The Path Forward Virtual Retreat Febuary 2021!



My idea for a book...

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Dec 12 - 8AM
really
really's picture

"You didn't think it was

"You didn't think it was going to go on like this forever, did you?" and "You take everything so literally". This after he talked and talked about going to outdoor music shows when we were in our 60s and so many other things. "You're so uptight" was a popular one. He said it whenever he wanted me to do something that I was uncomfortable with. Of course, this is from the man with no boundaries. I used to tease him about that, but now it's not so funny...
Dec 12 - 7AM
agnesmurphy17
agnesmurphy17's picture

Most Hurtful Line

"I was never sexually or emotionally connected to you. I married you because I thought my love for you would transform you as [my ex-GF's] love transformed me." He thought this no big deal. This was not a reason to end the marriage. He LOVED me. (Why & how if he's neither sexually nor emotionally attached?) Reminds me of a line I read in a book about abusive men. The woman says to the family therapist: "Oh. He loves me. He just doesn't like me." Women end up putting up with such nonsense. And somehow reconciling that which is inherently illogical becomes an everyday occurrence.
Dec 12 - 6AM
imabloke
imabloke's picture

Mine has to be...

We were in Paris for her fortieth, I had champagne and some really nice chocs etc. that i sneaked into a bag nad manged to carry around without her noticing what's inside.. found a really nice spot by a fountain - held her hand - looked into her eyes etc. (didn't get down on one knee that's just toooo cheesy) and proposed to her - she said yes. When she dumped me and i brought this up.. she said - actual words.. 'that was very nice.. BUT IT DIDN'T TAKE MY BREATH AWAY'.
Dec 12 - 6PM (Reply to #17)
apple
apple's picture

Imabloke!!

I'm so sorry!!! She sounds soooo ungrateful!!!! That was a really sweet thing you did. And in regards to your other post... I think its perfectly normal for us to be a little more cautious when we start dating again. I mean, after what we have been through. Don't be so hard on yourself, ok?!
Dec 12 - 6AM
jen79
jen79's picture

I am telling you something

I had a bf that had such a big dick, that sex was always very stressful, he of course blamed me, my vagina is too tight, its not normal and so on. I should go to the doc and let it check. After him I had a bf, his dick was totally small, smaller than average...I didnt give so much importance to that, loving woman that I am...he of course started right away complaining, my vagina wouldnt be normal, its too big and wide...and it doesnt look like a normal vagina... ah yes...Of course I have either a unusual tight vagina, that needs surgery, or a unnatural wide vagina, that needs surgery... Thats a lesson for life, I will never ever accept again any kind of critisism on myself and my body. Men do that, to make themselves feel better, and it shows how much your worth for them, you are just a doll for them.
Dec 12 - 6PM (Reply to #15)
apple
apple's picture

Jen!!

I am seriously ROLLING right now!! You should be in stand up comedy!!! Thanks for the smile girly =)
Dec 12 - 10AM (Reply to #3)
Goldie
Goldie's picture

Yup

You are so on spot. The N/P told me that I had a mushy P----. I had never heard that one before. He then showed me pics of women with "normal" p's. He asked me to marry him and then when he D&D me he said that no man would marry a women with a mushy p. I was so hurt by this at the time and now I can see that he is a women hater. He has to put the women down in order to feel superior. He constantly told me I looked old, which was amusing to me at the time cuz I don't have a hang up about how I look for my age, everyone thinks I am much younger than I am so I was like, whatever. The one that left me speechless though was: It's not my fault you were so gaga in love with me that you "let" me do whatever I wanted. This was his defense for his abusive behavior when I finally wanted him out. Like I allowed all of this so it makes it my fault. I did not allow jack shit he is paying for his crimes. He also said that day that he preferred women with black hair, mine is blonde, and it was not his responsibility to help me get over the OW, I would have to see a therapist to deal with it and then he told me that he checked out women all the time, I just did not notice and he said that it was not his fault we got together, it was me who went into his room and hit on him. Which is not what happened at all. He said: who the f--- eats lamb, you are a psycho. When he puched me in the head, he told me to my face that I hit my head on the seatbelt. The cops saw the truth and he was charged. When I asked him to leave again he said that he never loved me, he was using me the entire time, he had already cheated on me, and another girl was in the works and he would leave when he was good and ready, the cops so that one differently as well. His sorry ass was hauled out of my house again. He came back 11 times in 3 months and was charged with 4 a&b and a variety of other charges. You do NOT tell me that you will leave MY HOUSE when you are good and ready. Wow that was incredible to me, he said that twice. So they do not all get AWAY with it, this one is sitting in jail for his horrific abuse which is where he belongs. Once I realized that this guy was a moron and had no clue what he was talking about or the fundamentals of life, I was able to let go of his words. There are just so many of them. These are the ones which stand out in my mind right now. I am just so grateful that he is gone. I can breath again in my home and I no longer have to listen to his absurd comments. Yippee!! God bless, Goldie
Dec 12 - 6PM (Reply to #14)
apple
apple's picture

