Perfectly possessed?

27 posts / 0 new

#1 Feb 18 - 10AM

helldweller

Perfectly possessed?

I have recently been reading a slew of books on exorcism after seeing "The Rite" a couple of weeks ago. Last night I read "Hostage to the Devil" by Malachi Martin, a look at five modern American cases of "partial possession." Partial possessions are those we see in movies: the possessed person is locked in battle with a demon and the struggle shows in swearing, blasphemies, vulgar actions, contortions and revulstion to religious objects and people. I had never heard the term "perfect possession" before, but Martin introduces it in this book. It's terrifying. According to Martin, one who is perfectly possessed has totally given himself to the demon, to evil, either consciously or unconsciously. They don't scream and swear, they don't really seem to have emotions at all, they don't recoil from religious objects, they are handsome and not contorted, they are serene and not troubled. They are almost impossible for an exorcist to recognize and, thus, to save. They are untouchable by graced, totally damned.

I still don't know how much of the Devil himself is wrapped up in what I endured and continue to endure regarding the narc, but it gets harder every day to believe there isn't another entity involved in everything he does. Here's a troubling article about it:

http://fundamentaloption.blogspot.com/2009/05/perfect-possession.html

#2 Feb 21 - 6PM

jen79

Helldweller

This is very interresting. It feels like this, doesnt it, someone is camping in your heart and mind. And you dont even want to, the more you fight, the more it hurts. Its not that it gets better, you just start to live with it, you get familiar with this stranger within you. I think thats why they always come back as soon as you are about to kick them out forever. I sensed, they can live within us only as long as their is something to live from. When you are deprived from energy completly, and you give up, they slowely start to disappear, you gain some energy again, are about to move on, and then bham, they are back. I researched yesterday about the same thing, some say psychopaths are like artificial intelligence, they dont have a soul, they are just a programmed hologram. I slowely start to believe there is something onto that, and that there might be a darker force behind it. I do saw his good spirit, but now I see, this spirit is an entity for itself, which might have nothing to do with him. Maybe its my guardian angel, that I just interpreted as being him. If we are possessed by them, by their darkness, we have to not let them win, when bitterness fills our heart, and we start to lose faith in love and humanity, they have won. Thats exactly what they wanted, to destroy us. Us, the ones who can love, even in the worst darkness. We have to get aware, that the gift they brang us, was shining a light on our lack of self love, as I assume many of us had here. Maybe on a subconscious level. I decided, I will not let him win, love is within me, so it has to be somewhere out there tooo. Remember, all you need is only one person, between those millions, even if the half of them is self obsessed and narcissistic and unable to love, all you need is only one person (in case you want to experience a monogam deep loving relationship). And if it is within YOU, there will be at least one person, that will feel the same. Hugs.(talking to myself here too)

#3 Feb 21 - 5PM

Susan32

For AgnesMurpy-

Please read the post I titled "Her soul was not visible at all." For Tolstoy, the ideal marriage means the loss of self (for the woman) He portrays Natasha as Pierre's slave... all he has to do is command it, and it's done. Tolstoy even says that Natasha gave her "whole soul" to Pierre... and it reduces her to being a fat, rude slob... like him.

#4 Feb 19 - 7PM

helldweller

the Devil

As I said, I've been reading a lot about exorcism, and whether you believe in the person of the Devil or not, the sypmtpoms of possession, by a demon or a personality disordered person, are the same. Number one: you lose yourself. When it starts to happen, your soul (or personality, for non-religious) fights tooth and nail, and so in the thick of it WE are like--or perhaps really are--the possessed. We kick and scream, we curse and moan, we contort ourselves, body, mind and soul. If they win, we calm down, we give in, we are COMPLACENT. This is the number one thing that struck me when I spoke to the narc's other women--who he'd been with for four, ten, twenty years. The complacency. The resignation. They'd stopped fighting. When we look at folklore: at vampires, zombies, victims of possession, golem, what have you: the number one characteristic oof these victims is that they have lost themselves.

