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Am I going crazy?

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#1 Nov 21 - 11AM
apple
apple's picture

Am I going crazy?

I am changing my phone number today. I have tried time and time again to go NC. I always fail. He came back super sweet and persistent this time. I almost started to think he was a normal person. I kept telling myself over and over "he is capable of anything at any point."

This is what happened yesterday after he did not hear from me for two days. I NEVER initiate contact. I have learned time and time again that WHATEVER his response to me is... it won't be good.

11:20 P.M. HIM- I miss you baby,

11:42 P.m. Him- You must be on a date, or fucking some dude.

5:10 A.M. Me- What the hell? I just woke up. Why are you being like that?

5:16 A.M. Me- I've been going to bed super early and waking up early. It's not nice to accuse me of that when I'm not doing anything wrong.

9:58 A.M. Him- Well you're always too "busy" to talk to me.

10:01 A.M. Me- No, I'm not. I always text you back.

10:04 A.m. Him- Whatever. You think you're too good for me.

10:06 A.m. Me- Whay are you saying that?

him- cuz its true.

Me- You're doing it again. You're attacking me in a way that makes it imposssible for me to stick up for myself. I have never said or even thought that. I have done nothing wrong.

him- Yeah, you are never wrong.

Me- I'm not saying that. I just don't know why you are saying that complelely out of the blue. What did I do that pissed you off?

him- You still horny for me?

Me- Yeah. Are you working to day? When do I get to see you?

him- Soon if your nice to me.

Me- haha. You're funny.

him- I'm gonna punish you extra now.

Me- No you won't

5:53 p.m. him- I get off around 11. You should make love to me tonight.

(its a three hour drive over a snowy pass)

6:00 p.m. me- would I have to leave at eleven tonight?

6:08 p.m. Him- No you could probably leave at nine.

6:28 p.m. Me- Okay. So are you gonna tell me when to leave or should I just leave at 9?

7:29 p.m. Me- Can I leave at 8:15 instead of nine? I can just wait for you at a bar or something. I think its gonna take me a really long time.

8:39 p.m. Him- Here's the deal. I have to work early. So this would be quick. It might not be worth it for you. I heard the roads bad too.

8:40 p.m. him- I5 is closed over the siskiyou summit

8:42 p.m. him We are getting super busy too. Don't know when I will get to leave.

8:48 p.m. Me- okay

9:57 p.m. him- okay what?

11:10 p.m. him- whats the deal?

11:13 p.m. me- huh? I thought you said highway was closed down and you had to work.

11:15 p.m. him- that's not what I said

11:16 p.m. me- I'm confused now.

11:20 p.m. him- I said I5 was closed. And we were busy. You don't take I5. Your roads are just icy. And I'm still getting off on time. But whatever.

11:26 p.m. me.. Oh. Sorry! I completly confused what you were saying.

11:30 him- well thats why I tried to clarify with you but you didn't answer me.

11:35 me-I didn't understand. I thought you were telling me tonight wouldn't work.

12:07 him- It's fine. I'll just masturbate. I don't think you wanted to see me anyway.

NO RESPONSE

Can you please tell me if I'm going crazy? Did I miss something? I would love your brutal honesty. Sorry, this was so long. But, I'm sooo confused. If its me, will you guys please tell me?

Nov 21 - 2PM
Used
Used's picture

cherrybloossom

omg...how can you even reply to this TOSSPOT!!!, you were prepared to go all that way for WHAT? to be told when to leave, omg omg, i can feel a tantrum coming on!!!!
Nov 21 - 2PM (Reply to #20)
Briseis
Briseis's picture

Used, come join us down the

Used, come join us down the thread. Mariline, Jen, Cherryblossom and I are laughing our asses off at Mariline's OH SO PERFECT response :D Shrieking with laughter is ever so much more FUN than a tantrum :D
Nov 21 - 2PM (Reply to #23)
Used
Used's picture

Shrieking with laughter is

Shrieking with laughter is ever so much more FUN than a tantrum :D you wouldnt say that if you witnessed my TANTRUMS...they put the narcs to shame.... rock on mariline, but i so agree if s someone wants me they have to work for it, and then i say NO!! i thought this was a wind up at first, specially the bit where he said DO YOU FEEL HORNY....i would have said yes, so now i will go and find my self a man...not a fucking hand puppet!!!
Nov 21 - 2PM (Reply to #24)
apple
apple's picture

hahaha!!!

