1. Home
  2. Forums
  3. Narcissist Forums
  4. The Path Forward Forum
  5. grat articles about the brain function of NPDs

grat articles about the brain function of NPDs

12 posts / 0 new
Last post
#1 Feb 23 - 9AM
jen79
jen79's picture

grat articles about the brain function of NPDs

http://thesexaddictedbrain.typepad.com/my_weblog/narcissistic_personalit...

ver< long, but worth the read!

Feb 24 - 6AM
dupedx2
dupedx2's picture

Thank you for posting those

Thank you for posting those articles. I will read them again. It explains why my narc kept warning me that his heart was "fragile", to "be careful" with it. (Some self awareness on his part) And yet at the same time he was continuing to give me less and less validation and attention to the point that I was ready to totally ditch him because I knew I deserved better than that. He created the exact scenario that he professed to fear the most-"being tossed out". How sad for me, because I do (or is it did?) adore him.
Feb 24 - 2AM
narcissizednomore
narcissizednomore's picture

yes, good articles

This gives me reason to believe there is no fixing this disorder with counseling. It helps to look at it as a physiological brain disorder or chemical imbalance instead of behaviour they have any control over. But then again, if I look at it this way, I will end up feeling sorry for the poor bastard and that's never been a good thing either. I wonder if one day, pharmaceutical companies will come up with a drug to fix the neurotransmitters that aren't firing or are lacking and give them the emotions of empathy, guilt, and connectedness to others. Society needs an anti-narcassistic drug!

narcissizednomore

Feb 24 - 9AM (Reply to #10)
Lisa E. Scott
Lisa E. Scott's picture

Narcissizednomore

Great question! "I wonder if one day, pharmaceutical companies will come up with a drug to fix the neurotransmitters that aren't firing or are lacking and give them the emotions of empathy, guilt, and connectedness to others." I agree that we definitely need an anti-narcissistic drug!!!!
Feb 23 - 11AM
gettinbetter
gettinbetter's picture

Wow! What a great article

Wow! What a great article Jen! This might be one of the best I have ever read and I have read a ton of articles!
Feb 23 - 11AM (Reply to #2)
jen79
jen79's picture

sick of it

Yes I found them very educating. It explains also, why they are only after the rush and cannot really feel any love, cause their brain is damaged so they cannot produce oxytocine. Sad. There is another article where she writes, that they could heal by mediation, since meditation heals the brain regions that are responsable for empathy. Very interesting. This explains why sometimes you hear these miracle stories, of those who changed through finding buddha. (like this "pretty woman" guy, just forgot the name).
Feb 23 - 10PM (Reply to #3)
gettinbetter
gettinbetter's picture

I can't get over what a great

I can't get over what a great article this. I just read them again. I can't believe more people haven't commented. This fascinating stuff and it really connects the dots on how they think and perceive. I will say though in my early days on the board I couldn't have even comprehended this info. I was merely trying to respond to gut wrenching pain. This would have required too much concentration for me to comprehend. Concentration I did not have at the time. I could barely work and get my child to school. So I would say this is for those further along. Fascinating thanks for posting this. Btw glad you are feeling better my friend:)
Feb 23 - 11PM (Reply to #4)
Lisa E. Scott
Lisa E. Scott's picture

Jen

Wow, SickOfIt is right! Fascinating articles. Thanks for sharing, Jen! The first article about the difference between shame and guilt made me think. I never realized that shame is a less evolved state than guilt, but it makes sense now that I think about it. I especially love how she describes addiction: "What is addiction if not a continual biochemical cocktail that feeds the pleasure centers of the brain in order to squelch the tide of unremitting pain and unmitigated fear?" Oh, and this part about how they view women really helps us understand why they love to frustrate us (i.e. Push/Pull): Women with whom they are either attracted to or have respect for - the later part being in short supply - represent a mother that never attached to them, and/or protect them from a raging out-of-control malignantly narcissistic father. Women are perceived as either exceedingly weak or embodying the power of some mythical goddess capable of snuffing out their existence with the mere blink of an eye. Emotional castration on the half-shell. Give away your power to one? Tell them your secrets? Hell, fall in love with one? Are you KIDDING me?? That would be the penultimate suicide, and not a quick one at that. To be out of control and in total service to the one thing you so fear?" Hello Madonna-Whore Complex! The number one reason a relationship with a narcissist will never work is because of their inability to attach. They never learned how to attach to others in a healthy way. Narcissists disconnected from themselves as children. What may be even more important for you to understand, however, is not only have they disconnected from themselves, but they will NEVER allow themselves to connect with another person under any circumstance. Narcissists live in a world of fear. They are afraid of being exposed, afraid of being abandoned and afraid of losing control. Living in a state of fear like this causes them to always be in a fight or flight mode. They are always on the defense and unable to let their guard down. As a result, they do not attach to others in a healthy way and inevitably destroy any trust that once existed in a relationship. The demise of a healthy relationship with a Narcissist is unavoidable.
Feb 24 - 8AM (Reply to #5)
MandyM
MandyM's picture

