is personality disordered N and maybe P).

I could;

1) Fight. Fight for my rights. Fight for the money. Etc. This will take up time. This will take up energy. This will take up money. Will I be a different (better/stronger) person on the other side of it? Probably. Is it worth it? I don't know.

2) Accept an acceptable settlement and get on with my life. I would be financially severed and free. I would be free to purchase a home (a cheap home if the money isn't good, a larger home if the money is okay). But I'd be able to lay it all to rest. I wouldn't have it hanging over my head.

He might "screw me" if I settle - but he's already screwed me backwards and forwards -- and I'd be FREE. (I left him nearly TWO years ago!)

I fought hard for custody, and in the end I regret settling, though I did the best I could at the time, and I trusted my lawyers who were good lawyers, and they begged me to settle, and I understand why I did it, and it could have been the right thing to do, and it's over.

I have plenty of fight left in me. Plenty of endurance for this non-sense. But I also would like my freedom VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY much. Very. Seriously. Very much. I really want to wash my hands of it. But seriously, I can delay. I really can.

I'm fine with facing my fears. I have a lot of patience and endurance. I can stand up for myself.

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