An Amazing Gift

For a period of several years early in my marriage I was primarily a stay-at-home, work-at-home mom. Despite the negative attitude and behaviors of my ex, I did enjoy my children very much and my circle of friends and family.

However, as all of you may relate, I was very discouraged over not being able to have the love I expended toward the most important person in my life--my husband—have much of an effect, it seemed.

This was not only discouraging it was also frustrating and heartbreaking at times.

It seemed I could go only so far loving, extending understanding, compassion and kindness toward him (not that I was perfect and didn’t have my share of faults) and then the rejection.

Then I went back to working outside the home.

And my world changed forever.

I worked at the time in a classroom for learning disabled and otherwise challenged students. It was hard work, and some of our students were pretty difficult to work with. But
I loved it.

The work was also therapeutic and affirming.

Here, in this challenging classroom, I could give a lot of love--and see results!

Yes, sometimes a student here or there would defy me and perhaps dislike me, but for the most part, they received my love, encouragement, compassion, care, and, oh yes, instruction.

This was a HUGE piece of my recovery at the time.

(I also realized that as scary as some of the SED [seriously emotionally disturbed] students were at times [and we usually had one or two in the mix], I realized I had lived with the Master of Bad Behavior. These kids were a piece of cake to deal with!)

I began to re-flourish, if that is a term, as a human being with a LOT of love to give, because human beings need to not only love others, but to have that love received by others. But you see why this is hard to describe, because obviously not all students love or even appreciate their teachers! Perhaps someone else can elaborate and enhance this dynamic as it relates to an abusive relationship.

But, here in the midst of this gift-giving season, I share it with you, though maybe, figuratively speaking, it lacks a pretty wrap and a bow, because despite the fact that you may have heard you are not “a giver, but a taker,” despite the fact that you may have heard that “it’s all about you all the time,” or that you “just don’t know how to love (him),” just stop for a minute and take stock of the love you have given that HAS been received, the people you HAVE helped become better or happier or more successful. And be greatly encouraged.

One of my expressions this past year of my recovery has been this: “I am NOT the criticisms and accusations hurled at me.”

One of my affirmations has been: “I AM a loving person.”

~ ~ ~

Give yourself the gift of reinforcing the truth of who you really are this Christmas, and spend a lot of time with those who not only receive your love but give you back the same, as you so deserve.

Blessings, hope, and Merry Christmas,
Abigail