Need help on this bad Monday

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#1 Jan 10 - 8AM
KellyG
KellyG's picture

Need help on this bad Monday

Well I found out from my friends that my husband brought his new girlfriend up to the resort that my husband and I go for many years and all my friends and family go. I was just sick when I heard this, she stayed in the place that we have up there but actually he owned so it is his, she slept in our bed, met all my friends up there! I am just sick! Doesn't he look like the fool for bringing her there, I am very well liked up there! Please help with your advise to get me through this Monday!!!

Jan 10 - 1PM
Briseis
Briseis's picture

This is a huge slap in the

This is a huge slap in the face :( And I have NO doubt the folks down there are disgusted with him. Don't think for a second that his new woman didn't notice it, either. Stuff like this is going to hurt, but as time goes on, it will never hurt as bad as THIS one hurt. You get numb to it. In a year or so, you'll roll your eyes. I'm sure you'd LOVE to be rolling your eyes about now :) Well, keep working hard on yourself here. NC is the first step and though it seems so simple and so hard at the same time, it is the primary healer. Look at what he's done, and know that only a very disturbed individual would have the balls to do what he's done. He cares nothing about her, putting her out there with YOUR friends where she can pick up on the vibes that she is an interloper and unwelcome. It goes to show that we are as interchangeable as toasters :( He's treating her like a toaster, too. You can be sure of that.
Jan 10 - 1PM (Reply to #10)
KellyG
KellyG's picture

Found out his truck broke

Found out his truck broke down up there and friends of mine drove the two love birds home, why do they be nice to him and his new woman, that doesn't help me at all, my day is just getting worse. Thanks though for all your thoughts can't wait till she realizes she is a toaster too!!!
Jan 10 - 3PM (Reply to #15)
Briseis
Briseis's picture

What were your friends going

What were your friends going to do, just leave him there? Tell him "Sorry dude, you are just going to have to suffer with your broken truck because you brought your bimbo instead of OUR FRIEND KELLY!!!" LOL :D Don't be so hard on your friends. They are human beings and it really WOULD have been outrageous of them to not give them a lift. Believe me, I understand your anger!! After what my Narc did to me, I was INCENSED when I found out people were decent to him, or gave him something or did him a favor. How could they???? After what he did to me! He deserved to be driven into the wilderness. But people just . . . don't do that. They are between a rock and a hard place. They want as little trouble as possible. So, they gave him a lift home. Then they don't have to feel the conflict. You can do just about anything, and think and feel just the OPPOSITE. If you have good friends amongst this bunch, I would bet money on that being the case. Beware of letting this kind of news ruin YOUR day. If it is ruining your day, you aren't looking at it correctly. Or completely.
Jan 10 - 3PM (Reply to #16)
KellyG
KellyG's picture

thank you that helps alot!!!

thank you that helps alot!!!
Jan 10 - 2PM (Reply to #13)
Journey
Journey's picture

KellyG

I'm sorry you have to be going through this right now, but maybe try to think of what your friends did 'for them' in a different way. They probably just didn't want to see them around there anymore and since his truck broke down, driving them home was their option to get rid of them ASAP! Journey on...

Journey on...

Jan 10 - 3PM (Reply to #14)
KellyG
KellyG's picture

That is too funny you made

That is too funny you made me laugh. Thank you!
Jan 10 - 2PM (Reply to #11)
Hunter
Hunter's picture

You need to stop inquiring!

You need to stop inquiring! Worry about you. It will dive you nuts. I peeked last week, big mistake. Your friends are being put in a bad position. I doubt they are taking side. If they do they are not your friends. It's also cruel of them to be gossiping to you about your ex. My BFF is getting a divorce. This town loves other peoples drama. I've herd so many stories. I have not shared one of them. She has so many problems why would I hurt her more with stories that may or may not be true. I love her I don't want to hurt her. Now you will see who your friends are. Be strong, idealk
Jan 10 - 3PM (Reply to #12)
KellyG
KellyG's picture

You are so right, I really

You are so right, I really need to stop hearing this stuff it is literally driving me crazy, I could feel my blood pressure go up the second I heard this stuff, thought I was going to faint, can't be good for my health either. Thanks you guys, so glad I found this site!
Jan 10 - 10AM
jaycee
jaycee's picture

trust me kelly he looks like the asshole

you may think people are stupid, but they are not, they may be pleasant to his face and hers, but people in general, frown upon these things. all the people i know, his friends, my friends, our friends, think he is a total jerk and though she was a total homewrecking skank. people do have morals, we sometimes think the world is like our hNs but its not, people do look down at cheaters and their ows and think, uh what two idiots. Jaycee

