Pictures...

I don't think I have to really worry about this. I did let it consume me at one time. Always trying to keep the door open to his disordered family...sending cards and updates as well as my phone number to them, so they could have contact, worried that some day they would come back to my boys as adults, saying I kept them from seeing our boys. They never have even tried. My exhusband narc obviously has his own family completely brain washed. There were times he was arrested for hurting me, but of course he would call his mother from jail telling her that it had been me who threw him in...generally it would be a neighbor after I may have dragged myself over to their home for help. No, I am in no way gonna let a man who #1 would watch pornography in front of our oldest son, #2 leave the baby and also that same child as a toddler home alone to go buy a beer, #3 took our children on drug deals, even hiding the meth in the car seat with the baby in a blanket, #4 threw me in front of a car and slammed my head into the concrete while drunk, when I was pregnant, #5 chased me with a screwdriver through a courtyard while I was pregnant, #6 had two other children with the new OW taken away and put into protective services...have ANY CONTACT WITH OUR CHILDREN. The judge in the divorce even granted him NO PARENTING TIME. He is a danger to the well being of our kids. The last time he was up here in jail for criminal non support, he wrote me letters telling me how much he wanted me and the kids back, like nothing had ever transpired. Mind you, the whole four years he was gone, he never even said as much as "boo" to our boys. Anyway I told him that if he wanted to have a relationship with our boys, he would have to earn it. He would have to get clean and stay clean, get a job, pay his support, and get his act together. Of course he would say that all that stuff was happening right then, that he was changed and doing all those things...of course, so narcissistic. I told him he could start out by sending them cards and letters, and could call to talk to them. Well whenever he would call, he would say a couple of words to them, then want to talk to me...trying to hoover me back in. Of course the boys didn't have much to say to him cause he virtually was a stranger. He called a total of three times while he was up here for two and a half months. He told me, "this isn't working out, calling them. I need to see them." I said that he had to earn that by being consistent, then he could earn supervised visitation. He said he wouldn't do that unless I was the one supervising. Hmmmmm. Don't think so. I let them see their dad two times. He promised to buy them this and that, but guess what? All his cards were declined at the cash register. Then they saw him throwing a tantrum on the phone to his mother when she wouldn't send him any money when he got out of jail. They both just looked at me like, "this is my dad?" After that, they didn't want me to take them to see him again. What pissed me off is that our son was sick deathly with pneumonia in the hospital and when I called to tell him this, he didn't say anything about it except he was bummed his backpack was stolen from the bus stop!!! I think my boys know what kind of person the ex is without me telling them. They know who has been there for them through thick and thin. My oldest remembers the things he would do and sometimes mentions it and says that he is glad his dad is gone. I always would just tell them that "daddy isn't making some good choices for his life and to pray for him, and love him anyway." They have both gone to some counseling and their counselor say that they are really well adjusted, normal kids. They have my fiance who has been like their dad for the last two years now, and he has great character and love for them...he wants to adopt them eventually. I think despite it all, they have dealt with their dad leaving much better than I have...