I can't take this. Brisies, that has to be the best new slogan/saying I have ever heard. This is what will happen... You will yell she's not your sex dispenser ass face!!! And then used can jump out and hit him with a sock puppet while I'm running around with my hair on fire. lol My whole body just feels shaken with anxiety right now. I can't stand feeling this way. If I wasn't laughing I would be crying right now. Although, I feel so numb I don't even think I could cry if I wanted too. I don't know if that makes any sense.
Nov 21 - 2PM (Reply to #21)
apple
apple's picture

hahahah!!!!

lololololo's. Can you please please make it a board rule that Mariline has to reply to all threads. haha!!
Nov 21 - 2PM (Reply to #22)
Briseis
Briseis's picture

I'll send that up to Betty

I'll send that up to Betty and Lisa :D
Nov 21 - 12PM
Briseis
Briseis's picture

. . . . Cherryblossom???

Ummmm . . . . are you seriously asking us if YOU are crazy? :D The ONLY "crazy" I saw is how you agreed to go see him after he clearly verbally abused and mindfucked you in the first few texts. Other than that, you are clear as a bell. He, however, is a disgusting, manipulative, abusive Prick on legs. Man what a revolting excuse for a "male" of the species. No honey it's NOT you. The only thing I saw you do was try and communicate with him by asking "why" and then agreeing, after he verbally abused and mindfucked you, to have sex with him. All the rest of the crazy is GLARINGLY him.
Nov 21 - 12PM
Mariline
Mariline's picture

Let me understand...(sorry I

Let me understand...(sorry I am going to be graphic here) (in a very affectionate way...all my anger is directed towars this "man") You should go on an ICY road at night risking your life in order to allow him to have sex? Sister: you are not going to do this for this man, and lesson number one: you are not going to do this for ANY man from now on. If he or anybody else wnats to fuck, he will have to work for it. Second, please read again what you have written. He has been arrogant and outrageously offensive. He said one thing and then he turned the tables to accuse you, this was his intention from the beginning, it is clear. Change your number and run like if your hair are on fire!!!! And do not even try to go on an icy road for his arse. He does not deserve it!!!! If he wants to see you he must be the one to come and pick you up, at least. Please take back your dignity, dear. ((hugs))) and by the way, no you are not going crazy. At all. Especially if you change the number and never look back.
Nov 21 - 7PM (Reply to #17)
almostlydia
almostlydia's picture

Amen, Mariline. I got it

Amen, Mariline. I got it just fine in english and how perfect it was in any language. almostlydia

almostlydia

Nov 21 - 12PM (Reply to #9)
jen79
jen79's picture

Marline LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If he or anybody else wnats to fuck, he will have to work for it. hahahahahahaha this made my day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Nov 21 - 1PM (Reply to #10)
Mariline
Mariline's picture

ehm.....what did I say of so

ehm.....what did I say of so funny??? :-))))
Nov 21 - 1PM (Reply to #11)
Briseis
Briseis's picture

Not a thing Mariline :D

There wasn't a single funny THING in what you wrote (though I am laughing my ass off, go figure on that one). Seriously, ladies. Who's got the bacon? Who's got the milk? WHO'S GOT THE GOODS??????? You are not a Pez Dispenser for his DICK.
Nov 21 - 2PM (Reply to #12)
Mariline
Mariline's picture

if someone is going to give

if someone is going to give an explanation I would appreciate it, or I will start answering in Italian :-))))) and laughinh my ass off too
Nov 21 - 2PM (Reply to #16)
jen79
jen79's picture

LOOOl Marline

Sister: you are not going to do this for this man, and lesson number one: you are not going to do this for ANY man from now on. If he or anybody else wnats to fuck, he will have to work for it. its just this kind of tough love, right spot on talk, that is so funny, its kind of releasing...I am still laughing lool. You just hit the a nail.
Nov 21 - 2PM (Reply to #14)
apple
apple's picture

omg!! You guys...

