Questions

One of our fellow posters saw a picture of the ex-Psych professor (because her N as the SAME B-DAY as the ex-P) and called him a "fat grandpa." It's not a flattering picture. The mask of sanity isn't on in that picture. Not even barely. I got a bachelor's degree.... but psychology wasn't part of it, unfortunately. I felt like I've ridden the karma bus, because a year after the D&D, I found out the ex-P's parents were LIVING WITH HIM. Now he had enjoyed being far from his family;he saw it as his freedom. That ended after 5 years. I had always told him that he couldn't always flee the consequences;there would be a point when running away would be impossible. And... his father got him onto a philosophical forum about consequences. After the final D&D, I remember telling the ex-P we were fundamentally, EPIC incompatible. Whether his girlfriend was as much a Narc as him I don't know (both my maternal grandparents were Ns), or just a brainwashed normal person like me, I don't know. She spared me a lifetime of misery. Sometimes God says "NO" and it's for a GREATER YES. God doesn't always give us what we want;He does give us what we NEED.

He strikes me as someone who DESERVES a colonoscopy ;) "I never did know him. And he certainly never knew me."-I think that's why we're so traumatized&saddened here. Normal breakups involve a meeting of the minds--heck drifting apart is less painful than D&D. It's always on the level of acquaintances, even when it goes on for years, even when there's a sexual involvement, even where there are kids&marriage involved. Leo Tolstoy and his wife Sofia were at the level of acquaintances (since Leo was a raging N), despite the fact they were married for 48 years, had 13 kids. After the final D&D, I remember the ex-Psych professor snapping at me, "I was NEVER your friend!" Some Ns/Ps dangle the promise of marriage, moving in, having kids together- the ex-P dangled the carrot of friendship, yet I was always deemed "unworthy." He *EXPECTED* me to stop being Catholic, drop my friends, drop my family to be with him-that trio of sacrifices was too big for me. In his eyes, the fact I didn't attempt suicide when I met his girlfriend, the fact I graduated, the fact that I didn't jump into bed with him, didn't bear his kids--were somehow irrefutable proofs that I did *NOT* love him. With an N/P, it's like you introduce yourself to them-but you can't go beyond "hello" and "goodbye" because it's ALL ABOUT THEM. The ex-P was tight-lipped about himself to a certain extent, and he'd act bored when I talked about myself. He was dismissive of my outside interests. After the final D&D, he'd be telling me that I didn't know how he felt, that I didn't know him.... saying this angrily after I wished him a happy life with his girlfriend. During the final D&D, he told me that I was projecting my positive qualities onto him due to my low self-esteem (he must've been reading&memorizing an NPD website during the D&D), that my relationship with him was a diversion, and that my declaration of love was just an act. "I think I'm the only girlfriend he doesn't talk to"- I got the sense from the ex-P that he had cut off a lot of colleagues&students. Or that a lot simply left him. The ex-P doesn't contact me... thank goodness his parents are living with him, because he's nearly 50, and hasn't left his first childhood.