Music

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#1 Mar 3 - 4PM
better off
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Music

I love youtube...anyway...music speaks like nothing else, for me at least...So I started this thread for songs we like.

This post is about the stages of a relationship with a N.

The beginning..(of lies) one of "our songs" awwww...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=alwEQVjA6io

The middle...(the beginning of understanding)I felt like dying.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7onMYUcdL04

The end (the beginning of freedom)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eP1GCCS-hrk&feature=related

Jul 8 - 4PM
sassyredhead
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Wide Awake - To the Ladies of the Board

To all those who have gone into the tunnel before me, and have come out the other side alive and kicking! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=14NYpiyBrNs WIDE AWAKE BY LACUNA COIL The revel inside A mind of my own I haven't felt right Since the moment I gave up I challenged my limits I'm feeling I'm becoming limitless I take it all in and inhale I'm wide awake I open my eyes and the sky is so blue all of a sudden I know that I treasure my life I find myself Wide awake Like you The struggle within Now I understand freedom begins When you get out of the cage you built It looks like I'm crazy but I'm not the only one To believe in myself, believe in myself I won't be coming undone Cause I feel like I'm wide awake I open my eyes and the sky is so blue all of a sudden I know that I treasure my life I find myself Wide awake Like you
Jul 1 - 10PM
better off
better off's picture

I love ska music, but I

I love ska music, but I haven't listened to it in a long while, so tonight I was listening to different songs by The English Beat...and I was like...OMG, he's singing about being one of them. A lot of new people are wondering what their N's think...I think they think this...(it takes me back to XN being confused and wanting ME to help him through it) I Confess http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ApEV0cFW3jE&feature=related Just out of spite, I confess I've ruined three lives Now don't sleep so tight Because I didn't care till I found out that one of them was mine. Night after night time time after time. Done too much of both types of w(h)ining. Still wasn't right fight after fight Till "Get out of my life get away from me get away from that gun" "No it's not a joke it's cards on the table time Yes I could have phoned I could have spoke But how to break the news without breaking your heart Being dead don't hurt, No only dieing Cards on the table time, Sometimes it's right to say goodnight." Always searching for paradise, I'll admit that I'm good as blind Darling I confess yes I've ruined three lives And didn't care till I found out that one of them was mine. I confess Our love seems like a punishment And I confess, If it's all the same to you I'll stay indifferent I confess I confess I confess I confess I confess I confess. No-one wins and there's no denying, Don't pretend like you don't know why, Just a little word here a little push there Darling I confess look I confess that I don't really care I confess I confess I confess. Out like a light, Another boy who's given up trying, Blinded by fright, He screams my life's not open, Please get out, I know I'm shouting, I like to shout. It's not a joke it's cards on the table time It's not a joke it's cards on the table time I could have phoned I could have spoke But how to break the news without breaking your heart Being dead don't hurt, No only dieing Cards on the table time, Sometimes it's right to say goodnight." Always searching for paradise, I'll admit that I'm good as blind Darling I confess yes I've ruined three lives And didn't care till I found out that one of them was mine. I confess I deserve some type of punishment I confess If it's all the same to you I'll stay indifferent I confess I confess I confess I confess I confess I confess I confess I confess I confess I confess I confess I confess I confess I confess I confess
Jul 1 - 10PM (Reply to #41)
quietude (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

better off

Thanks for the trip down memory lane, I loved this song when it came out..wow I'm old! lol Back then it was just a fun song to dance to in clubs, didn't pay much attention to the lyrics. Very interesting!
Jul 2 - 9AM (Reply to #43)
better off
better off's picture

Save It For Later

Save It For Later is another one you probably remember, then quietude (I'm old too! lol)...that was actually what I listened to first, and that was the one with the line, "Just hold my hand, while I come, to a decision on it." That caught my ear...and I googled the lyrics and said, well I'll be damned. So then I looked up I Confess. (Again, this is from THEIR perspective IMO) Save It For Later http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0bM0wVjU2-k Two dozen other dirty lovers Must be a sucker for it Cry, Cry, but I don't need my mother Just Hold My hand while I come To a decision on it Sooner or later Your legs give way, you hit the ground Save it for later Don't run away and let me down Sooner or later You hit the deck, you get found out Save it for later Don't run away and let me down You let me down Black air and seven seas and rotten through But what can you do? I don't know how I'm meant to act with you lot Sometimes I don't try I just now, now, now, now ,now ..... Two dozen other stupid reasons Why we should suffer for this Don't bother trying to explain them Just hold my hand while I come To a decision on it
Jul 2 - 10AM (Reply to #44)
quietude (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

better off

Yes, I love that too...I miss the 80's ;) They did have some dark lyrics, despite appearances...not really reflected in their videos!
Jul 2 - 12PM (Reply to #45)
better off
better off's picture