You guys are cracking me up. Thanks for making my day brighter.=) Hmmm... I'm with Briseis though. I can't pin point exactly what was so funny about your post, Mariline. I think your personality and brutal honesty just shone through and it put a huge smile on my face. It feels good to laugh right now. My hair has been on fire for sometime now. I think it burned my brain out. Okay, my jokes are dumb. lol And Briseis... Pez dispencer? lololololo's Where do you come up with this stuff??
Nov 21 - 2PM (Reply to #15)
Briseis
Briseis's picture

Cherryblossom

I got the Pez Dispenser from the "Gifts from the Narc" thread a while back. One of the ladies here got a Pez Dispenser from the Narc as a gift. And after I read that, I had this amazing revelations . . . almost a sacred one . . . that this is what Narcs want us to be, for them. Pez Dispensers. Lift up your head and out pops a candy. Or a BJ.
Nov 21 - 2PM (Reply to #13)
Briseis
Briseis's picture

Oh god, not in Italian

Oh god, not in Italian :D Don't make me drag out my Babelfish it will probably make what you say even funnier and I will pee on my bed. What is "funny" is that what you said to Cherryblossom is so TRUE. So absolutely, perfectly true. So right, so wonderfully powerful. It is ABSURD, and a sure sign of a Narc relationship, when a woman who has the GOODS is willing to drive over an icy mountain pass (I live in the same state Cherry lives in, so I know that pass) to give her GOODS to a man who has just verbally abused her and expects her to risk her life to bring her GOODS to him. It is a bitter kind of laughter, because you nailed it, girlfriend. What a surprisingly FRESH perspective you brought to everyone with that one post of yours :)
Nov 21 - 12PM (Reply to #8)
apple
apple's picture

Mariline

Thank You!! I'm going to reread it right now. Jen is making me cry. You are making me laugh. I feel a lot better now. You guys Rock!!
Nov 21 - 12PM
jen79
jen79's picture

cherry

I am sorry, I got your message on fb, and I have totally forgotten to answer you, being my pity self all day and night, I am so sorry, I am turning into a NARC!!!! So this is what he texted to you, its unbelievable his sense of entitlement. He is playing with you, thats all. This is so sick that I dont even know what to say. You are such a sweet classy woman, and he is right, you ARE too good for him. Stay true to yourself, sweetie, always, stay true to yourself. Deep in you, you know what you want, and you know that you want a genuine interaction with humans. And you can feel he is a very disturbed, disconnected being, that deserves only your compassion, thats it. He is a lost soul, totally crazy...Be lucky, he didnt come!
Nov 21 - 12PM (Reply to #5)
apple
apple's picture

Jen...

You just made me cry. The only good that has come from this is the new support and friends I have made on this site. I really really am gonna do it this time. I have no other options.
Nov 21 - 12PM (Reply to #6)
jen79
jen79's picture

Cherry left you a message on fb!

My sweet classy wonderful beautiful friend. He is like gollum, and you are Arwen, thats how much you match each other, you deserve a Arargon, a really sweet classy gentlemen, thats what you deserve, not this little gollum loser wanker.
Nov 21 - 12PM
desprathousewife
desprathousewife's picture

Cherry

I'm not good with the advise yet just with receiving it and trying to cheer peeps up...BUT He is fucking with your mind here. Twisting everything, trying to make you hoop jump, blaming and gaslighting. ALL the classic narc signs. Others here will give you fab advise and analise all that. My main advise is NC NC NC, you don't need this guy messing with your head any longer. Research his condition, make it sink in and take firm action with NC. You can do it girl, it really is the only thing that works and once you realise that and go through the pain that will follow, you will come out the other side and be able to have a healthy future and complete peace of mind at last.
Nov 21 - 12PM (Reply to #2)
apple
apple's picture

Thanks desperathousewife!!!

Thank You. My head is spinning with confusion. I have no idea what happened and yet I know what I think happened. He is punishing me for not kissing his ass all time like I have for the last three years. I can spot his manipulations from a mile away yet when its happening... I really don't know. I have to escape from this. Thanks for helping me!! xxA
Nov 21 - 1PM (Reply to #3)
desprathousewife
desprathousewife's picture

Thats what they do Cherry,

Thats what they do Cherry, spin your head so you can't think straight. It's all part of their having control and being able to manipulate you. Even if you KISSED HIS ASS DAY AND NIGHT he'd still punsih you you know. Theses guys feed on our pain and misery even more than our love and devotion. The longer you stay in this the harder it's gonna get, do like lovely Mariline said and 'run like your hair is on fire' :) she knows what she is talking about :)