#5 Feb 20 - 10PM (Reply to #24)

Susan32

Real love raises people up

I hope you read the looong quote I have from "War and Peace." in "War and Peace",the lively, beautiful and musical Natasha Rostov becomes a rude, fat slob after she marries Pierre... because Pierre is a rude, fat slob. As one quote goes "she was no longer attractive and amiable." REAL love brings out the BEST in people. It raises people up. REAL love doesn't cause people to lose themselves. Zombies, victims of possession- that's not love. Natasha becoming a fat, rude slob with her soul no longer being visible- when I first read that I practically wept. Love doesn't destroy people.

#6 Feb 20 - 8PM (Reply to #23)

Susan32

"Her soul was not visible at all"

I think this is the perfect literary depiction of complacency in the first epilogue of Leo Tolstoy's "War and Peace." Tolstoy's Ideal Woman, Natasha Bezhukov, lets herself go when she marries&has children with Pierre. She becomes a fat, rude slob. It was painful the first time I read it. This is from the translation by Louise&Aylmer Maude- "in her (Natasha) face there was none of the ever-glowing animation that had formerly burned there and constituted its charm. Now her face and body were all one saw, and her soul was not visible at all. The old fire very rarely kindled in her face now... She took no pains with her manners or with speech, or with her toilet, or to show herself to her husband in her most becoming attitudes... There were then as now conversations and discussions about women's rights, the relations of husband and wife and their freedom and rights, though these themes were not yet termed questions as they are now;but these topics were not merely uninteresting to Natasha, she positively did not understand them... At home, Natasha placed herself in the position of a slave to her husband." Earlier, in "War and Peace", Natasha describes herself as the slave of the psychopath Anatole... and Tolstoy praises her as Pierre's slave. The ex-Psych professor would often compare me to Natasha when Andrei first saw her-as full of life&happiness, and wondering how he could be happy. He'd say that he'd deprive me of the "love of life" (Natasha loses her love of life&attempts suicide because of the psychopath Anatole) He'd tell me, "Follow my commands, DON'T interpret them!" because Tolstoy says Natasha follows Pierre's commands according to her interpretation. Of course, Tolstoy portrays Natasha as incapable of being intellectual, unlike her husband Pierre. Of course, the ex-P thought I wasn't his intellectual equal... because I'm female.

#7 Feb 19 - 11PM (Reply to #22)

Lisa E. Scott

Helldweller

Wow, this is such a good point. We do lose ourselves. I love this: "When it starts to happen, your soul (or personality, for non-religious) fights tooth and nail, and so in the thick of it WE are like--or perhaps really are--the possessed. We kick and scream, we curse and moan, we contort ourselves, body, mind and soul. If they win, we calm down, we give in, we are COMPLACENT. This is the number one thing that struck me when I spoke to the narc's other women--who he'd been with for four, ten, twenty years. The complacency. The resignation. They'd stopped fighting. When we look at folklore: at vampires, zombies, victims of possession, golem, what have you: the number one characteristic oof these victims is that they have lost themselves."

#8 Feb 19 - 8PM (Reply to #20)

gettinbetter

hd

Its total enmeshment. I really been studying up on the idea of enmeshment. I have also been studying up on borderline pd. I believe that's the categorie my narc falls into. As you know at times I feel kind of narcy. Sometimes by behavior when engaged with him is that of borderline pd. I read that it is very common with amongst those who have been with bpd s its one of the tell tale signs I also read that borderlines are the ones that really give meaning to crazy making and that they can do hurrendous emotional damge to those close to them even more so than some other pds. I also reas that there is a term called death by a bordrline where by the partner becomes so emotionally ill and damaged that they literally die from emotional deadness that eventually manifest in the form of a terminal illness. I couldn't believe when I read all of this as you know a few months ago I felt I was slowly dying as if I were being poisioned. Boils and a feeling of unwellness. I do believe I was starting to die spiritually and emotionally

#9 Feb 19 - 8PM (Reply to #21)

helldweller

sick of it

I know. Your situation has given me the heebie jeebies. I am happier and happier every day that I'm out of poisoning range. I, too, felt I was literally dying in every way. It's scary.

