1. Home
  2. Forums
  3. Narcissist Forums
  4. The Path Forward Forum
  5. Dear Members

Dear Members

10 posts / 0 new
Last post
#1 Dec 5 - 12PM
betty2020
betty2020's picture

Dear Members

In light of the recent posts the administrators and moderators have made the decision to implement some forum rules.

We have been seeing a lot of posts that are sexually graphic in nature and the vulgarity has reached the limits to what we feel is appropriate to our other members.

We do understand that there is much confusion and anger that is the result of the abusive relationship we are in/have been in. We have all been there and know that our anger from the situation can lead us into thinking/speaking in verbiage and tone that we may not usually use.

However, we do have members that take great offense to remarks that may be misconstrued as stereotyping, the use of graphic and vulgar descriptions of past events and repetitive foul language.

We must be mindful that there are others that do not engage with this type of behavior and therefore we have to ask all members to please tone down the comments.

We are not asking you to hold back your feelings. But we are asking you to present them in a manner that will be safe for those members to view. It is ok to throw out a cuss word now and then, but posts that are filled with F*%$# and C%@#, you get my point, are just not appropriate for our forum.

Many forums, if not all, have a very strict policy on this. You are not allowed to present yourself in this manner at all and will your membership will be revoked.

However, We are not this way but we also have to ask you to exercise some control and use better judgment when putting a post on our forum of this nature. Remember this is a Public forum. This means that everything we post is out for the world to see. When you speak, you are a representation to us as members on AAH.

I will be removing posts that contain such from this point forward. I will notify you prior as to the reasons we have made this decision and post a statement on the board.

Do not be in fear to throw up a few cuss words however, this is not the extreme we are going here. But we are all adults and know the difference between what is appropriate and what is extreme.

Betty

Dec 5 - 8PM
helldweller
helldweller's picture

A place for explicit content

A great idea. There should be a place to talk explicitly about this stuff. And maybe even a ranting place where we can use ONLY cuss words if we need to LOL
Dec 5 - 8PM
helldweller
helldweller's picture

cussing

Sorry, everyone. I am such a trembling little flower. This $#@*&()@!#$?! made me into the potty mouth I am today. Four years ago I would have gone to confession if I said the F word. Sorry.
Dec 5 - 4PM
gettinbetter
gettinbetter's picture

oops

I did drop a few f bombs. yikes. sorry.
Dec 5 - 4PM (Reply to #6)
blueeyes
blueeyes's picture

lol sick of it!

I know I dropped em as well. Lol. No worries, but just watch it in the car rider line. lol.
Dec 5 - 7PM (Reply to #7)
gettinbetter
gettinbetter's picture

why do ya think I have to

why do ya think I have to drop them here LOL. Ahhhh the anoynimity!
Dec 5 - 1PM
Briseis
Briseis's picture

I find myself quite

I find myself quite triggered by explicit sexual content. That is MY problem, not anyone else's. I can get down and gritty and have no moralisms (religious or whatever) about open discussions of the sexual act or what is done in the act. I know I'm not alone. And the sexual abuse we've endured at the hands of the Narc(s) or as helpless children or as a violent act of rape causes very personal reactions that are not within a person's direct control. Even though I would never hope to trigger someone in that way on purpose, I'd feel like crap if I did so inadvertently. And people don't always speak up, they just fade away. We want this place to be and feel SAFE. We are striving as individuals to make ourselves as SAFE in this world as we can possibly be. That means of course that the safety of others is important. We will have a "Sex and Intimacy" forum on the new board, and there is a warning that the content there could be explicit. I do believe there needs to be a place for such content. We do need to get it out. But perhaps it could be a password protected forum? Where it is not visible to users unless they click in with a password? Then people have a choice as to view it or not, and it doesn't represent AARN and Vain Forum in any public way. It will still be moderated of course, but it would be "contained" within appropriate boundaries. Thoughts?
Dec 5 - 1PM
neverlookback
neverlookback's picture

I agree too

I will be more careful - I never knew any of this until after I met him the sick sexual things he wanted to explore and YES I have been confused by it for a long time - seems his entire vocabulary was degrading body parts, we all know they are vile and perverted and your right it can be very offensive to others we can get our point across without graphic detail that offends others. Thanks
Dec 5 - 2PM (Reply to #3)
blueeyes
blueeyes's picture

Neverlookback

I agree with Betty and Briseis that content may bring up some old ghosts for others. I read (in your post) that you were responding off another thread because your interested in questions about your N? :( This a subject that's been bothering you and that's what we are here for:) Briseis said it best, we need a SAFE place where we can discuss the N's sexual weirdness, for lack of a better word. Neverlookback, we all weren't the same before the N experience. We sure are different afterwards, huh? Hey, that's a good thing :)
Dec 5 - 2PM (Reply to #2)
MsVulcan500
MsVulcan500's picture

Thanks Neverlookback,

I love your name, by the way! That is our ultimate goal! But thanks for understanding our position. Sometimes we get caught up in a discussion that is very relavent, but we start thinking we are almost having a dialog with one other member and may forget everyone is reading it. We never know what may offend or trigger someone, and while we can't completely stop all offenses and triggers, we can hit the more general subject matters that may offend a larger number of people. All of us come from different walks of life. That is one thing that is so cool about this forum. We come are all from different countries, we are different races, ages, genders, sexual orientations, some of us were OW and some wives, some GF's. We're all different, but we're all in the same boat! We just want everyone to be mindful when posting that all of these different people are reading what you write.