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Crazy? No!!

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#1 Aug 11 - 9AM
ginger3681
ginger3681's picture

Crazy? No!!

I just found this website and I am SOO happy I did!! I have been going through 2 years of craziness. My N comes back every few months. Just when I am getting better...the email or call comes...."Miss You", "thinking of you", XOXOXOX.....ugg! The last email, I replied about how things are good with me and what I have been doing and hope he is doing well etc....guess what? NO REPLY!! He is driving me nuts!!!
He even emailed me to join a social music site where you write comments about songs and add them to your list..he was adding love songs and making commments to someone eles!!! "this one is for XX"....(not me!) Why bother asking me to join???? To hurt me?? After reading this site, I finally figured it out...It is All to hurt me!! He even has become friends with some of my friends and when I see him in social situations and he talks to them it makes me nauseous and stressed out!!
In the past year, I created so much drama in my head, went through depression, thought I was going crazy, etc. When I found this site, I was so relieved to know that it is NOT me!!
Yes, I have co-dependency and self esteem issues that probably got me in this mess in the first place, but at least I know that there are others out there going through the same thing and I can get through this.

I am at a point where, I dont want to email him and I have stopped checking out all his websites (Way too much pain), but, I STILL want to hear from HIM! Is that crazy? He used to charm me with compliments and quotes about love. I never felt so good. Or felt so bad, then, good, then, bad.....ugg!!!

I know he will be back with a call or email or even scarier, a visit out of the blue and, with this site, I will try, with everything I've got to JUST SAY NO!! NC! No reply! no, no, no!!

Aug 11 - 5PM
Carolyn
Carolyn's picture

You aren't crazy at all.

You aren't crazy at all. this is how it goes. There is a statistic that there are 12.5 million personaltiy disordered people in the US and they negatively affect 40 million people in their work and social lives. You are a member of a very big CLUB. the need to see and talk to him is some chemical thing that has to do with a hormone called oxytin. this stuff will eventually be much more in the public eye and millions of women will be relieved to know that they are not crazy. this guy has a personality disorder he likes to control and manipulate women and put them in a negative frame of mind:fear, jealousy, anger etc. Tell him that most people thought that he was too good for you and now you see what they were talking about and agree. they like crazy stuff like that and he might leave you alone.
Aug 11 - 5PM (Reply to #5)
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

not crazy

it's called oxytocin. Sandra Brown, MA covers this in WOMEN WHO LOVE PSYCHOPATHS. Truly crazy people? never question if they're crazy btw. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ CLICK HERE: Articles & information for abuse victims - Updated Daily "Some women can fake an orgasm. But some men can fake an entire relationship!" - Sharon Stone
Aug 11 - 11AM
quietude (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

ginger

Welcome! Boy, have you come to the right place! This website was a life-saver for me, thank God for Lisa...and people like Barbara and others for posting a plethora of very valuable information for those of us who've had the misfortune of getting involved with narcissists/psychos. You're right, first rule is NO Contact! And...you are not crazy. This sort of thing happens. Keep reading, posting, venting...we are here for you!
Aug 11 - 9AM
Scoop
Scoop's picture

The fact that so many storys

The fact that so many storys are the same still amazes me , they leave they come back , your up then your down , you blame your self for being too needy too demanding too everything ! I im having a hard time convincing myself that there was nothing i did too much or too little of, i couldnt have changed his behaviour , i had no infloence over his tragic illness . How can i be in love with someone who is so bad for me . There is something sick about wanting a cuddle from someone who caused the pain . No contact really is the only way , i ran into my narc last week and i havnt been right since , crying all the time and having the sensation of being kicked in the stomach . I dont really know if i have ever felt so much pain in all my life . Its good your here and posting , it feels good not to go through this alone .I actualy think i would have gone crazy if i hadnt found out about this condition , its always better to know what your dealing with ,once you know they are sick and its nothing to do with you ,well, its a help .My boyfriend was a man with emotions of a 5 year old , its almost impossible to get my head round untill i remember things he said and huge contradictions even in the same sentance , he could go from loving me to ending the relationship in a space of an hour, several times , then in the morning act as if nothing has happened . It felt like when i was a kid in the play ground and had a fight and then we are best friends again , except im not a child ! madness . Big hugs Peru x
Aug 11 - 1PM (Reply to #2)
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

it's absolutely NOT you

http://www.lisaescott.com/forum/2009/04/28/am-i-responsible-how-he-acts-do-i-drive-his-behavior There is NO SUCH THING as co-dependence with an abuser/ narcissist! http://www.lisaescott.com/forum/2009/03/23/my-little-rant-co-dependence-and-co-narcissism-0 CLICK on MESSAGE BOARD on the left and read through ALL the pages - it's FULL of great articles and information!! I am SURE most of your questions have ALREADY been answered also CLICK on BLOG and go through ALL the pages - also full of good stuff.