#10 Feb 18 - 11PM

ValiditySeeker

Freaking out

Because I recall that when Narky Narc dumped me over the phone (stating that I simply wasn't a good gf for him) that I hung up the phone and immediately felt as if I was ten pounds lighter. I had a very physical releasing sensation in my body and felt free to breathe again. I felt like skipping!!! I wonder if he didn't somehow try to possess me then released me at the end. Makes me ever so grateful to have been dumped!!!! Thank you, God!

#11 Feb 18 - 9PM

apple

HD!!!!!!!! or Anyone??

I feel so creeped out right now. I feel like you just describing me!!! No emotion. Just agreeable with everything (after ALL the training of course~ meaning don't ask anything from him for the answer will always be no and if you aren't compliant he will call you nasty names and threaten to leave or ignore for weeks at a time) I felt like a robot. An emotionless robot. I can remember telling my therapist about this movie I saw with Robing Williams a long time ago "what dreams may come" (I think). And how he went to hell to save his wife and decided to stay with her because he didn't want to leave her in hell alone. I always thought that being with my N even if it was like being in hell was better than not being with him at all. Did you feel this way ever?

#12 Feb 19 - 7AM (Reply to #14)

onwithmylife

cherry blossom

NOW I am feeling weird reading what you describe because I always felt like he was the devils emissary but thought being with him was better than being alone, it is bizarre.It was like the devil was fighting for my soul, I will never forget saying that to myself.It was so hard to ask him for any favors, once i remember asking him to take me to the dentist,not that far from where he lived because I was sick and all he could say, was how dare you ask me when you know i am packing, it would have taken a few hours out of his day, the man was retired, and all the time in the world to pack for his move out of state.and I can not even tell you how much i did for that man out of sheer love.

#13 Feb 19 - 7PM (Reply to #17)

helldweller

onwithmylife and the devil

If you are not squeamish, read "Hostage to the Devil" by Malachi Martin. There is a possession case outlined called "Uncle Ponto and the Mushroom Souper" which is about a young man who falls victim to a familiar spirit. Now, this is not some mamby-pamby book by some wacko. The author, Malachi Martin, recently deceased, was a deeply academic Jesuit priest who worked closely with the Vatican for much of his life. An esteemed theologian, award winning journalist--and exorcist. This case focuses on a young man named "Jamsie" who was pursued by a demon from his earliest years growing up in lower class NYC. He watched his parents go from loving, honest workers to extortion and prostitution before he was literally thrown out of the house as a young man. For his whole young life, Jamsie would see glimpses of the demon's face in the most unlikely places: a coffee shop, a baseball game, until eventually, his demon--who identified himself as "Uncle Ponto"-- appeared to him and stayed by his side for six years. Malachi is very specific in stating that the overwhelming characteristic of "Uncle Ponto" was its desire to usurp the freedom and personal life of Jamsie, making sure to ruin any plans Jamsie had to see his family or friends or to try to find a girlfriend and have a relationship. In the end, Uncle Ponto was utterly relentless, literally sitting on Jamsie's kitchen table and saying, over and over, for hours on end, "TAKE ME IN" trying to get Jamsie to give his body, mind and soul to the demon. At any rate, onwithmylife, the most chilling thing about Jamsie's life being totally taken over by this THING was that, when he finally sought out a Roman Cathoic exorcist, the only thing Jamsie wanted to know was: "If I consent to the exorcism, will I never see Uncle Ponto again?" Despite the total control and terror that this thing had brought to his life, Jamsie was still afraid to lose him completely. It's so freaking scary.

#14 Feb 19 - 4PM (Reply to #15)

apple

Onwithmylife

Yep! I can so relate to what you're saying. I think I'm coming out of the brainwashed stage and now just shocked that I could love someone that was so unreliable and selfish. Are you away from him now and doing better? I want to try and read your story.

