12 Days Out

12 days ago I escaped my N. We were in a common law relationship for 9 years. I planned my escape with the assistance of CFS, councelling, family, police and friends.
I'm going through the common hoovering at the moment. He is suddenly being all the things I wanted him to be over the last 9 years. All of a sudden he is father of the year, and flushed me out of hiding just 2 days after leaving over his concern for his children (he had lawyers send letters to my family). He is a changed man ever since that fateful day.
He's acknowledging everything that he wasn't during our relationship. The only thing he isn't acknowledging is that the abuse existed.
I'm trying NC, he is everywhere. I cannot hide. He has the kids this weekend, when I answer the phone, they're talking then they put the phone to him. He sends the I'm sorry texts. I am supposed to forgive and forget the last 9 years of emotional torture by not only him, but from his kids as well...the step kids who all of a sudden consider me mom. Right, after telling me just 6 months ago they never accepted me from day one. They can take their mother's day flowers and scripted apologies and shove it. The texts from the exstepkids stating "hi mom", how do you think that's supposed to make me feel when you never, ever once called me mom. It's more of a slap in the face.
I don't want him in my head, I want him gone. I don't want to play his game, when I hear his ugly voice I get upset at his sweetness, saying that he will change for me. What don't you get dickhead, you had 9 years to change and you never did. He still gets to me. I hear his lies loud and clear. And he's the one that tells me that I don't know what love is. I do because I love my kids enough to get them out of hell, they deserve so much better, that's where my love is.
This is my first post, and I'm glad to be here among amazing people who know exactly what I'm going through. I really want this fog to lift soon, I want to be strong minded enough to tell him to go where I should have told him to go 9 years ago....to rot in a bad place. I will survive...I hope.
I can see why people would want to return to their N, it's much easier than moving forward.