Agoraphobic

5 posts / 0 new
Last post
#1 Apr 11 - 8AM
dudette
dudette's picture

Agoraphobic

The thing is, I have done NC, I have kept away from his hometown, I have deleted my FB account, I have thrown away my old phone and the sim card that went with it and I have generally kept a low profile at work to avoid the second OW ( since the official OW is only here at the week-end)

But - the second OW he has chosen works in my organisation, last friday he was seen in MY hometown by my friend with a woman and last week they were nearly having lunch in the same restaurant where I was with my team.... not by design I am sure. How could he have known....( same story, she turned up and left 45 mns alone, after she saw me and must have warned him - she must have felt like a stupid fool as he still left her to marinate for 45mns on her own before making a change of plans)

Now it is the holidays. Official OW will be down here but he still be working and probably going out to lunch and hotels with the other one....

I am dreading an encounter of the narc.... but there is nowhere left to hide!!! double whammy of OWs and him juggling them both plus some more I am sure....

I am turning seriously agoraphobic....I only feel safe in my house with the shutters off and the curtains drawn or in the garden....

Do others feel this way?

Apr 11 - 9AM
Used
Used's picture

dudette

i know where you are coming from, i too went thru this not wanting to go out, he lives near me, then one day i said to my self,I DONT FXXXING THINK SO, so i faced my demons and i do that every time i go out, the irony when i began doing it, he disappeared for a while, he is back now.AND SO AM I,he has messed up enough of your life dont let him do it again,sometimes i only go out for a quick coffee, dont talk to any one, just read the papers and come home, do not let this scumbag win, even if you go out for a walk anything just dont let him destroy who you are nowxx
Apr 11 - 8AM
dudette
dudette's picture

and a strange thing happened...

Oddly though, I think I drove past him late last week. I was getting my son from the childminder. I had the window down and the music on and my sunglasses on.... I sort of registered someone who looked like him in a car, I then realized that it was the company car, not his and that's why I did not register it begin with.....but too late.... I think I ignored him without realizing ..... not quite sure what he would make of that.....
Apr 11 - 8AM
helldweller
helldweller's picture

Agoraphobic

Yes, yes. I feel this way as well. I've shut myself up in the house, though I love walks and movies and going out with my daughters. They are about to kill each other because we don't go anywhere or do anything. Part of it is wanting to avoid him, and part of it wanting to avoid everything and everyone. I don't know what advice to give you. Hopefully you will not run into him but prepare yourself, maybe going through some emergency scenarios or something? What a shame that we end up hiding from the world, from life. :(
Apr 11 - 8AM (Reply to #2)
dudette
dudette's picture

Helldweller

thank you, that is exactly how I feel. I don't really want to socialize either..... Although it's easter and lots of stuff going on, I don't want to see anyone or take part in anything....