For all of you...

I found this board by googling financial and emotional abuse...after vomitting one morning because I had mercy sex = sex to keep the peace...AGAIN.

I have read DAILY for at least an hour, I went back to page 1. It is because of this board I have made a step forward.

I have been with N 17 years and he never married me. My experience mirrors many of yours, no need to get into details.

Somehow, putting a name on ALL OF THIS has given me a sense of "OMG IT ISN'T ME...PRAISE GOD!"

I have made an exit plan, I am staring fear in the face with a racing heat, vomiting and shaking hands, but I am done. God put this forum in front of me for a reason, he is giving me the shove I need.

N is mean and intimidating, size and personality, but I must take care of myself.

Yesterday, I got the door slammed in my face 3 times, along with dirty looks and hung up on...to wake up to a hand on my stomach...OH HELL NO! I stood up (it was 6 am) and walked outside with the dog.

Well OMG, that ruined the morning, BUT it was the first time I didn't 'just do it' to keep peace in my life.

HELL-A-FRICK-IN-U-LLAHHHHHHHHHH...is all I can say. I have a voice, I have finally founf the strength, it's time for me!

PRAYERS for everyone here to find peace and love. THANK GOD for this board, the info and validation that it's NOT ME is exactly what I needed. THANK YOU all for sharing, keep sharing!

Thank you Barbara for all of your time here...WE LOVE YOU! Thank you Carolyn, you have shed light on a lot of things, I think I need vitamins, my hair is falling out, I think I have adrenal failure, you are a God send to us as well.

Pray for me (or cross your fingers if you are not the praying type) as I pray for all of you.