What is happening?? Help

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#1 Dec 16 - 5PM
truetotruth
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What is happening?? Help

So I went to my therapist. The nightmares have been bad this week and I am struggling emotionally. He asked my oppinion on his son's upcoming marriage and if I thought the sons daughter was being selfish as only 3 members from his family are going.

WHAT!!!!!SERIOUSLY, I want to help its in my nature to help so I offered my oppinion and advice. Ive cried the whole way home. I need help. I need support. There is a lack of menatl health services in my community and I am so lost.

He asked me about god and what my thoughts were. He says he is scared of God.

I wanted to say I am terrified for my life and I am afraid I will never get better.

I can feel myself shutting down...I close my eyes and in my head my ex is smiling. I can see him with his next vicitim. I am trying so damn hard to rise above the rubble. I am trying to breathe....He won't leave my thoughts, my dreams and the tears are back full force.

Ive been to crazy..I dont want to go back there.

Dec 16 - 7PM
truetotruth
truetotruth's picture

My only Strength

Ladies where do I begin? This board and all of you who have put yourselves outthere have been my only strength in these last weeks. Reading all the comments, knowing I am not alone....it saves me. You have my word that I am not thinking of contacting the ex. Far from it. I am so angry that I am struggling to be whole and normal and he is the root of my unstable footing. I am angry that I cannot access the help that I need in this difficult time. I did the meds for a while when I really lost it. When I was comepltely dead inside. What I found was that it was all waiting for me. I did get the uninteruppted sleep I desperatley needed. I see the pros and cons. I am ready to work through this mess and just feel that I have no professional help to support my willingness to get "clean" . When I think of all of us living this way I feel a million emotions. I wish there was a way we could have a slumber party!! There would be lots of dart boards, tissue and CHOCOLATE and CARBS!! For all of you who took the time to write thank you so very much!! I am still here and I am hanging on. NC for me. NO CONTACT, NO CRAP, NO Crazy, NO confusion. Thank you for being here on my journey. I will keep making phone calls, Im not quite ready to give up on myself just yet. Bless you all.
Dec 16 - 8PM (Reply to #12)
Amazed
Amazed's picture

You are on the perfect course

Chocolate, warm socks, tissue, sweat pants. You got it, that is the recipe for a victory.. not kidding...
Dec 16 - 7PM
blueeyes
blueeyes's picture

I have actually had this

happen to me back in 2006. This woman was hearing me pour my heart out that I miss the kids because their father had them and he is abusive. She decides to compliment my pants, and asked if I was on a diet. I shook it off and said "no". This woman was pretty heavy and she kept reverting the conversation to her weight. I stopped and said "I'm sorry but do you need therapy for weight issues?" She said "excuse me?" I left. She works at my company now! Irony. I'm sorry because you feel like WTF, does anyone care??? This is horrendous! I have been dealing with mental health the past few days and I swear, we need friends instead! This burns me up that people can disregard the feelings of a CLIENT! Honey, you didn't do anything wrong and (sometimes) there are good therapists. It wasn't for me.
Dec 16 - 7PM
Briseis
Briseis's picture

This is such a bad time to

This is such a bad time to run into a shitty therapist :( The only thing you can do is turn away, turn away. Make some calls and find someone else who you can pay to focus on YOU. Good lord. I had a five year therapy with the same lady. In year four and five she shared a lot more about herself. The second therapist wouldn't even tell me if he had children!! He said "I'm here 100% for you, and for therapeutic reasons, I don't share details of my life with my clients." Well! He could have been a little less rigid . . . but this is a fairly common style. Don't take this as "there's no support anywhere". It is there. Phone calls or emails with an understanding person can help you as much as a therapist until you find one that meets your needs. You need real live connection right now. On the new board, there is a chat function along with the board posting. Have you been to the new board yet?
Dec 16 - 7PM (Reply to #7)
truetotruth
truetotruth's picture

New board

I have not been to the new board. Please catch me up?
Dec 16 - 8PM (Reply to #8)
Briseis
Briseis's picture

http://www.allaboutrecoveryne

http://www.allaboutrecoverynetwork.com/ We'll have a new and improved forum board where most of the activity will be going on after the first of the year. Betty and Lisa and Chad (the geek board god behind the scenes :D ) have been working their behinds off getting this new site going. Same people, better board. Lots more bells and whistles. Get over there and sign up girl!! Use your same username too.
Dec 16 - 8PM (Reply to #9)
truetotruth
truetotruth's picture

Thank you Briseis

Im there!!
Dec 16 - 6PM
michele115 (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Dear Therapist....

I have a question for you...have you dealt with Narcissistic Abuse? How qualified are you to treat this? How many cases have you treated? I need help and in taking an assertive stance...something that may be new to me - I am requesting a referral to someone who is familiar with this particular type of crisis. Thank you... Unbelievable - well not so much I've been through three and finally gave up. This board is what saved me my sanity and a lot of co-pays.
Dec 16 - 6PM (Reply to #5)
Hunter
Hunter's picture

Michele

You are a piece of work. I wish I lived in NYC. Next time im there Im buying you lunch. :)
Dec 16 - 6PM
Hunter
Hunter's picture

Oh Boy, I know this really

Oh Boy, I know this really sucks. Do not contact your Narc. You need a different thearpist or find that Alcoholic. I feel so sorry for you. Im not the best at writing. If you need someone to talk to please feel free to call me. Ask Betty to give you my info. Ive been there it will get better. I keep pushing medication. You may need some.These Narc's are starting to piss me off. Briesis wll be by to help. We all will. Keep reading. Lots of love OXOXO
Dec 16 - 6PM
helldweller
helldweller's picture

truetotruth

Dreams and nightmares every single night for months and months. Me too. And yes, my daughters tell me I cry and scream in my sleep as well. I'm so sorry you are going through this, but please understand that this is a really big deal what happened to you. The trauma is normal.
Dec 16 - 5PM
Amazed
Amazed's picture

The Nightmares True to Truth

Ok. This is his BRAINWASHING being worked out of your system!!!!! It is crazy, it is going to get better! Hang in there! I had nightmares. The OW who was involved with N had nightmares. This is your body, working his manipulation out of your system. Do not be afraid. It is going to take time. Bottom line. The nightmares will begin to get fewer. Don't give into panic. Hon, my ex roomate used to tell me I screamed in my sleep, all sorts of details about exN. This is how screwed up their manipulation of people is. (and people wonder if they should ever get back with these creeps). Stay the course of NC. It will take 18 months for it to get worked out of your system. You will have bad days. You will have good days. You will have bad days again. You will need to have a system, a way of dealing with this. You have to be very strong. Strong meaning, not give into the feelings, thoughts. Counter act them. The nightmares, you need to explain to yourself, and say over and over and over "this is just his attempt at manipulation over me" Realize that, as you stated, they indulge to see you suffer. Sick, horrible. Realize that this is just their effort to control you, nothing more. You are in control of yourself. God is good. Pray to be protected, and will Good People. Then get with Good People. It is going to take time, hang in there. Come and post here, whatever you do, NC.