Am I really recovering???

Have had NC for months. I'm busy with work and trying to keep connectins with friends, hobbies, family, etc. Still going to therapy but not as often as when the D&D happened. I am so much better than I was 6 months ago... but feel hollow inside. I still relive, over and over again, the events that led to my meltdown. I live in fear of seeing him again. I imagine what I would, or would not, say to him if I were to see him again. I am better than I was, but just feel frozen in place. Can't imagine opening up to another man, and usually feel ok just hanging out at home with my dog and working 12 hour days every day. My "youth" is slipping away, and I just don't have the energy or courage to open my heart again. Usually I'm ok, but am afraid I am turning into a hermit out of cowardice. My wonderful therapist said that I need to get back out there... but I just have no energy or guts to get hurt again. Oh dear Path Forward friends, do you have any words of advice?