Just for fun

This is my favorite...and it makes absolutely no sense. Nothing dark about "go number one, stick a honeybun" lol This will make you feel happy. :-) Boy Meets Girl http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ahvoebM24Fs
Jul 1 - 10PM (Reply to #42)
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

betteroff

unfortunately exNH was and still is very into SKA "I Confess" was blasting on his stereo last time I dropped off the kids. UGH. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Free articles & information for abuse victims: http://abusesanctuary.blogspot.com Effective Coaching for Victims of Pathologicals http://one2one4victims.webs.com/
May 6 - 10PM
better off
better off's picture

Stand tall, it gets a little

Stand tall, it gets a little better.... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SBu7o4c4oE4
May 7 - 4AM (Reply to #35)
Lisa E. Scott
Lisa E. Scott's picture

My Music

Better Off - I love this song. Stand Tall is right! Very powerful. Thank you for sharing. If I may, I'd like to share my music with all of you. It seems especially appropriate this evening as a few of you have recently shared experiences with us where your ex-narcissist behaved in such a way that he gave you the clarity you need to move on and never look back. As I said, be thankful. Eventually, a narcissist shows his true colors and when he does he unknowingly gives you a gift - the gift of clarity. My song is about finally seeing a narcissist for who he really is and getting the clarity of mind you need to move on. Below are my lyrics. If you click on my Music Tab to the left on this website, you will be taken to the rest of my music. I did ten cover songs by my favorite female vocalists who helped me through it all and one original (that I've pasted below), which I co-wrote with William Ellis and Robin Grant of Nashville. Once in my music website, www.gottagetitout.com, simply double click on the red bar to the left and you can explore my new site to read more lyrics and sample my music. IT’S NOT YOU IT’S ME I don’t know why I refuse to see the truth It’s right in front of me now It’s black and white I see it all so clear Thank you for showing me how Many times You’d get angry and force a fight Ain’t that what you’re about I can see Through everything you do And it’s breaking my heart in two It’s not you It’s me I’m no longer afraid to see It’s not you It’s me I finally found some clarity You live your life like a movie And I don’t want to play Your beauty queen It’s not you It’s me You play the role That you were born to play A star in your own little show Stealing scenes And breaking my heart in two Bringin’ me down so low You tell lies Like a child speaks the truth So good you don’t even know In the end You’ll never see what’s real Or know what it’s like to feel Chorus I can see through everything you do But still It’s not you It’s me I’m no longer afraid to see It’s not you It’s me I finally found some clarity You live your life like a movie And I don’t want to play Your beauty queen It’s not you It’s me
Jul 8 - 5PM (Reply to #38)
Lisa E. Scott
Lisa E. Scott's picture

My new music video-Finally seeing him for who he is-a Narcissist

My video is done. Here's a link to it on YouTube and below are the lyrics. I hope it speaks to you! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AW9R6VqpY_Y IT’S NOT YOU IT’S ME I don’t know why I refuse to see the truth It’s right in front of me now It’s black and white I see it all so clear Thank you for showing me how Many times You’d get angry and force a fight Ain’t that what you’re about I can see Through everything you do And it’s breaking my heart in two It’s not you It’s me I’m no longer afraid to see It’s not you It’s me I finally found some clarity You live your life like a movie And I don’t want to play Your beauty queen It’s not you It’s me You play the role That you were born to play A star in your own little show Stealing scenes And breaking my heart in two Bringin’ me down so low You tell lies Like a child speaks the truth So good you don’t even know In the end You’ll never see what’s real Or know what it’s like to feel Chorus I can see through everything you do But still It’s not you It’s me I’m no longer afraid to see It’s not you It’s me I finally found some clarity You live your life like a movie And I don’t want to play Your beauty queen It’s not you It’s me
Jul 8 - 5PM (Reply to #39)
sassyredhead
sassyredhead's picture

You GO!