#15 Feb 19 - 6PM (Reply to #16)

onwithmylife

For Cherry blossom

thanks for asking,I am 2 years out,he moved out of state or who knows,I might still be with the user of a man. So so self absorbed and he did see other people as objects, I was just a good sex toy for him, nothing more,nothing less. 5 failed relationships and guess who is at fault, all the women of course, what an idiot!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#16 Feb 18 - 9PM (Reply to #11)

gettinbetter

cherryblossom

You are experiencing a loss of self a loss of your core. You can reclaim it if it doesn't go on too long. Fight to reclaim it. Do you really want to stay in hell? I doubt it Look at my response to goldie under the post omg pls help. Keep researching and reading to get to why you would rather stay in hell with him than not have him at all. There is something in that kind of thought that needs investigating. That is not a normal way to think. Keep reading about trauma bonds and codenpdency I am not saying you are a codependent but you are getting something from staying engaged you are either playing out old chilhood wounds or you somehow dependent on him and his pathology. It is filling some need. No one would stay in hell with them as opposed to living a healthy life without him. Investigate investigate!

#17 Feb 19 - 4PM (Reply to #12)

apple

Sick of it!!!

Thanks so much for your reply! I think you are spot on. =) I have already read some books on co-dependency and now reading the book "Boundaries: when to say yes and when to say no." I have already gone NC and will never go back but I'm now on a quest to find out why I let this happen. Anyways, your posts and replys have really helped me and I just wanted you to know =)

#18 Feb 19 - 9PM (Reply to #13)

gettinbetter

Oh gosh cherryblossom thanks

Oh gosh cherryblossom thanks for saying that. I feel like I have been such a taker here. I hope I am finally able to give something back. I have really struggled but I think I am finally getting somewhere. You are smart to be looking into to your own part in this. It will only help to ensure you dont get roped into this dynamic again

#19 Feb 18 - 8PM

gettinbetter

This is a great article!

As many of you know I have posted that narcs are the best place for the devil to do his work. They are the perfect vessels for this as they are hollow. the devil doesn't have to fight for their soul. God gives us all free will to make the right or wrong decision. When you continually time after time make the wrong decision constantly indulging in sin your eventually decays until there is nothing there. So empty that you no longer even have the ability to exercise your free will to do good instead of evil. Your moral compass simply no longer exists so you indulge in more and more sin

#20 Feb 18 - 9PM

onwithmylife

HELLDWELLER

your narc definitely has demonic qualities, I always thought mine was an emissary for the devil, once he had some type of accident, cannot remember,no big deal, his cursing scared the hell out of me and the words he uses and i have been a bartender ,so no prude here, but it was spooky, all these horrible words like someone possessed,like mother of Mary, etc.His 3rd wife thought he was possessed and once when he was sleeping on the sofa downstairs he started talking in his sleep but it was like he was possessed, scary, woke me up in the middle of the night!

#21 Feb 18 - 3PM

gettinbetter

Helldweller

I have always thought your narc was truly demonic. This is a great article. I have thought of mine as demonic at times though he never showed me any sexual depravity I believe it is there. My guess is the only reason I havent seen it is that he knows I knew him before this all really took a deep hold of him. I think I am a reminder of that a time when he was less "Evil" I think somehow this is related to how a became the Madonna and not the whore. I mean in actuality he should have deemed me the whore as I am married and engaging with him but I truly think its because I am a reminder of a time when maybe he was a little more human.

#22 Feb 18 - 10AM

Susan32

Sometimes I wished I were an exorcist...

When I was dealing with the ex-Psych professor. Some of his colleagues (especially the openly gay prof, who was apparently his ex-boyfriend as well) thought he was not just bad, but evil. He had such an aura of negativity his colleagues avoided him. In a twisted way, the final D&D vindicated me in the eyes of his colleagues, that I was a moral person. His rejection ended up being proof of my virtue in the eyes of his fellow professors. The ex-P would seem serene and handsome at times, but whenever he flew into Narc rages, he seemed possessed. When I told him I loved him... I never saw such rage. In anyone. I'd be asking him why he was so angry, and he wouldn't say why. His anger was huge and inexplicable. It seemed to have come out of nowhere. He'd rage at the Q&A session after his lecture. He angrily dismissed everyone when he found their questions too probing. The ex-P would, however, show revulsion towards religious objects (despite claiming to be a philosopher of religion). He'd even condemn Buddhism... and how many people do that? He expected me to renounce my faith for him... but he offered NO viable alternative. If he had swayed me to Buddhism, or evangelical Christianity, or Pentecostalism... he would've had SOMETHING. Instead,he offered NOTHING. When a pastor friend of mine died during the final D&D, no wonder I felt alone. I always wanted this pastor to meet the ex-P... and now I realize it's because the pastor had some experience in exorcism.