What hurts me the most about

What hurts me the most about that is that I never, ever would have done anything to hurt him. If anything, I would've protected him with everything I had. He could have trusted me. That's what I struggle with. I guess we all do. They could've had safety with us, and they destroy exactly what it is they're looking for.
Feb 24 - 12PM (Reply to #7)
jen79
jen79's picture

Mandy

Me too, I saw his fragile little self behing the mask right in the beginning, I underestimated how strong he will protect this little boy inside. And me too, I would have never ever hurt him on purpose or let him down. Even now, if he would have needed a friend. But he is incapable of opening up, and I can smell his fear even over the ocean. And about the anti narc drug, I think they have developed already an oxytocine spray for asperger, whou have trouble with empathy like narcs. Maybe that would be the drug of choice, but I doubt that any of them would take it. Imagine, if they would suddenly have empathy, feeling the pain of those around them, the pain THEY have caused. I think they would commit suicide immediatly.
Feb 24 - 1PM (Reply to #8)
Susan32
Susan32's picture

Slow self-destruction

I remember the ex-Psych prof having a suicide fixation. His favorite philosopher, Ludwig Wittgenstein, had brothers who had killed themselves, and often considered it himself. Arthur Schopenhauer praised suicide as the highest act of the will, since he condemned happiness&the will to life. Leo Tolstoy attempted suicide several times... and when he walked into a snowstorm&caught pneumonia (from which he died), there was something suicidal in it. He'd talk about how philosopher/Holocaust survivor Primo Levi killed himself. The ex-P once told me "I am destroying myself." It became evident over 4 years. During the final D&D, he had gotten fat from junk food&was getting intoxicated in front of students. He went downhill... fast. He looked like a fat old grandpa... when he's the same age as Colin Firth, who's quite trim, fit, handsome, and an Oscar nominee. Being suicidal&self-destructive often result from a deficiency of NS. I felt it was poetic justice when I read that his parents had moved in with him... because he's still a little boy trapped in a man's body. He once claimed, that like the Narc Prince Andrei in "War and Peace",that he was incapable of philosophical reflection (despite claiming to be a philosopher).... I once told him he couldn't flee the consequences forever... and his father put him in a philosophical forum about consequences and cause/effect. His father did something I would've thought up;again, poetic justice.
Feb 24 - 10AM (Reply to #6)
Susan32
Susan32's picture

The constant paranoia

The ex-Psych professor was incredibly paranoid. He was afraid that I was ridiculing him behind his back;he was sooo afraid that I was mocking him that if I were smiling&laughing in his presence, he'd find a reason to retreat or snap at me "Be serious!" As one of my friends put it, if she thought someone wasn't taking her seriously, it wouldn't be an excuse for her to engage in emotional abuse. I was constantly having to reassure the ex-P. He was paranoid that I was telling other people how he treated me.... I honestly think that's why he keeps NC. ANY form of contact from him, be it an insult, praise, fake apology, complaining about life... would be exposing himself. "He could've trusted me"-It was after the final D&D, I told the ex-P that I wasn't disappointed because he had a girlfriend, but because he hadn't trusted me enough to tell me he already had a girlfriend. When I was dating, I made NO secret of it. I didn't lie to him;I was up front about it. I gave him so many opportunities. He was downright shocked that I told him that while he had been insulting&fabricating stories about me behind my back, I had been the one defending his character, his humanity. He didn't know how to respond. I've never had a teacher who treated me like a criminal... simply because I cared about him. It's like he wanted someone who'd trust, care, love him unconditionally... then acted in ways that sabotaged it, by purposefully hurting my feelings and his constant acting out. "I never would have done anything to hurt him"- The ex-P was always attributing hurtful motives to me. As soon as I declared my love, he acted like he was hurt. I would ask him why he was so angry, and he just wouldn't respond. He made himself my perpetual victim--apparently he was stuffing his face&getting drunk when I was dating--and threw a fit when I was volunteering. There was something so abnormal in responses, being married to him would've been like living in a carnival fun house...well, not so fun.