Getting stood up?

Funny how all of see this dues true colors! Before the Narc we would most likely give the guy some slack! Teehee Idealk

I think much along your lines and prefer to meet for coffee after a few emails because as you said it is imperative to meet and see if there is any connection, not just endless emails, it is terribly discouraging, I have been on the internet for some time trying to meet a decent man and so far, no luck, I have never seen so many losers or men with no character and integrity and yet they think they are Gods!????I wish i could meet someone the old fashion way.for me that is the biggest reason it has been so slow for me to recover from the Narc, but I am doing so, if for no reason then the passage of time.

Cougar baby, We tend to complicate things. This man is looking for sex, pure and simple. Go N/C and don't respond. He is a playa, they all say they want a relationship, its all crap. Watch the actions. That's all you need to know. Sorry you met another creep, you deserve so much better. Don't waste 5 seconds of your precious time with this joker you are worthy of the real deal!!! Goldie

I think we all have different ways of approaching dating espically on the internet, for me, what works is a few emails and then i will suggest meeting for coffee at a public place and they will have to come to my town, I do not to go driving all over like i would have in the past. I am just not in to endless emails which really tell you nothing about a person, meeting is the only way, but a simple meet so you can escape, like I had to with the guy who would not shut up!I am not in to playing games, like hard to get nor am I desperate, both extremes in my book.

I think if a potential relationship is starting out with you feeling "unsure".....it probably is no good. Trust your gut. You know the answers:) good luck:)

My junior year. The ex-Psych prof would leave me standing at lectures, concerts, and all I got the next day was "I was busy." Talk about a deep explanation.

Get rid of the puppy before you get attached! DELETE! Idealk

First: The conclusion...yes, you were stood up; however, I have some other things I'd like to add... Now, I am a bit conservative so again you can take what applies and leave the rest...but under the circumstances and what you've been though...like all of us...I think a bit of discernment is in order. First - you know the rep of online dating...so yes, that in and of itself you already know the odds... BUT...you said: I met this guy on a dating site a few days ago. We emailed a few times then went onto texting. And just based on that Cougar was all ready to meet this guy for coffee...a VIRTUAL stranger...who may have given "good text" but could be Jack the Ripper or Stripper! Why so soon? AND what message do you think most men will get about anyone who is so quick to meet up for coffee?...Look I'm not saying don the nun costume...but men do like a chase and they can smell despration a mile away...you have to play hard to get...don't jump at the first invite and don't be the one to make the first invite...make him sweat make him work...that will be a good first indicator EVEN though we also know these narcs and egos like a chase and you still could be at risk...make the "mutha" sweat a little. Yesterday he said he was going to call me, twice, but he ended up texting me instead - no call. And you set the boundary by.....? Which gave him what message? Who is training who here? Last night we make plans to meet tonight Because bad behavior by not calling and texting instead is rewarded by making plans...NO Cougar...NO! AND I'm saying this with love... Lets just say that the texting got a little racy. So soon he's "familiar" and we enabled and accepted this behavior then we wonder "why?"...No! Train 'em well! (Bad idea, I know!) okay...I know you know now...;) So today I ask him if he's just looking for the FWB thing & tell him that I ask because THAT is not what I'm looking for. And of course we know that they will tell the truth...right?...NO! NO! NO! remember...we watch actions...words are nothing! Three clues RED FLAGS and you were still willing to go at it...NO! He says "no, I want a real relationship." OK, so far so good, right? Cougar?! Anyway, so he texts me this morning & says that he'll call me when he's done with his yard work & whatever. "Why bother calling - she's accepting the crumbs?" This time he actually calls, which was around 5:30 p.m EDT. Oh my, how lucky! So we talk for a while & then he asks me if I still want him to come over tonight? WHAT??? GAMER...PLAYER...and has it down to a science we can tell from this scenario.... I never said I wanted him to come over. Seriously dude, you think you're coming over to my place for our first date??? YUP that's exactly what he thought because you gave him no indication he should think otherwise - AND I will say in his defense...*don't start throwing tomatoes yet* THAT men in general are dogs by nature unless and until they are trained properly. We are animals, we have needs, they are instinctual and men will try to get away with whatever they can unless they feel that it is worth it to step up their game...if they are single, anything with two legs and an orifice is free game. That is not to say that this same man, trained properly and feels you carry yourself with value will not respect you but initially it's all a test... So I tell him that I'd rather meet in a public place for our first meeting - either a coffee shop or for a drink somewhere. He agrees & tells me that he's going to take a shower, then grab some dinner & will call me back to make plans. That was over 2 1/2 hours ago! Maybe he slipped in the tub?...we can only hope...God forgive me... I'm being stood up, right? Maybe his hamster had a life threatening emergency...things happen...maybe he'll text ya later...grrrr what a jerk! I'm so sorry but you my dear also have to step up your game if you're gonna play. And is anyone here feeling the same way I am, which is that this guy is probably just looking for one thing? Like I said above...we must always assume that is all they are looking for unless proven otherwise which is proven by OUR boundaries and how capable they are of respecting them. Funny how he was right there when he thought he was invited to my place, but now that I told him I'd rather meet in public somewhere, he seems to have disappeared. UGH!!! Well, at least you were saved from a pending disaster... I changed my clothes, did my hair, put on a face (make-up), perfume, etc. for nothing? Lovely. :( OH well, he was probably a Narc anyway. I hope you went out anyway... Hugs!

I have some bad news the guy was after sex and it does not sound like much else, oh did I say sex, finding any decent guys on the internet, I recently moved and had 2 horrible blind dates, emailed first, all that and met both at a bookstore. first nothing, he seemed needy and no physcial attraction, second, a big belly, for ma big turnoff and would NOT stop talking, i am very serious, he went on about his second wife taking him for everything and how he had different lawyers and one had alcohol on his breathe and on and on, I had to get up and leave,I could not get one word in edgewise and he cared nothing about me, asked me not one question, it is very depressing, what can i say, i was never so happy to be back to my own place after the last one!!!If you find a good guy let me now, I will be real happy so many all they want is sex or a statue they can talk to!for me the first date they come to my town and we do coffee in the afternoon, nothing else.