YOU GO GIRL!!!!!!! WELL DONE!!!! YOU KICK SOME SERIOUS BUTT!!!! LUV, LUV, LUV IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
May 7 - 2PM (Reply to #36)
cassiemay
cassiemay's picture

cd

Congratulations Lisa!! I hope you have a great evening... tonight's the debut, right? I just ordered your CD and can't wait to get it, hear it, and dance! CM
May 10 - 12AM (Reply to #37)
Lisa E. Scott
Lisa E. Scott's picture

Cassiemay

Thanks for your support, Cassiemay! I hope you like the CD! xoxo, L
Mar 24 - 5PM
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Living With a Passive Aggressive Man

While the book was very good I wrote Dr. Wetzler (the author) and told him: "unless you want to end up on constant anxiety & anti-depressants there IS NO WAY to "LIVE" with a passive aggressive man. P/A is a part of Destructive Narcissism and its INCURABLE!" I never heard back from him ;) Barbara http://abusesanctuary.blogspot.com
Mar 24 - 6AM
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

great minds

LOL Lisa - My Immortal came out right when I was dealing with the fallout from psycho-boy -- going to the police -- having my email watched -- PTSD in full swing. I would drive my kids to school and it invariably came on the radio while I was driving home so I'd sit in my driveway and cry. Hug- B. http://abusesanctuary.blogspot.com
Mar 24 - 11PM (Reply to #32)
Lisa E. Scott
Lisa E. Scott's picture

Barbara

Wow, you're right, great minds do think alike! That song struck a chord with you too, huh?! Such a powerful song.
Mar 23 - 11PM
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Now Ya'll Have Music Stuck in My Head

How you feel DURING the relationship http://www.imeem.com/sulkyme/music/tsi_vLaf/kasey-chambers-am-i-not-pretty-enough/ How you feel AFTER the relationship http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=idd_92ajjwY (one of my personal favorites) How you feel when you are finally FREE of him http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DFG9dwolo3Q The Narcissist http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5_1RqyNdzbE Enjoy!
May 10 - 10AM (Reply to #30)
fairy wings
fairy wings's picture

brilliant

Thanks Barbara, brilliant songs and of course The Who!
Mar 24 - 2AM (Reply to #26)
Lisa E. Scott
Lisa E. Scott's picture

My Immortal

OMG! Barbara - My Immortal is a song that came out right after I separated from my ex and I would cry almost every time I heard it because it reminded me of my relationship with him. One day about six to eight months after we separated and I had been identifying with this song for months, he made a comment to me that this song reminded him of us. I almost fell of my chair. Thank you for posting these songs. I never heard the first one, but really like it and of course, that song by the Who - perfect narcissist anthem! I will have my music posted to this site in a couple weeks and I can't wait to hear what you think of it. Music is so healing and I'm glad we can share it with one another! Best, Lisa
Mar 27 - 11PM (Reply to #27)
Lisa E. Scott
Lisa E. Scott's picture

Beautiful Song

I was coming home from the studio in a cab and my cabbie was playing some killer Peter Tosh music. This song was on and it sums up how I feel perfectly tonight. I don't want to get into it too much, but I just ended a very special relationship with someone. You have to listen to this song. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ty_uy361UaY
Mar 27 - 11PM (Reply to #28)
better off
better off's picture

Sorry you are feeling sad

Sorry you are feeling sad tonight. Hugs.
Mar 27 - 11PM (Reply to #29)
better off
better off's picture

Maybe this will make you

Maybe this will make you laugh...this was big when I was in college. I actually heard this on the radio today! And it finally made some sense..thinking about our auto-erotic N friends. lol Violent Femmes, Blister In The Sun http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ra8VTlXVqUQ
Mar 20 - 10AM
better off
better off's picture

Liar by Henry Rollins if

Liar by Henry Rollins if you are in the mood for any punk today. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_vgQalXaIxs
May 10 - 10AM (Reply to #24)
fairy wings
fairy wings's picture

Love this song

Thanks better off. I love this song, very powerful and apt!
Mar 21 - 12AM (Reply to #14)
Lisa E. Scott
Lisa E. Scott's picture

Thanks, Betteroff!

Wow, great video. Thanks for posting. He scares me in this video. This is exactly how we should think of narcissists when we visualize them.
Mar 23 - 6PM (Reply to #15)
better off
better off's picture

It is really scary, isn't

It is really scary, isn't it? I wanted to send him that link. Then I wanted to post it on a forum where I thought he might see it and a lot of other people would too. Then I could just say what he would say...what are you talking about?? That had nothing to do with you. ??? Golly Gee, N. Then I thought, no, he'd probably try to make it look like *I* was psycho. He's not done anything like that to my knowledge, but reading the histories of other N's...well, it's certainly possible. I'm not even sure he hasn't hacked me somehow...sometimes it seemed like he posted things that were too similar to things I was talking about in private. And when I started coming here, the VAIN forum, someone told me he posted on his FB page: "N" was so vain..he probably thought that song was about him." Little things like that, that make me paranoid. I keep running sweeps of my computer, and I changed all my passwords to something insulting him personally, lol.
Mar 23 - 9PM (Reply to #23)
Lisa E. Scott
Lisa E. Scott's picture

