Problem is I've been there done that, but just goes to show, no one really listens ( including me)
We all need to learn on our own.
Maybe try asking first, before you act! Ivedone all the wrong things, I'm just trying to prevent you more pain!
Idealk
I've been SO good. I would stop myself before and remind myself that peeking will hurt worse than wondering.
But today, the feeling came on to me with lightning speed - you go into a trance!!! Nothing can stop me at that point.
I am just a spaz today.
The new supply is just for show - that is what counts to them - how things look to the outside world - not how they feel about someone - this is low priority. I am going thorough the same thing - he is flashing a flashy younger woman...I do not feel threatened though, just sickened by the superficiality...but that is how it is - zero depth and no growth is relationships - they don't wanna get close - they want supply, good new supply.
Even though it's superficial with this youngin', it still hurts.
She looks like she is 15. He is 20 years older than her. They must look ridiculous together.
I thought I was the one he liked showing off. :(
Except last I spoke he said I was only his "Trophy Girlfriend"
Compliment? HELL NO. F*CK NO! IT CRUSHED ME.
It slapped me hard in the face. I could SWEAR I was more to him than that...Didn't we all?
He knew it would hurt me.
It's strange, because we were best friends for the first 3 years. VERY close. Laughed our asses off together.
Had everything in common.
I know he will never have that with anyone else.
Not sure if that was an act?
So confusing. :(
It is confusing, isn't it?
I had SO much in common with mine, too. And laugh?....OMG we would both laugh so hard.
I truley thought we were "special" together.
But when it comes down to it...the really important things were not there...communication, trust, respect etc.
I don't think it's an act as far as when you have "fun" together they are faking it. I mean I'm sure they had fun with us....but the rest of it...the really meaningful stuff....it just isn;t there. They don't bond or attach like normal people....if they did....none of us would be here....we'd be off having a happy life with them!
It hurts. But it's true.
So I can't really be super clear yet - I am still too blown away. And I also question what the ___was I? I am the same age as xN (bad for his image?). Even though I am his ONLY longterm relationship, he did not ever really ever show me off much though I still look decent and he was very attracted to me. I was more the person he had a home life with and then he would go out alone to be big man in the bars. When we went out (which was not often) we went to restaurants like normal people but he had a secret life in the bars. Remember my xN had been a super star rich guy in the clubs in his youth with that phony crowd.He could never give this lifestyle up even in his 50's. I am a business owner, educator, accomplished athlete and property owner, a grown up - I used to party like he still does but I out grew that crap years ago. I think I was his real life, and then he had his fake outside showing off life, trying to still be young. He seems very excited to show off new GF with pictures of them at bars .. I am way more shocked to see his true values come out and his desperate attempt to project a fake image to others, than jealous. I thought I knew him and had no idea that this is what he really wants. Think how I feel after 10 years he is posting photos of him and a trashy lady he barely knows! I totally thought we were in love and he stopped speaking about 6 weeks after his move. But yeah, I am alone and its hard facing this stuff... I don't think his family and friends will be so impressed with his new supply...I have detached alot from who he is messing with..I just want to recover and pray I do not date such a nutty person again. We were best friends, raised a puppy together and had many wonderful times and a hot romance the whole time so I understand your devastation but this is what they want, to run off and have fresh blood, no real intimacy - so be it. Real love and a real partner makes them uneasy, unhappy and conflicted...they try but it does not work, they just cannot sustain it even if they want to. Its not our faults! There is nothing wrong with us...
TLSM
I will try!
Remember
That makes me sick, ifinallygotit
It is confusing, isn't it?I
I am new in recovery too