My narc didn't trust people in his house. He thought people would go through his stuff. So I fed his cat a few times when he was out of town and I told him I was going to read his mail. So that became a running joke for me, that I was reading his mail, and he didn't like that.
After a while, he was so secretive about stuff, that I wanted to read his mail, go through his phone, look at receipts like I never wanted to before. I am not a nosy person by nature, and I respect other people's privacy. But his constant worry about me looking at his stuff made me wonder what I would find. It drove me crazy!!!
experiences. I read this once in a psych article about paranoia and why it is so hard to treat. People who are paranoid, through their very fear, tend to actually create situations in which people come after them! This reinforces their paranoia. The weird behavior just makes you want to mess with them!
Which reminds me of a story from my husband about a teacher he used to work with years ago who had Paranoid Personality Disorder. She used to keep a complicated system of rubber bands tied around each of her filing cabinet drawer handles, which had some special meaning. One of the other teachers snuck in there and re-arranged all the rubber bands!
It's kind of horrible really, b/c it is an illness.
It goes along with feeling important; if you are important, people MUST be after you. . .
The ex-Psych professor was incredibly paranoid. He thought that when I read his "Wittgenstein, Tolstoy and the Meaning of Life" online,it was some sort of personal violation (it's still online), and I remember saying "it's an ESSAY, not about your sex life." He was immensely afraid that I had copied his essay&his lecture, selling copies, and using it as an object of ridicule among my friends.
He was also afraid that people were laughing at him behind his back. He'd tell me to tell my friends to not make fun of him... but he was the one mocking me cruelly behind MY back. He said he had did that out of fear. He was sooo afraid of me, he had to mock me in class, and mock me with his male disciples.
His favorite author, John Kennedy Toole, was immensely paranoid that people were copying his manuscripts&mocking them. This paranoia eventually led to his suicide. (Yeah, the ex-P plagiarized Toole's life)
He was paranoid about me becoming a journalist;so when I wrote an article for the college newspaper my junior year, that kinda sealed the deal.
"Their weird behavior just makes you want to mess with them"- A classmate played a prank claiming that he was my cousin. The ex-P was his teacher, and the ex-P BELIEVED it. Of course, when reality hit, the ex-P was reeling, since I had colluded in this pretty minor prank. I told the ex-P he was the one overreacting.
The ex-P was paranoid about me going to Massachusetts, and my brother in-law has the same name as his father... so I guess when I broke NC and mentioned these facts, and he didn't break NC, possibly because he's paranoid?
Paranoia helping Ns/Ps maintain NC. Whatever works.
My narc was the same exact way. He was so secretive it drove me nuts!!! He would hide his phone, flip the page on his computer if I walk up. He would leave the house to accept a phone call so I wouldn't hear a conversation. yes, these were all suspicious things. Oh! Not to mention when I did snoop I would find something every time. I would find him cheating either emotionally or physically. I was never enough for him. He wanted attention from any woman he could get it from. I gave him all kinds of attention and couldn't possibly have given him more, but it wasn't enough. It's all sick.
My exN claimed to know Hillary Clinton, he worked for govt and would periodically go to washington for training. He would say he helped provide protection for her for a day or so while there....I assure he NEVER got close to her. Even went so far as to say she told him, in front of others, "I think you should come to Washington" I knew he was lying when he said it and still stayed around!
About 1 year later, he was let go of his position, told me it was because of cutbacks and redistribution of job responsibilities. But I always wondered if he got in some sort of trouble. Hmmm......
The ex-Psych professor would claim that he knew famous people (he did end up marrying a former curator from LACMA).. but he'd NEVER name names. He claimed he knew all these wealthy, powerful people... but he couldn't ever tell me who they were.
He had pretensions of being a famous philosopher;that never materialized. You wouldn't know who he is if I did call him by his real name.
My narc didn't trust people
paranoids create confirmatory
Shutter Island
MsVulcan500
oh yes
sickofit
mine would mention peoples
Mine claimed to know....
Man of Mystery?