Jaycee

Jan 10 - 10AM (Reply to #7)
KellyG
KellyG's picture

Yes, I am hoping they do

Yes, I am hoping they do too. I don't know what I am going to do because I still go up there all the time too, I stay with friends I just don't know what my reaction is going to be towards her, I know I should just ignore it because her rath is coming soon, I am sure of that and that can be the best revenge I can have! I just don't understand how women can be with married men and trust me she knows that he is married!
Jan 10 - 1PM (Reply to #8)
Hunter
Hunter's picture

In her defense, if he's a

In her defense, if he's a Narc he's lying to her. Feel sorry for her. She'll be gone soon enough. You won't have to worry about running into her. She may even call you for help! Idealk
Jan 10 - 10AM
LinaS
LinaS's picture

I know how much it hurts!

I know how much it hurts! Even though I was totally prepared for it I was really hurt when I realised my ex-boyfriend had brought his new girlfriend to his parent´s place for christmas, or that she would be there instead of me when he were to defend his thesis. It´s so heartbreakingly awful to be immediately replaced, and to know that someone else is doing the things that you were planning to do together. But this is what this kind of man does. They replace their girlfriends or wives without a thought. And the people around them knows what they are like. During our whole relationship my ex-boyfriend´s close friends has treated me like I was temporary. They didn´t really bother to get to know me. I found it really hurtful, since we were living together and planning a family. We weren´t just a fling. But now I realise that they knew better than I did. They knew that I would be replaced, and that someone else would stand in line to step into my shoes. They had seen it before. And they will see it again. I dont know how this kind of man can be respected at all. And, in the long run, I don´t think that they will be. That´s probably one of the reasons they have to change scenery all the time. There´s only so many times you can present a new girfriend to your family or friends or collegues before people start to wonder.
Jan 10 - 10AM
Hunter
Hunter's picture

Hi, I don't even know what

Hi, I don't even know what to say. It really is all about them. These creatures have no regard for others and their feelings. It's such a disconnect. Your friends will always be your friends. This OW will soon be another victim. Focus on you, move forward for you. Now, it's All about you! Don't let him win, be strong, Idealk
Jan 10 - 9AM
helldweller
helldweller's picture

KellyG

I completely understand this feeling. When I found the other woman after supsecting something for a long time, it was so much worse than I thought. I had supsected a fling or a screw buddy but it turned out she was his full flung girlfriend as well the entire time we were together. She was like a mother to "our" foster child (who the narc said we were going to adopt), he had asked the OW to be the child's godmother, for God' sake! She flew in every weekend from Calfiornia and they all stayed together downtown at a hotel, while he lied to me and said he was working. Even the narc's brothers and friends would come to the hotel and swim in the pool with them, have them to their houses, and yes, their summer homes. I thought I was so lucky, felt so special. He's a judge in Chicago and we'd be at these snazzy houses of local politicians or whatever, and I'd be sitting in his lap with my cocktail, you know? It was all a farce. There was someone else the whole time. I know how hurtful it is to think about him at these places with another woman. When I found out the narc and this other girl had been to his best friends house a hundred times I almost fell out of my chair. Looking back, I realize now that everyone seemed very uncomfortable the last couple of years on the rare occasions that he brought me around. I thought it was because he was speaking poorly of me, but I realized then that they didn't know what to say, were so uncomfortable and confused too. I'm sorry your friends up there are in the same situation, but do not think for a second that they don't or wont know the truth. When there's another woman in a couple of months and then another a few months later, they'll get it, just like everyone else does. And you know what? We'll get it, too, eventually. Eventually we will realize that there is nothing these people have to offer. Please don't be too sad. I know it hurts. It hurts right now remembering how happy we seemed, how I really seemed to be a part of his circle. It's all lies, for you, for me, for the new woman. I'm sorry.
Jan 10 - 9AM (Reply to #2)
KellyG
KellyG's picture

Thanks for your input, I was

Thanks for your input, I was the one with the problem with NC Well I don't think that is going to be a problem now! I am so hurt and so upset at him now I can't even bare to look at him much less talk to him! So maybe this happened for a reason to make NC easier for me, that is the way I am looking at it helps a little.
Jan 10 - 1PM (Reply to #3)
Hunter
Hunter's picture

Just give it time. We all

Just give it time. We all feel your pain. Be strong, you deserve better, Idealk