Almost not worth my time but

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#1 Jan 8 - 3PM
Je Suis
Je Suis's picture

Almost not worth my time but

I said it months ago, but since then have unpacked the baggage that was our "relationship" with the help of this board, several professionals and personal introspection.

I cannot even picture you anymore. I suppose this is because who-I-though-you-were did not exist. I'm glad I can't picture you.

I understand that you are psychologically ill. I am empowered by the fact that, although you tried to make me think there was something wrong with me, there wasn't. I am stronger knowing that I am better off without whoever-you-are. I am saddened that you will continue to play this game with someone else, but choose not to dwell on it. Someday you will mess with the wrong person, or maybe you will just live out your miserable life. I don't really care. You aren't getting any younger, and your pool of supply will begin to dry up.

I will know better next time someone rushes me with charm, and mirrors me and flatters me. I will know to listen to the creepy feelings and inconsistencies (lies) I got from the start. I know how the game works now, and realize that I have won the game you played with me. Because I don't have to play anymore. The game is all that you have.

I seriously wouldn't have continued the relationship those last months of devalutation if I hadn't had a glimmer of hope that I might be wrong about you. Thank you for the final puzzle peace that gave me the clarity to walk away. Thank you for modeling the extreme example of emotional manipulation and cruelty. Everything that exists contains its opposite-- now I will know extreme authenticy, integrity and love when I see it.

Today I celebrate my life. My chosen path, my peace of mind, and my healed soul.

God help you.

Je Suis

Feb 9 - 12PM
Phoenix2012's picture

Beautiful letter....

I hope I get to the point soon where I don't remember him. It's been almost 2 months, and he is fading. You are so strong--you give me hope!
Feb 8 - 8PM
pamela1's picture

I could not have said it

I could not have said it better myself. You walked away and still have your dignity and grace.....Keep healing.... Thanks for sharing.
Jan 11 - 3PM
HardToBelieve's picture


Beautiful, just beautiful!!
Jan 9 - 9AM
aquabella's picture

Wow...this really hit home

Wow...this really hit home for me. From the 'creepy feelings' and 'inconsistencies' in the beginning to the 'glimmer of hope' and the 'final puzzle piece' at the end. Thank you for sharing this, Je Suis xoxo Lynn
Jan 8 - 3PM
Tigerlily's picture

Wow, lovely!

Great post, Je Suis!
Jan 8 - 3PM (Reply to #2)
Je Suis
Je Suis's picture

Thanks, Tigerlily...

I am so happy that I didn't do this months ago, but only now when I'm truly okay! Thanks to you and all for your insights and support! Je Suis