BetterOff

Yes, I cannot get the image of Henry Rollins in that video out of my head. It so perfectly depicts a narcissist! Yeah, that's weird that he posted that on his Facebook page. You should delete him as a friend, if you haven't already. I always look forward to your music posts! Thanks for sharing! Best, Lisa
Mar 23 - 8PM (Reply to #16)
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Better off - sharing some hard learned advice

I started this journey of finally realizing what a Narc was and Psychopath was about 11 years ago. I was still with my Narc H and my kids were infants. I was in a store and saw a book called LIVING WITH A PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE MAN. I read it and thought "OMG - Turd (my nickname for him) needs to be on EVERY PAGE" I showed it to my therapist and she agreed but felt there was more to his issues. The book was astounding and the behaviors he was doing were SO blatant. STUPID ME - I gave him the book and begged him to read it and come GET HELP - with or without me. He read it and became enraged and a few days later took it and threw it at me hard and it hit me in the side of the head. Told me that book was about ME! A few months later I learned Passive-Aggressiveness was removed from the DSMV and placed in a category under the Destructive Narcissistic Personality Disorder category. About 4 years later Psycho-Boy swept back into my life. My Narc H found out abut the emotional affair HE DRAGGED me to marriage counseling and a counselor who said that MY disability ended the marriage and I was a bad bad bad person for having an emotional affair. Turd would sit in therapy with his Palm Pilot checking off all the horrible things I did. By then MY therapist had told me to read WHY DOES HE DO THAT by Lundy Bancroft. When the stupid marriage counselor saw me with the book she told me ABUSE WAS A BUZZWORD and made some comments about my appearance. When I told her all the sexual, verbal & emotional abuse I was taking? She picked up the phone TO TELL TURD. He actually slapped me a few times when I got home and put a huge bag of garbage in the bed with me while I was asleep. We didn't sleep together after that because he said my disability made me sweat and stink. (It doesn't) so I - with my chronic pain - slept on the floor of my kids room for almost 16 months until I moved out. Then I stumbled on Joann Ashmun's site on Narcissism... the alarms finally went off in my head. Anyway - that's what trying to show them they are sick and need help does. It ENRAGES them and then the PROJECT it all back on to you. HERE'S MY SONG, for all you: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T4EszMkxqEs Don't do it ladies. It's not worth it. Barbara http://abusesanctuary.blogspot.com
May 10 - 10AM (Reply to #22)
fairy wings
fairy wings's picture

Sting

A beautiful song in its own right. Listening to this song and all the music suggested here has given me more strength in my inner voice. 'Gonna life my life in my own way', how empowering just to say it in your own head as a reminder of what you left behind and to keep you forward focused. Slight irony my ex looked like Sting and was a huge Peter Tosh fan. Has made me wonder if even then he was giving me messages! Of course he would say this is further evidence of my paranoia which I prefer to call insight.
Mar 24 - 4PM (Reply to #18)
better off
better off's picture

Funny, that's the first book

Funny, that's the first book I read too! LoL...Living With The Passive Aggressive Man. That was about a year ago. N told me to read up on passive-aggressiveness and maybe that would help me with my husband. He was quite the diagnostician, N. ;-) And he was always right. But sometimes my H is just plain Aggressive. I just finished reading Why Do They Do That? That was mind-blowing. My H has such a nice, Jekyll side that it's so hard to admit even now that he's "an abuser." Although I had started to feel like instead of being a nice guy who could lose his temper...he was a mean guy who pretended to be nice sometimes. I don't know what the hell he is. Exhausting, I guess. I feel like I need to pretend with him now, live in the Pretend World while I work out what to do, because he cannot tolerate me standing up to him or violating the Pretend World. I'd read Love Without Hurt by Steven Stosny...who thinks an abuser CAN be different, with reconditioning, (though not always) by appealing to their core values as a human being. He claims to have success with this and he's no fan of abuser programs. He's someone that DOES get it that marriage counseling makes abusers worse. But in his theory, they, um, have to HAVE core values like the rest of the human race. I bought into that for a while. But I think something is "missing" from my husband. UGH...when I feel raw inside I want to go talk to N. :-( I had a year of conditioning to go to him to feel better. A need he created, of course. Half the time I think I've made him into some kind of monster that he isn't...when the worst he's done to me is be aloof, or self-absorbed, and I'm just extrapolating the rest from all this psychopathy reading. Then the other half of the time, I think he's really dangerous and I should be thankful it never got really ugly. Then I also read the other posters...and see that even if he IT DID get ugly, those feelings still remain for these guys...and the only thing to do is stay away from him.