After 13 months NC,

I am crying tonite and I can't figure out why . It is NOT coming from I want him back or anything like that..... It feels more like I am angry that he did so much damage to me and got away with it. I am angry at the lies he told about me, making me out to be a psycho.... That infuriates me and he got away with it ....... Sorry if I sound like a big baby, but I think I am angry at the fact that he and the OW just got away with it ...... I need some words to bring me back to reality !!!!!