OK, I NEED SOME SUPPORT TODAY
OK, I NEED SOME SUPPORT TODAY
5 days ago I went TOTAL NC, changed my cell number. I am not walking around biting my nails or crying hysterically I am past that stage, I was REALLY REALLY ready. Towards the end of contact it was pretty sick and degrading, in fact so much that I told myself ok, now if you miss this wacko you can hire someone to call you and talk dirty, if that is what you really want to hear. Oh and throw in a little, hi babycakes and baby once and awhile.
I am struggling with breaking some unhealthy patterns I had with contact, always checking my phone for messages, (I find myself doing that about three x a day) Then a feeling I cant explain comes over me I say to myself, HE'S gone, the four years of this predator is OVER, I KNOW he is FURIOUS I cut him off and part of me CARES..... Can you believe that? I actually care that this sob that violated me is upset because I ended it. A friend said to me, thats like caring that a man can no longer rape you.
What I gave him in the end is what he deserved. Isnt strange with these disordered types that we have to end it by SILENCE that is our ONLY method and ONLY way to say: I AM DONE, I am removing myself from your sick sphere of influence. I have accepted that there never was a relationship go take your act somewhere else. I am sure he wont really realize for a couple months that I WILL NEVER NEVER call him again, "oh she will call, give her a few weeks". I just need to hang in there and address in myself the unhealthy reasons I even had contact with this freak. Now its no longer about HIM, its about ME.
There is an adjustment
only one way to go...Forward (tm?)
It is gift to you from yourself
Oh i know to well how
only one way to go...Forward (tm?)
NLB
MsVulcan500 is right
Neverlookback,
MsVulcan500
neverlookback
you're in a great place mentally -
nerverlookback
I KNOW
nerverlookback
I know, I hear ya
NEVERLOOKBACK
meverlookback
nlb
SIMPLE
But I had come to that
Neverlookback,,those "habits" will be there for about 4 months
These habits, and patterns are common
Remember,,they do all this to break you down,,
as confusing and painful as this is....
~~~ Keep Learning & Keep Healing ~~~
~~~~~ The best revenge is to survive and be victorious over it. Nobody can take from you what you don't give them.
Reading this is exactly what
Nan
That is right,,, no NOTHING
Good for you!
Journey on...
Well that's an easy one
Good for you. It will be a
nerverlookback
DUMPED
The mental damage is