Another point of view from the OW

Hi everyone. I have been reading non-stop during the holiday down time. I came across this post from a member who was married to a N and struggling with being discarded for another woman.

http://www.lisaescott.com/forum/2012/11/03/what-do-you-all-think-about-q...

In summary, she was questioning if the N would stay with the new supply if she was "good" supply. Deidre99 responded: "Here's what will help you, I think. A NARCISSIST IS ALWAYS ON THE HUNT. THE MINUTE YOU SAID I LOVE YOU/I DO, HE WAS ON THE HUNT FOR NEW SUPPLY. Not when your marriage hit a roadblock or fights started, but FROM DAY ONE of when he sensed he 'had' you."

As the exOW to a married N, I would like to offer some insight to those of you struggling with this. Although I know my N was a liar like all narcs, I believe he shared a few truths with me regarding his marriage.

His wife was his "high-school sweetheart." They married at 20. He told me he married her because he was in the military and he got better housing being married, that she kept his belly full (a good cook), and he was getting a piece of ass in high school. One time when he was very drunk, he told me that he did not think he ever loved her. Another time he told me he had "to fake it" sometimes (referring to having sex with her). He had many issues sexually but that's another topic. He said that he once caught her (because he had spyware on her computer) corresponding with an ex BF and he was going to file for divorce. He moved out for a week but the children missed him so he went home. He said they went to counseling and that she said she was happy to have the house and children. He told the therapist he wanted a partner, not a roommate. He said there was an abuse situation with someone in her family and their child and he had to stay to protect his children. As a result, she never sees her family anymore. All of this was said as a way to make me think he was not happily married but couldn't leave her. In contrast, he also said they get along, never fight, she has dinner on the table every night, maintains the house, pays the bills, "works" from home taking care of his brother's children, is a loving mother, and she's beautiful. Yet she has no friends, is introverted, and not social. On weekends, they are always together spending time with his family. Looking back, I now see how he was manipulating and controlling her. He has isolated her from her family and friends so that she must rely on him. He told me once he did not want to "mess up his situation" and when he left her, it would be on his terms. He has been cheating on her since they got married. There are so many red flags here. But my point is, she is great supply. She probably thinks he is a devoted, loving, hard-working husband. She has done nothing wrong yet it is not enough for him. He is always looking for new primary supply. She is the great secondary supply. He doesn't stay with her because he loves her. He stays because she takes care of him and does not question him. He gets to lead a double life. So sick. He has her fooled. He had me fooled. We are ALL the OW.