advice and quick please!

I believe my ex may be a N.or a passive aggressive - or just strong traits of both.

After 18 months of living together he dumped me over the phone and now acts like nothing has happened. now through emails Tells me i am the only woman hes ever trusted and wants to be friends. ive emailed him once saying i love him and does he want to work it out, to which i got no response. He then emailed me the day before my birthday saying he wanted to call, but didnt know if he should, and he hopes i get everything i ever wanted etc. I felt he was still clinging on so i texted him saying does he want to meet for hot chocolate - ( i thought well at least we could discuss it face to face) nothing. Then calls me three times on the morning of my bday and talks about superficial stuff, when i broached the subject of meeting he makes excuses of work - as usual. i feel let down and hurt - as usual.

I got paranoid towards the end of the relationship as i found pics of another girl on his laptop. Checked his phone and found flirty texts between them. When i asked him about it all he just called me paranoid, crazy and all he can still say is i should never have gone down his phone. Granted i feel ashamed for that, but this guy has cheated on every girlfriend he has ever been with and lied to me on numerous occasions. I just allowed my healthy paranoia to turn to unhealthy and now i feel completely stupid about doing it and am questioning myself.

He would bend the truth all the time. A week ago he even denied breaking up with me over the phone????? the usual 'no i didnt' came out. I cant tell you the amount of times ive heard the 'i didnt say/do that' line. he has me hook line and sinker. AT 33 he looks like a little boy and even when he did used to say im sorry it was with the little boy pout and im so silly and i just dont know why i do the things i do".

Every time he contacts me he asks me what im up to, and then proceeds to tell about how wonderful his life is, when i dont respond enthusiastically he will counter that by saying something he wants me to feel sorry for him for. Like, but my business hasnt done well this month.

The other day (6 weeks post beak up) he asked me how i was doing and i said, really rubbish, this break up has been hard for me to deal with and i feel angry that you dumped me over the phone and then just cut me off. His response was one of shock 'really?' i mean is this for real - do poeple like this really exist? i feel like ive been the one living in a fantasy for not seing it and finding it hard to accept.

When i asked him why he didnt respond to my email on us maybe getting some space and working through this together - he just said - what did you expect me to say? i didnt just do this for some break. I dont want to hear how angry you are.

he used to verbally attack me all the time, for even the smallest of things. The first time it happened was because i scraped my tooth on a folk. He went ballistic at me. swore cursed. I left and then came back. This was the start of it. Ive been called a 'f*&king idiot", :dramatic, mental, having father issues, a cry baby, the list is endless and got worse when we moved in. He had me pinned to the floor once with his hand around my neck.. when i tried to talk to him about this later he said - 'oh come on, we were both violent - we wind each other up." i have never been violent - i have been wound up when he used to shun me (put his hand in my face and tell me to 'shush, blah blah blah, you go on to much') i just wanted to explode and i shook him by the shoulders.

I have countless emails from me apologising to him and trying to get him to see even cm of my point of view. Some i got responses to, but most not. Just ignored. Last week i was told that he doesnt want to hear about how i feel.
In fact - when we broke up - he said - you cant say anything - this isnt about you. This is right for me.

Anyway - i stupidly emailed him last week asking him to stay out of my life, that he is one of the most insensitive people ive ever met, to stay out of the flat (which he has contributed zero to since he left) and to give me a months notice on when he wants to pick up the rest of his bits. Also asking to return the keys.
Of course i heard nothing. Its been nearly a week and ive just had an email from him asking when he can come and pick up the bits that he needs for new years and he hopes i had a nice time with my family over christmas? then his nickname with a kiss at the end???

Does he really expect me to be friendly after the way he left and not angry???

i feel like the crazy one - i dont know what to do? am i reading way too much into everything? advice would be great.

How do i respond to him? ive ignored it for a few hours, but this gos against who i am - ignoring and not responding.....i know not to send anything remotely emotional - i just dont want to play these stupid games....