Goldie!!!!!!!!!!

hahahha!!! I can't even believe that he said that. He is a total wackjob. I'm completly blown away right now. Sooo freaking happy you got away from him!!!
Dec 12 - 12PM (Reply to #4)
jen79
jen79's picture

Oh wow

Now that you wrote all above, memories come back. I was told to look like an alienface, my budd is too small, for another it was too big, my vagina too small and too big, my tits are too big, for another not big enough, I am too thin, for another too fed, I am too tall, weird beauty, I was told I look like a child with a womans body, another said I look too old for my age, one said I wear too casual clothes, another called me I look too bitchy and not natural enough. How could I ever let this happen, how could I ever accept any comment like that???? I swear to god, never ever will I put up one minute more with anyone who complains about my looks. Who even dares to comment about it at all. Not only bfs, friends did as well.
Dec 12 - 6PM (Reply to #8)
apple
apple's picture

umm...

I think your a hottie patotti!!!!!!! AND I would know since I'm a very good judge of who's hot and who's not. lol. My jokes are so dumb sometime. Seriously Jen, you're one hot mama and a million guys would date or marry you in about two seconds.
Dec 12 - 6PM (Reply to #9)
jen79
jen79's picture

cherry!!!!

LOOOL, thank you sweetie!!!! Where are these guys hiding??? Cherry, I hope in some years we will have a chat about only kids and breastfeeding lool.
Dec 12 - 6PM (Reply to #12)
apple
apple's picture

P.S.

I don't think they have been hiding. I think you haven't been paying attention because you've been a little preoccuped with Narcface. lol I bet you dont even pay attention. lololololololo's
Dec 12 - 7PM (Reply to #13)
jen79
jen79's picture

true cherry

I am not seeing anyone...I was so occupied with narc...We have to open our hearts again for the new possibilities!!
Dec 12 - 6PM (Reply to #10)
apple
apple's picture

Jen!

lolololo's OR how naughty our kids are and what we are gonna do to make them behave. It's just around the corner for us girly. I can feel it!!! AND the best part... It WON'T be with a Narc/psychopath. lol
Dec 12 - 6PM (Reply to #11)
jen79
jen79's picture

cherry!!!

Yes around the corner, I can also sense it, and yes it will be with some totally amazing, the full package, totally nice guy, totally sexy too, totally caring and loving, and totally crazy in love with us!!!! LOOL. Its already done...he is waiting.
Dec 12 - 12PM (Reply to #5)
Goldie
Goldie's picture

So pathetic isn't it?

One time I had this Narc woman who works for my father say that monica lewinsky came into the business and she said, oh she was quite plain and ordinary looking. She looked like, hmmmm let me see, like she was having trouble thinking of someone who is plain and ordinary and she finally says: like you. This cracked me up cuz first of all, she was not attractive herself, and secondly who would insult someone right to there face like that? I don't consider myself unattractive so, these comments are clearly designed to hurt and insult and keep you down and they seem to often come from those who have their own looks issues. My XN/P was far from perfect in that department, yet he had something to say about everyone's looks. What an ass is all I can say. God bless, Goldie
Dec 12 - 4PM (Reply to #6)
jen79
jen79's picture

I know that now too

Only people who have issues with their appearance, make such comments. Its so childish and immature, I will never ever accept a person in my life again who displays such a behaviour.
Dec 12 - 4PM (Reply to #7)
Goldie
Goldie's picture

Amen Jen!!

The first time will be the last time!! Honestly for the first few months, I was so stunned and shocked by his behavior, on some level I thought it was all some kind of a joke. It was a joke alright. The good news is that we don't ever have to go through this again. God bless, Goldie
Dec 12 - 6AM
onwithmylife
onwithmylife's picture

cherry blossom

His thoughtful comment was gee, i wish you had bigger breasts, several years later did apologize, or your butt is widening,mind you he had a blubbery body himself but what the heck just criticize someone else so I do not have to examine myself...............