#23 Feb 18 - 10AM (Reply to #2)

helldweller

Susan

Wow Wow and Wow. I know it's easy to get carried away with these musings, but I can't help but remember how the narc: . . . would not come to church, ever, though he said he was a Catholic. He came once, on Christmas Eve, because I was making dinner for his family afterward and said they would not be welcome if he didn't come to my daughters' nativity play first with his foster child. He was SWEATING the whole time and spent most of the Mass outside smoking. It was minus ten degrees. . . . stopped in to Mass one other time, after I found out everything, at the first Sunday of Advent, at my urging. My daughters and I had been asked to take up the gifts for consecration and, when I saw him, I said, take up the gifts with us. He said, "Oh, no no no no no no no" in this very weird way. . . . . left TOWN when my daughter received her First Communion. He could not give her even a card or say congratulations when he came home. He said he was coming and then he LEFT TOWN. . . . . Could not have his child baptized in a church. He had his brother ask one of his priest friends to do it in the PARKING LOT OF THE CHURCH . . . . gave me a cross necklace for my birthday. I told him it was pretty but, as we talked, I told him: Catholics usually wear a CRUCIFIX with the Corpus on it. He said, "I know."

#24 Feb 18 - 9PM (Reply to #6)

sara-smile

helldweller

OK that is just freaky!

#25 Feb 18 - 3PM (Reply to #5)

Susan32

Weird coincidence

The ex-Psych professor's girlfriend (who was later his wife, after he got her pregnant) had a bumper sticker that said "Anubis." What could be MORE religious than that? In the ancient Egyptian religion, Anubis was the jackal-headed god of mummification. He had mummified the good god Osiris. Anubis was also the Egyptian judge in the underworld, weighing people's hearts. Those whose hearts were lighter than feathers passed into paradise, but those whose hearts were heavier were devoured by his alligator sidekick. The ex-P's real name was also the same of Joshua's companion in the Book of Numbers, and he and Joshua, unlike Moses&the rest of the Israelites, are allowed to enter the Promised Land because they had faith. They find the abundance in the land of Eshcol, but their fellow Israelites doubt them. I still pray for the soul of the ex-P. But thank God he's not around dragging me to Hell with him. I wasn't going to save his soul at the expense of mine.

#26 Feb 18 - 3PM (Reply to #4)

Susan32

Weird coincidence

#27 Feb 18 - 2PM (Reply to #3)

Susan32

Knowing the difference

I've met a man who considers himself spiritually progressive (he's Religious Science, NOT Christian Science or Scientology), but he is FINE with me having friends who are Catholic pastors. He doesn't make tasteless jokes about pedophile priests (I went to an Episcopalian church recently, and a guy did, then I said I was Catholic) He respects my faith. He hasn't urged me to leave the Church... right now we're at the "just friends" stage. This man and I aren't dating. In fact, he's had problems with his late father's atheism. He wanted to have a memorial when his father died;there was no ceremony, no closure. The ex-Psych professor was like that. There were so many times when I wanted to bring him to church. He couldn't stand it that I went to Bible study. He clearly needed help. He wasn't the "perfectly" possessed type who didn't look like he didn't need help. One of his fellow professors, who is also a professionally trained psychologist/psychiatrist, thought he needed help from a secular, mental health viewpoint. Your ex-N sounds similar. His behavior is disturbingly irrational. There are plenty of non-Catholics and "spiritual, not religious" people who would've respected your beliefs, who would've been there to bring up the gifts and give you a crucifix. His aversion to religious objects is so obvious that it's more partial than perfect possession. Even Tibetan Buddhists have exorcism ceremonies, and Native Americans have similar rituals.

Path Forward Buy Now Reviews
All About Her Buy Now Reviews
All About Him Buy Now Reviews